postheadericon Money and Marriage as a Solo Effort

There are many married couples where one person in the marriage is taking care of the money and the other person has no knowledge of what is truly happening with the household finances. I like to say there is a group of people that are managing money in marriage as a solo effort.

Solo means one. Doing alone. The problem with the solo effort is that the person in this position can get into financial situations where decisions need to be made that affect both the husband and the wife, not just one person. Marriage is the relationship that you are in and have; money is a facet of the marriage. It is important that both husband and wife participate in the financial facet of the marriage. You cannot put all of the responsibility on one person and then disagree with the consequences of the choices they made.

This solo effort can wind up making the person dealing with money feel soooo low that they cannot make an informed and educated financial decision. Yet the other person in the marriage has no idea what is truly happening with the finances until it is almost too late. If your marriage falls into this solo effort, stop it from continuing on this dangerous path and begin talking with your spouse today.

Inclusion is better than exclusion. When spouses are excluded from certain things, it can affect the marriage on a long-term basis. Do not put your spouse in the position of not knowing. Remove the solo effort today and include them in the household finances. You will not have to bear the burden of a lack of finances, late pays on bills and more on your own.

A united effort is better and produces better results. Don’t put all of the responsibility on one spouse. It affects both of you.

2 Responses to “Money and Marriage as a Solo Effort”

  • MF:

    What about marriages where the husband dumps all financial responsibility on his wife (including making all income) and is quite happy living in his own little world, pottering about, working occasionally at a “fun”, low stress, low pay, part-time job, oblivious to bills and all other responsibilities? Disappears upstairs to play computer games when he comes home. Doesn’t want to know about finances, doesn’t care.

    I’d love to know if anyone has found a solution to this relationship/finances issue, other than splitting up, or working night and day to make enough money to survive.

    How many women in internet marketing do it mainly because they have “shadow” husbands that they have to pick up the financial slack on?

  • Jessica:

    That is a tough one MF. I have seen this happen. What I have discovered is that the man typically will not change his ways. Therefore, the wife has the choice to decide if she can live with it or to tell him here are some stipulations to make it work. I suggest you make them very clear and inform in a kind way. He has to know that the talk will come someday.

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