Money Talk Matters

Archive for the ‘Money in Marriage’ Category

What a fun 31 days this has been sharing our conversations with you about money in our marriage. Today, I decided not to watch TV as much when it came to the news. I had a lot of tasks that I needed to get done knowing this coming week would be filled with interviews. Hubby took the kids out so that I could get some of my domestic duties done and prepare for the upcoming week.

I encourage you to go back and look at the previous 30 days of talks and see what lessons I learned. I invite you to share with us some of the lessons you may have learned throughout your marriage when it comes to money.

One lesson I want you to remember most is PRESENTATION is key. How you share the information will determine the response or reaction. Whether you or upbeat or down when you share this information will also make a difference.

This morning was truly hard for me. As I was preparing to leave for a meeting, I caught a few minutes of MSNBC as they were talking about the Debt Ceiling Talks. UGH! They were talking with Congressman Jim McDermott and he shared how long he had been in politics and the number of times he had personally seen the debt ceiling limit raised without hesitation. I’m paraphrasing but at the end of the day, he said they don’t want to see Obama succeed. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I have always known this, yet this morning IT STRUCK me really hard. Here we are in 2011 and they have MADE it about the President’s skin color. NEWSFLASH: President Obama is a combination of different ethnic backgrounds in case you have forgotten!

Yes, I said it because the bottom line is this – THE fact (not assumptions)that the debt ceiling limit has been raised before with previous Presidents numerous times without any threat – why this President and why now! These people within Congress were chosen by the people and what are they doing – acting like children who do not want to compromise because they can’t get their way! Instead they would rather harm senior citizens social security, financial aid for those students attending college and soldiers who are serving their country (risking their checks) because they don’t like the FACT that President Obama is doing some good for the United States of America. That’s just a few of the key items! May I remind, these dear Congressman (men and women) many which are not new to the White House that he INHERITED this debt, it didn’t occur overnight. Why act like children who would rather hinder the process instead of being ADULTS who know how to work together and compromise for the GREATER good!

Incidentally because this was what I saw this morning, this was the discussion my husband and I had this morning and throughout the day when it came to money! Why? Because many people are already dealing with the effects of the economy and if the White House can’t get it straight, some are losing all sense of hope for their own personal finances and marriages!

Not sure what Day 31 will bring – I will tell you this, do not get caught with your finances out of order from this day forward. It is not your place to depend on the government. Create your own bailouts and jobs!

As the month gets closer to ending what have we learned in the last week or two:

1) There will be some expenses that are unexpected. What is the best way to handle them? As the money manager do you make decisions alone or do you talk it over with your spouse? How do you present new financial expenses that may not have been planned? One of our unexpected expenses was two of the tires on my car had nails in them. One we took the car to the shop, then they were saying the battery, air filter and the list goes on. Do you bite the bullet and fix everything or do you put it on a planned schedule?

2) If a husband or wife has a business idea, do you listen to everything they have to say or do you just kill their dreams? My husband and I talked about my business quite a bit over the last few weeks and I’ve received better direction. Talking it out with him has also led to renewed excitement for what I am doing. It is always a “bonus” to be able to talk with someone who gets your passion.

3) What is your Plan B, C or D if you got tired of working for someone else? How would you get your bills paid? How would you achieve those financial goals that have been set for your marriage? It is not an idea to wait until you lose your job in order to decide what am I going to do now. It is not a good idea to make financial decisions AFTER your bride or groom catches you in an untruth! Preventative and preparation are key. I do some contract work and we know the contract is ending at a certain time. So we are already working several strategies to replace that income NOW – not when the contract ends!

I am excited to send out our first e-newsletter next Wednesday, Money in Marriage – be sure and sign up on our home page under Money in Marriage. You won’t get the newsletter if you don’t sign up. How important is your money and marriage to you?

This day was all about numbers – how many books do I order, updating my ledgers since I had some recent business expenses and preparing for a local event. I don’t mind dealing with the numbers because it allows me to see when progress has been made and the next steps to take. I was excited about ordering more books this morning because that sent a message that brides and grooms would be getting the help they needed as they prepare for money and marriage. I like knowing couples will not be one step closer to divorce court.

