Money Talk Matters

I must say with all the different things going on with the economy and how it is affecting marriages, I am happy to see the anonymous questions that are coming in. For example, today this statement came in my fiance does not want to share his money. Hmm – there are several ways that you can look at this.

What is the reason the bride feels her fiance should share his money even at this stage? Is it because they have established mutual bills for the wedding? Or is it because she thinks she should have access now and would rather spend his money versus her money?

Why does the fiance not want to share his money? Is there something that happened in a previous relationship that has given him reason to keep his money separate until they are married? Where is it written that even during the engaged state, there is an obligation to share the money? Personally, I feel that the bride-to-be and groom should be watching how each other handles their individual money. They should be making a mental note of the following things:
a) Are they paying all their bills on time?
b) Are they purchasing all their wants versus their needs?
c) Are they spending when they are unhappy and overspending?
d) Are they asking the other person for money?
e) Do they borrow money from their parents because they have a shortage?

Those questions and much more should be answered even in this stage. I do not fault the fiance for not wanting to share without knowing all the facts. I see it as a precaution and the bride-to-be needs to find out why he feels this way. DO not assume you know the reason before talking with him and asking the question.