Money Talk Matters – Bride and Groom Money Talk©

I wonder how many brides and grooms are having a wedding on credit? Consequently because couples have focused on the wedding day and must have their dream wedding, the marriage is started out in debt.

They talked about the wedding, how many bridesmaids, number of groomsmen, even the types of cakes they wanted. Yet, they did not take the time to think about after the Wedding. They do not stop and consider what they want their marriage to look like. Now is not the time to walk down the aisle with rose colored glasses on.

Be honest and begin have the Money Talk. What is the benefit to having wedding debt that outlast the marriage? If you know of one, please share I am all ears and imagine my readers would like to hear it as well.

Pre-marital money talks before marriage can alleviate I believe a lot of financial stress in the marriage later. You know the saying better late than never. Well in this case, I like better early bird gets the worm. Why? Simply for the fact that when people have chosen to not disclose about their finances the repercussions can be devastating.

Marriage takes two people who are committed to their relationship which involves work. That same holds true when it comes to the money and marriage component. As a matter of fact, I listened to an audio interview on US News and World Reports with Ms. Palmer. Click the link and listen.

Weigh in – what do you think about Premarital Money Talks?

I love it when I find stories like this that reaffirm what I have been saying. Naturally when I found this one, I had to share this. This article talks about the 5 Costly Money Mistakes Newlyweds Make

One of the five mistakes is a lack of communication. That does not surprise me because we both know that money is still a “Taboo” subject when getting married. Even in 2009 with everything that is going on with the economy, sometimes money is not being discussed in the manner it should be.

I must admit when I read about this couple who are newly married but lived together for seven years, purchased a home after they got married stated that they realized financial decisions can be some of the toughest.

Makes me wonder what were they doing when they lived together! Were they keeping things separate and not even talking about joint finances for seven years or what do we do if this… since we are under one roof. Now, I am not advocating living together prior to marriage -what I am pulling from this article is it appears couples have not thought about married life.

A second one is a failure to plan. To me this goes without saying because when you are unprepared, financial challenges can tear down a relationship really fast, cause husbands and wives to point the finger at each other and lead to all sorts of stress in the marriage. This can happen whether you are a newlywed or married for a longer period of time.

A third one is handing over control. When it comes to managing finances for the marriage, I am a huge believer in including the person that is not the money manager. They need to be aware of all the details – how the bills are paid, when, the account numbers, the automatic deductions and more. Do not set your spouse up for financial disarray by not including them in the financial picture.

What do you think are the costly money mistakes?

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Everywhere you turn, managing money in marriage is a hot topic. It is no longer a subject that can be ignored. It such a blessing to be a money and marriage advocate that champions the cause of GREAT money and marriages that are successful.

I read an article in the Jamaica Observer this morning about Managing Money in Marriage where this person is frustrated with her husband because he spends a lot. Although they agreed to stick to a budget, he still spends. That is happening every day in someone’s marriage.

To the wife that is reading this, before you blame him – you know that he is a shopper. So you cannot fault him for his spending even though he agreed to save. Let’s face it he has done this before, this was not the first time. So before you blow up and get all upset and begin spending out of emotions, why don’t you sit down with him and re-evaluate your financial plan.

The idea is to be flexible in finances with your financial plan instead of stringent and not allowing any freedoms. If you are too stringent, then you will have frustrations with every expenditure that you did not count on. Relax a little bit.

Make sure that you take the time to discuss all the household bills and your income. This gives each person a picture of what needs to be done when it comes to the money. Work together for your money and marriage not against it.

What is it going to take for people to wake up? My rant for this morning. As I was doing some reading on the internet I came across this article titled “The Friendship Marriage“. Alright so it alludes that when you think of a “Friendship Marriage” you think about two people who have not gotten married by their thirties, they are friends and agree to marry each other.

It goes on to say that many couples today are entering into a marriage where love is only one component of the marriage. Okay! Stop for a minute. Whether it is a “so-called Friendship Marriage” love has always been one of the components and not the only component. Marriage is what people CHOOSE and I do mean CHOOSE to make it.

Okay so it continues, “Companionship or friendship marriage is the joining together of two people who have successful careers, independent lives, strong friendships, and a “sense of self.”

Where is it written that if you get married for love that the people cannot have successful careers, somewhat be independent, have a strong friendship and a sense of self? Can someone please put this in the comments for me once you have read this post.

Here’s the kicker – They respect and have a love for each other, rather than “being” in love. WHOA! That paints a different picture. In my opinion, marrying for LOVE with someone that you can be in love with is a lot more fun. This person should be your best friend. Sounds like a friendship marriage is between two people that might not be able to handle a regular marriage with someone they would be “in love” with. Sure does make me think.