Updating the ledger is always fun. I get to see what hubby has been doing when it comes to his business and the status of payments he has made to vendors. There’s nothing like having a business, paying a vendor on time and the check sitting out there in the abyss for weeks if not even a couple of months. We’ve had a vendor contact us after 60 days saying they didn’t receive a check when in fact it was hand-delivered and lost on their end within 15 days of the invoice. You must always be paying attention to what is happening with your accounts even during the bill paying part.

Let’s face it when bills are paid late, that allows for extra fees to be added on. I encourage you to not wait until the last minute to pay any bill. Don’t pay unnecessary fees.

I was working on my book promotion today and it is always interesting how people will write you back and propose what they want to see happen for your promotion. I had the pleasure today of reminding people about the purpose behind what I am doing. I had fun sharing that message because it is a “BIGGER PICTURE” than what they were doing. Moving on to the next. Caution: Don’t get caught up in someone else’s idea of what you should be doing when you have more than likely done your research on your target, cost of marketing and INVESTED in yourself and your business. Doing the homework is key. Not acting on someone else’s excitement is better.

My husband’s weeding out strategy continues to prevail.

Be sure to sign up on our home page for our e-newsletter Money in Marriage. First one goes out next Wednesday.

Book purchases came in at the end of the day yesterday. This morning’s discussion was do I mail them in a box or padded envelope. Which was more cost efficient? Also whether or not I should order more books so that I’m not caught without any books when orders come in. Hubby and I had talked about a specific promotion that I was to implement this week. I did implement it and sales began coming in from this new target. We discussed it even down to the subject line. I had two specific ones and decided it to test each with two different lists so that I could see which one was more favorable.

I decided that I would use a padded envelope for the books instead of a box. Was more cost effective and I got two at that time so I wouldn’t have to go back to the store right away. Anticipating orders and preparing ahead of time is the key. This day was light on money conversation which as you have learned prior it is not a bad thing.

Let’s talk briefly about why our money conversation is light. My husband and I came to our marriage with our eyes open, checkbooks on the table and credit cards revealing the good, bad and ugly. We faced in the beginning of our marriage what some would consider the hardest part – being in the red financially at every turn. We were not losing sleep but were definitely fed up with creditors calling and feeling as if all we were doing was paying bills. When all you are doing is paying bills it doesn’t make for a good quality of life. There are days when you seem as if you may not get ahead or even ask yourself is it worth it.

Let me assure you that money challenges only last for a brief period of time. You have to own up to what you are dealing with when it comes to money issues and put a plan in place. For those of you reading this that may say, Eric and Taffy we are so overwhelmed we don’t know where to start. Now is the time to take action and get a clear picture. We provide couples counseling via telephone for those who are not local. You may even be able to discover some answers through the posts on the blog. There are a lot of answers here.

Go to www.moneytalkmatters.com and check the posts. You can type in a key word or secure your counseling session today.

What a very productive day. I woke up with a marketing plan in mind for one of my target audiences and vowed to remained focus no matter what. As a matter of fact when hubby came down to leave, I talked with him about what I was doing that day. He provided a strategy for me to utilize to weed out “tire kickers” or people who were not serious about impacting Marriages when it comes to my book, Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ. I loved it because this would alleviate me sending the book and nothing happening with it. Very important for me to get the book into the hands of those who are serious about helping marriages succeed.

This was a day of paying our twins their allowance and making some choices when it comes to business. How to invest – the amount, what vehicle would I use to accomplish some of the things my husband and I talked about over the weekend and moving forward. Such a GREAT concept to have a plan. Business owners do what you know needs to be done and don’t procrastinate! Make up your mind – what do you want to see happen and begin MAKING it happen.

Later that day, my research and new strategy begin paying off. Nothing like a little encouragement to show you, you are on the right path and continue. More and more will come on board that believe in what you are doing when they are somewhat connected in the same industry but not exact field. LOVE IT!

Money and Marriage Tip for Today:

1) Don’t give up on what you know will work! Trust and believe in yourself.

