Money Talk Matters

I have to continue writing about fiance’s this week because there have been a lot of anonymous questions coming in. Believe me I can understand anonymous because finances are a tough, private and can be an embarrassing subject to talk with someone about. It is a subject that can change people’s lives forever based on their mindset, level of stress, urgency as well as desperation.

Let’s jump right into this: My fiance’s parents are not contributing to any of the wedding, yet they want my family and I to incorporate a lot of their expensive traditions. They did not want anything to do with the plans, but when they find out about what has been decided then they want to change things. How do I handle this?

For the brides that are dealing with the above question, BLESS your heart. You have already made decisions and more than likely have paid money towards various things that were within your budget and your parents budget. What I am about to share with you will be straight and to the point without pulling any punches.

First and foremost, whose wedding is this? Yours and your future husband. Who is paying for this wedding? Sounds like you and your parents and you are staying within the established budget. Who should be dealing with your future in-laws? Hmmm, I would say your future husband. Why? Because I am imagining that you and he talked about the wedding plans and discussed in detail what you would like to see. Now that his family is coming back after the fact, when THEY DID NOT want any part of the planning does not mean it is okay now to disrupt your wedding plans. There is already stress that comes with planning without this type of tension. Be careful not to allow anyone to try and relive their wedding through yours and turning your WEDDING DAY into something that you do not want.

Caution: Pay attention to how your fiance handles this because this can set the tone for how he will handle things once the two of you are married… if there is an issue between you, his wife and his parents. That’s a different post for another week at least.