There are many brides-to-be and grooms-to-be that are dealing with one of their future spouses being broke and they are shouldering all the bills during the engagement phase and they are sick of it. It is not only because they are shouldering all the bills, furthermore, they are the one taking care of keeping the house clean, cooking dinner and more. Incidentally, this is beginning to wear on the one that is bringing in the income.
Newsflash – If this is what is happening when you are engaged and you are not expressing your concerns and talking about it, the same will occur once you are married. Notice I said if you are not expressing your concerns – not arguing, calling each other names, walking out and leaving things unresolved. None of those behaviors solve financial shortcomings. Let’s break it down.
When you are engaged and only one of you are bringing in the income – yes initially it seems okay but it will wear off in a short matter of time. Here is what you look at: 1) Does your future spouse have the initiative to change jobs or get a job if he or she is not working; 2) Do they also have bills and you are paying his or her bills in addition to yours and are you able to do it without falling behind on your bills; 3) It sends a message when he or she is not paying her bills during the engagement phase because what will they do when an emergency or situation happens once you are married?
Let’s take it here, what would your parents say if they knew your future spouse was not paying his or her bills and you were paying everything? If you won’t tell them, what keeps you from telling them and why? My purpose here is to show you this could be a red flag because people do not change once they get married. As a matter of fact, after a period of time they get comfortable and what you put up with for a certain period of time becomes acceptable and they do not expect they should change.
You can be sick of shouldering all the bills and are you going to TALK about it? What is it that you want to see happen in your finances while you are engaged and then let’s talk about once you are married. Because normally what happens while you are engaged gets carried over into the marriage. Set the right foundation now for financial and marital happiness not discord.