One thing this article in my opinion prides itself on is the fact that finances are disclosed and talked about. I could see them discussing it up front but I sure have to wonder how long these marriages would last. Thinking about this type of marriage, I see sooo many red flags.

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As I was doing some research today, I found the follow-up story. Seems there was an agreement reached. Break up was due to many factors – infidelity by both parties, etc. Post-nuptial agreement is upheld. I must say I am glad that it was upheld. Both parties are happy with the way it turned out. Watch below and send in your comments to this blog:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/31992814#31992814

Weigh in. Do you think she should have been given this amount?

Think about these statistics:
3 out of 4 married couples argue about money
Money is one of the top causes of divorce
7 out of 10 couples say that money causes stress in the relationship
Cheating with money occurs in 1 out of 3 marriages

If you are planning to walk down the aisle and have not talked about money yet – congratulations, you still have time. With money being a main component when it comes to marriage, it is time you begin talking about this very crucial subject for the life of your marriage.

As you are reading this, I bet you can list at least three or four married couples that are having difficulty because of finances. How do I know? Because one party of this marriage is talking to you about their financial difficulties instead of talking to their spouse. Hold on, it happens to many people. Why? Because money is one of those subjects that brings with it a lot of fear, disappointment, judgment per se and also anger. Those characteristics are brought on by people though. Money in itself cannot do that. How people think about money and their experiences causes these emotions which leads to reactions!

As you are preparing to get married, remember these couples and begin talking with your future spouse now about money? Trust me this is not going to all happen in one night. Money Talk in a marriage lasts a lifetime it is not a one time occurrence. So you can start slow. The idea is TO START. For those of you that are asking how do I even start, let me say you can start by saying to your future spouse I would like to share with you about financial obligations that I have and will be bringing into the marriage. This way you know what you are getting yourself into. Don’t make it all about the spouse. Take the reigns and you start by opening up about your money management behavior.

Take it from a happily married wife of 13 years, it might be difficult in the beginning, but your soon-to-be spouse will GREATLY appreciate your honesty and this will build even more trust. You didn’t try to hide it.

If you need help in learning financial skills, have I got just the course for you. The Wedding Bailout is an ecourse that will come to your email each morning and teach you how to begin the talk. It will make you think and take you to the next step without pointing the finger. For those that get this course, you will also receive – Bride’s Guide When The Sky is Knot the Limit which helps you plan your wedding. The Bride’s Guide was written by Creations of Love a romantic decorating firm.

Have you met “The One” and know that you will be together forever? You have a great time with this person, can talk about anything and even see yourselves together for the long haul but one thing is standing in your way….
The other person has OVERWHELMING DEBT and you cannot put it out of your mind!

Let me say upfront, I applaud you for paying attention and being honest about how this makes you feel. You realize that money is not a subject that should be swept under the rug as if it doesn’t exist. Now the idea is that you are not saying it changes your love for the person. What you are saying is that you and this person should talk about what are their plans for paying off this debt, how long is it going to take and what steps have they already put in place?

Getting married is serious business because it is not a fairly tale or a tv show. It takes two committed people that are choosing to love each other and not based on emotion. That understand life has ups and downs, yet they are agreeing to weather the ups and downs, allow each other to grow and become the magnificent person that is inside and can conquer the world together. People that take their vows seriously and not lightly.

If you are aware that your soon-to-be spouse has debt and you are not sure how to begin the conversation, I invite you to get “The Wedding Bailout” today at www.moneytalkmatters.com/the-wedding-bailout which will guide you in the comfort of your to begin talking about money in a non-threatening and light-hearted fashion. After you purchase “The Wedding Bailout”, at the end of this e-course you will receive “Bride’s Guide When The Sky is Knot The Limit” which was developed by Creations of Love, Inc. to assist you in planning your wedding on a budget.

I knew last night when I saw the story that said $2M wedding called off by NBA’s Jefferson that I would have to do some more research. In the story I read last night, he called it off in time for her to notify her friends, but his friends got to come out and party on him.

Glad I waited until today to write about it.

According to a NY Post story, he was quoted as saying, “If you aren’t 100% certain about something, you shouldn’t do it.” I commend him on seeing things for what it was and the fact that he was not doing this for people but for himself.

So many people get caught up in the wedding planning that the ignore obvious signs that should be addressed and then once they are married, it’s as if they are seeing the spouse for the first time. In reality, the person did not change it is just that the other person is now focused on this spouse and not “a wedding”.

Sure it might be hard for this young lady at first, but this could be the best thing for both. This gives them time to reflect on who they are as individuals before they enter a serious, committed relationship.

You can read more of the story here – NBA’s Jefferson married to the sport ’til death