Money Talk Matters

Archive for July, 2009

The title of this story alone made me stop and read it. $99M Divorce trial. We know the story, older business tycoon marries younger woman. Younger woman is appealing initially, then older business tycoon gets tired of younger woman. Younger woman has now become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Divorce ensues and now she believes she is entitled to remain in the same lifestyle.

This amazes me – 3 yrs after the wedding, young wife signs a postnuptial agreement for $43 million million in stock, hedge fund shares, jewelry, and properties in Sweden worth $4 million. I would think for the average person that should be good. But no – she says they reconciled for 6 months after they broke up so the agreement is void.

Reportedly he is worth $300 million – so she was $99 million of it. He takes the stand and says this marriage was “dead” long before he became involved with another woman.

In my opinion, she wants to make him pay even more because he is involved with someone else. My goodness these are poor examples of choosing a mate, yet they are adding to divorce statistics. These marriages are ending up in divorce and it truly costing more than the marriage.

Remember – Biggest marital expense of them all is …. DIVORCE.

When the story first came out in our local news, I could not believe it. Unfortunately, what some people call “love” makes them do crazy things – should not resort to illegal activity.

Story is titled Ex-tax worker says she stole $11 million for love. At the end of the day, she stole the money and was giving it to him. Of course, he was married. She was using the money to lure him from his wife.

I must ask this question: Why do people lose their “NATURAL” mind when it comes to money and what they perceive as love? As a result of this lady’s actions, she is serving a 24 yr prison term. She doesn’t get him. He is on trial now for theft, forgery, racketeering, etc. Before you ask – sure they have turned on each other.

The actions of both individuals have already affected more than just him. Apparently in the story it says he was paying child support. So there will be a child that is not seeing a parent. Once again, there’s a wife that will be dealing with consequences based on husband’s actions.

These stories are heartbreaking because a lot of people are being hurt in the end. Not just the immediate people involved. Do not let money control you and cause you to commit crimes, reck families and put you in danger.

Tip: You should control money – not be controlled by money.

Money has many roles in our lives. Yet at the same time being something that most everyone wants, it is also one thing that many have limited knowledge in how to manage. With limited knowledge people manage money by trial and error thereby causing other mistakes. Look at these statistics for example:

1 in 3 marriages deal with financial infidelity

Money is one of the top reasons for divorce

The average college students has over $20,000 in debt when they graduate.

From a survey of married couples, only 14% said that income, debts and assets should be disclosed before marriage.

These are only the beginning of statistics that are out there. Money is a tough subject that changes lives good or bad. A lot of people remain in financial stress and unhappiness because of these three words that are the toughest to say…… I NEED HELP

If you cannot say these words, you stay in financial stress and difficulty. Once you step out and say these words your life can change. I remember when I said those words – it was very hard and even made me cry but once I did it, things began to change.

Caution: Do not let pride keep you in the vicious cycle of debt.

Bills, bills and more bills. You work each day and get paid twice a month. The debt has gotten so bad that you do not even look forward to payday because the money is already spent. Month after month you pay one bill and get behind on another. You don’t like it but you have found a little solace in knowing that you are paying.

All of a sudden, there’s a little glimmer of hope because one pay period you actually got some overtime. This time it seems you are about to get caught up. But the next thing you know, the next month you are behind again. So you sit and believe that you are all alone.

You continue going to work and not saying anything to any of your co-workers, yet your work begins to deteriorate. Your mind is constantly focused on the finances and you do not know what to do. You have been praying and nothing seems to be changing.

You do not think for one minute that you can divulge this challenging area in your life. You believe people are going to judge you and make you feel worse than you already do. Night after night you go to bed upset without your financial issues being resolved.

You are not alone. There are people like you all over the world. The difference between you and them today is that you can choose to get on a path that leads to financial cleanup and success. Sure that does not come from your being silent. That comes with your stepping out and realizing you have to get guidance from outside of yourself. What will you choose today – continued financial nightmare or a plan towards financial cleanup and success?

Are you making more financial mistakes this morning without even trying and your spouse is fed up? Is he or she barely hanging in there with you because the mistakes are soooo many that they are ready to throw in the towel? If this is you, then keep on reading and know that there are some steps that you MUST take.

First and foremost admit to yourself that you are not good at managing money. Re-evaluate how you managed money over the last six months. Consider the following:
a) Did you pay the bills on time?
b) Did your checking account become overdrawn at any point?
c) Did you spend money frivolously that should have went towards the bills?
d) Did you forget about an automatic deduction that only comes out quarterly and it affected your account?

How many times during the six months did that happen? Maybe it is time that you turned over managing money to the spouse. Then forgive yourself because you have limited financial knowledge which is one of the reasons you have made some of these mistakes.

Second, go and ask your spouse to forgive you for the mistakes that you have made. Ask them to sit down with you and discuss the finances so you can turn over managing the money to them. You are no longer comfortable doing it and do not want to hurt the family’s finances in this way. Understand while the spouse is managing the money you want to talk with them about how they manage the money and see what is done.

Third, stop using credit cards. Literally put them away. Do not create more debt, but order your credit report to truly see what debt you have. Remember, the majority of the time debt does not occur overnight – it is slow but once it happens it continues to spiral out of control unless you take action.

Fourth, establish realistic mutual financial goals per month. I am not talking about saying we are going to pay off every bill in 30 days. I am saying look at what your bills are, what your income is and place your bills on a schedule for paying them off. Caution: Do not create a bigger financial mess by being unrealistic.