2) What does teamwork mean to you? A team is made up of more than one person.

3) Partnerships work! Do your research.

Money and Marriage Encouragement for Today:

Today focus on good thoughts and repeat : OUR marriage WILL succeed in the area of MONEY! We are a force not to be messed with.

Started out a little later this morning and even let the kids sleep in late. They loved it. We all felt refreshed before heading out to some meetings today. I got some bills from hubby via email from some of his clients prior to my leaving. This worked out fabulous since I was hoping that we would be able to get his vendors paid at the beginning of this week so he could do some other things. Check mark off the list.

The twins and I headed out and got three things crossed off our list as we headed to my meetings. Because I left late the day went faster. We were okay with that because we made the most of our time. We did my meetings, then went to my husband’s job to deliver those payments and we came home. I also knew that we had to go to the library today and check out our next round of DVD’s and they got to choose two videos each that they wanted. So much fun homeschooling with them and explaining the reason for different things and their asking questions. Same thing as a previous day, what you put into your children, you will get out. No one can love them and care for them like a parent.

When a husband and wife work together as a team, there is so much more that can be accomplished. My husband knows how passionate I am about helping marriages succeed because of money talk and skills. There is no reason that they should be ending in divorce because of money. I like sharing accomplishments with him from unexpected interviews to surprising book sales and more. Excitement is a GREAT thing and it shows that I’m working it as hard as I can. What I am doing is for my family! What will you do for yours? What will you do to ensure that your family is in tact? Has a good quality of life? Can impact others? It is up to you.

Stay tuned we only have a few more days.

Money and Marriage Lessons For Today:

1) Two heads are better than one!

2) What will you do to ensure your family is in tact? Don’t think about what society says. What do you say?

3) What will you pour into your children (if applicable) to let them know they have a purpose? What is your way of showing them love?

Money and Marriage Encouragement for Today:

Do not take your spouse for granted. Appreciate the similarities and the differences.

I know this will be somewhat unbelievable. I decided that I wouldn’t work today and hang out with the family. The kids were thrilled. We had breakfast and then hubby and I sat at our kitchen table talking business. Oh yea, when you are having fun being creative why stop the process. We were sharing different ideas about Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ that would get attention or different people we thought I should contact. It was loads of fun because the night before, prior to my shutting down my computer, I had started a list of contacts in one area and didn’t say anything about it to him. Consequently when we were talking earlier today, he was sharing what he thought I should say to this specific target! Confirmation is such a good thing!

I also shared with him how there are some online people that just want to complain in the area of money, yet they don’t really want the help. Also that I am getting better at weeding out the “tire kickers” as they say. Then we talked about how to phrase some of my courses. Talk about loving when a spouse is “ON POINT”. I could have took off running around our house. The ideas began racing in my mind.

From that discussion, I received tons of ideas for the bride and groom group and then other ideas for those already married. You better sign up for the newsletter if you don’t want to miss anything. You truly could get left behind when it comes to your money in marriage. Then I was reminded of a previous business that we had together and how we were speaking for a certain association for several years. All of the material we created, computer programs we bought and time we spent with many many families. What you put into yourself, your marriage, your children and business is what you get out!

We are big on weighing our investment. Another factor that is important to me is if I’m going to hire someone to help me, then they need to be able to do something that I can’t do. Otherwise I don’t need to pay them. We also discussed how we are believers in having a support system and what we thought I would need. Money has a role here too! Don’t limit yourself to say that it only does one thing. Let’s make it plain it can INCREASE your business or when you don’t have money, your business decreases.

Next up on our discussion was an update of the finances so he would know what was on this week’s agenda when it came to bill paying, investing in business and ourselves. This was a cool conversation especially when neither one of us had been doing any spending. The planning ahead for meals really work out. I had already planned the night prior what we would do with the kids today. BOWLING! They are fierce competitors and it would be bowling in the afternoon with slushies and french fries as a snack. I had already planned dinner.

Money and Marriage Lessons for Today

1) Stop and have time with the family. They are important. Work will always be there.

2) You cannot ever talk enough about your business with a spouse. The more you talk about it, clarity and ideas will come through when they are supportive.