Do not take what I have shared lightly. For some of you, your relationship – your marriage is on the line and you must make a change. Do not be in denial about your choices. Every choice has a consequence good or bad. Choose this day to take a stand in your finances for your marriage. If you want my help, then contact me and let’s work together.

Let’s have some fun with truth this post. Prepare yourselves because it could hit some hard and others will read it and still not do anything.

When our car breaks down, the first thing we do is call a mechanic or take our car to a mechanic.

When we do not feel well, we go to the doctor.

When our vision is blurred or we think we are not reading clearly, we go to the eye doctor.

When we do not hear clearly, we go to an ear doctor.

When we have financial challenges and are making financial mistakes, look at what happens:

1) Because of embarrassment, we do not talk to anyone. Consequently we make even more mistakes.

2) We attempt to ignore the problem, thereby ruining our credit.

3) If in a marriage, we point the finger and blame the other spouse. Which causes anger in the relationship and causes stress.

4) Our work performance deteriorates because we are constantly thinking about our lack of money to pay the bills.

5) If you are single and have borrowed money from friends, we stay away from our friends.

6) Money problems lead to divorce in marriage because there is a communication breakdown.

7) We do not talk to anyone for fear of being judged.

Yet in every situation prior, we consult the most likely person who has the expertise to fix the problem or provide recommendations on solutions.

Why not in finances? Do you like where you are in your finances today? Or, do you want to make a change? If you want to make a change – Dr. Taffy is in the financial house and ready to help you.

You have to do something different in order to get better results. I know some of you will read this and agree with it, yet not take any action. I wish you well. But for those of you who take a stand today and say I want to make better financial decisions, get ready for your path to GREATNESS in financial achievement.

Welcome our sponsor for this week, The Heavenly Husband . If you are seeking biblical guidance on being the husband God wants you to be, then visit TheHeavenlyHusband.com .

Husbands are the head of the household and therefore have a great responsibility to lead. Wives share this valuable resource with your husbands.

Go to www.TheHeavenlyHusband.com today and let them know you heard about them on Money Talk Matters on GLORI Radio.

I have been reading like many others about Steve McNair and the “other woman”, who was not his wife who he chose to become involved with. I thought about this for a day or so and decided this morning to write about it.

Clearly, this young woman did not know what she had gotten herself into and I imagine was “proud” that she had someone of his caliber interested in her. Let’s take a quick review – she was a waitress that drove a Kia. Pro Athlete comes into her life and she gets an Escalade, a condo with him and it appears she could be on easy street. She was led to believe (we don’t know if he told her) that he was going to divorce his wife which is why she was going to sell her furniture.

From my reading the story in the news, she had a roommate that moved out and now her rent was going to cost her $1,000, she was paying on the Escalade and her Kia which she did not sell. So she felt that her life was spiraling out of control financially and she thought her Pro Athlete boyfriend (husband) was seeing someone else other than her and the wife.

Let’s talk about the mind for a minute. This is absolutely CRAZY . Follow my thought pattern for a minute – if you are the other woman involved with a married, since he is not being faithful to his wife and spending time with you – what makes you think he is going to be faithful with you. Okay, now I can get off of that rant.

This young lady clearly was overwhelmed by her financial obligations that she could not handle and those other factors made it worse. In the end, she felt her only way out was to end it all for those immediately involved. Which without knowing had a snowball effect – now, once again it comes to the light that a husband has been cheating on his wife with whom he had kids. She had no knowledge of it. She is left making funeral arrangements, trying to make sense of what just happened and unfortunately, I imagine she will have to try and explain this to their children.

Recommendation: Overwhelming Debt can lead to Disaster and Irreparable Damage.

Couples are discovering hidden talent and becoming craftier as they plan for their weddings. Due to the economy, weddings have been turned upside down by the recession. I have read story after story, including this one that says Couples are saying I Don’t to Expensive Weddings

I congratulate every couple that is realizing what is happening with the economy and choosing not to overspend. I encourage these same couples to take it one step further and invest in financial education skills for the lifetime of their marriage. Why you are making compromises for your “Dream Day”, think bigger and think about the day, the months and years after your wedding.

Money is a topic that should be discussed even know in a larger context beyond the wedding day. For example, the bride and groom should be asking each other, what financial obligations are you bringing into the marriage that I am not aware of? Are you a shopper or a saver? Those are only the beginning.

Talking about money in depth while you are preparing to walk down the aisle cannot hurt your relationship. It can actually help your relationship because you are choosing to be transparent and not hide anything from your respective bride or groom.

Brides walk down the aisle to join their groom and say the long awaited “I Do” to each other for a ceremony that they have dreamed about for a long time. The wedding day is such a build up – the flowers, caterers, wedding party, and all that goes into it. Then once the wedding is over and the bride and groom return from the honeymoon, reality sets in.

A new chapter in their lives and if this has not been discussed, debt begins to rear its ugly head. A sure way to start a marriage off on the wrong foot is to start out with debt and not having discussed existing debt being brought into the marriage. The honeymoon is truly over because financial challenges can lead to arguments, fingerpointing, silence and even the husband or wife now talking with friends about their financial problems.

I am sure people need to vent every now and then. What I am saying though is you need to have the “Money Talk” with the spouse in order to develop a plan to pay things off. Talking with friends is okay but they are not in your relationship, nor are they going to pay your bills.

For those engaged couples that may read this, there is no reason to walk down the aisle without discussing money. Get The Wedding Bailout today and learn how to start the Money Talk for your marriage.