3) Your business is worth investing in.

Money and Marriage Encouragement for Today:

Taking a break is a great way to rejuvenate and replenish your thoughts. Don’t overwork yourself to the point where you cannot be creative!

I so love days like today. I cooked the kids oatmeal pancakes for breakfast after our daughter prepared the batter. Then hubby and I sat down in the kitchen and went over the finances. I updated the ledgers this morning so that we could plan what the activities were he would be doing with the kids while I was working. We started out talking about business – Money Talk Matters and the engaged couples. One of the things that I did was review a previous business that he and I had done together. Shared with him what I learned from looking back at that business and what things I could institute in my new business. Knowing how well we work together and impact people, felt it best that we provide the counseling.

We also looked at when we worked with students and parents. It was a fun time, meeting with families in their homes. I was able to really provide some insight to him and said in that business this is what we had created and I know we can do that again with what I am doing. That business involved youth, parents and finances. I remember we had impacted over 400 families within the state of Colorado. We did a lot of traveling in those years and had lots of fun. Was very fulfilling.

We moved on and talked finances and planning vacation and business trips! Of course all of this works into homeschooling quite well. Whew! Listen if you do not invest in yourselves and your businesses no one else will. If you don’t believe in them, no one else will. We continued discussing businesses and what we want to do and see within Money Talk Matters. We even discussed how important it is to have a support system which we’ve always had – we talked about me expanding mine to some degree. You can’t be afraid to invest in yourself and take some chances.

Exciting times. I will be releasing information about upcoming events online and offline very soon. If you want to be notified then you should sign up on the home page of this site for information.

Money and Marriage Lessons for Today

1) Business owners – re-evaluate an old business and see what worked and what didn’t. Implement what you can for an existing business and see what happens.

2) When you are able to include a spouse and get feedback, it can make a big difference in your success and/or motivation.

3) Be sure and explain to your spouse your reasoning behind what you do when it comes to marital money, especially if you are the money manager. Think big picture – you want it to benefit everyone.

4) PRESENTATION is key in business and personal life.

Money and Marriage Encouragement for today:Money and Marriage talk is a lifestyle that can be achieved. It’s a choice – you either want your marriage to work or you don’t!

Meetings this morning. One project that I was working on came to a screeching halt this morning. That’s right I discovered a deal breaker and that was the end of it. Did I feel bad? No because it is important to always put your best foot forward in business and personal. What I love about the project I was working on is that it gave me some new ideas and really tapped into my creative side. For those of you that have been reading my stuff a while.. you know that I am a very creative person. Excitement remains in the air because I am on to something HUGE!

This day would be busy and I was already lined up for two conference calls. An interview regarding my latest book, Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ and a follow up call with a potential business owner that may carry my book. What an awesome day already in the works. When we are busy, I like to have our dinners planned. This night I had already planned we would have pasta and fish. There was no shopping needed because we went to the grocery store earlier in the week and got those few items that we were missing.

I spent a lot of time today doing research. Mind you research is one of my favorite things and I have to balance how much time I spend doing research. I could be in here with the computer in my lap and I be asleep. HAHA. I know some of you were laughing. Just when I think I wouldn’t be going to the store and was all set for the rest of the weekend. There comes a call from my mom and we began discussing granola bars, fiber bars, cereal and raisins. I think to myself wow, I was just doing some research on different grains and how healthy they were and some were not. After talking with her, I knew I would be going to the store later that evening. No biggie as I said before you cannot put a price tag on health!

Total spent this day was about $25.00 – woohooo. Have healthy snacks for the weekend and dinner was already planned for the weekend.

Money and Marriage Lesson for Today

1) Little spending adds up. I am always conscious and checking my ledger when we are spending. I don’t believe in being caught off guard by deductions. Paying attention (no pun intended) has helped me to catch when someone else had tapped into my account AND prevented identity theft.

2) Make sure your money is working for you and not against you. Taking care of our bodies extends our life. What will take care of your money do?

Money and Marriage Encouragement for Today:

Know your partner well enough to know what is important to him or her when it comes to finances and security.