Money Talk Matters – Premarital Financial Program

I wanted to take this time and share with you that during National Marriage Week as I was faciliating Money and Marriage Teleseminars, my husband and I were celebrating 14 wonderful years of marriage. We came into our marriage with our eyes open. What do I mean by that?

We both came into our marriage with debt and disclosed that information fully to each other. We knew that we had made mistakes and did not judge each other, yet we let that catapult our relationship into a STRONG and FORMIDABLE team. How many of you have heard… A THREEFOLD CORD is NOT EASILY BROKEN! Amen!

When we talked about getting married, my mindset was I do not want to incur anymore debt for a wedding. Sure it was my first and only marriage; however knowing what I knew about the existing debt, I was not of the mind to create more. I WANTED to be OUT OF DEBT and so did he. So we agreed on a Justice of the Peace ceremony. Our family was not in town and I am not big on crowds.

We got married and paid for everything we needed in cash and were still able to continue with life. What did we do about the DEBT? We established a five year plan to pay it off that we could live with. Bless GOD – we did it in two and a half years WITHOUT filing bankruptcy, WITHOUT buying and selling houses – WE WORKED the PLAN. So when I talk to you about Money and Marriage – Telling you first hand experience.

Remember each one of us came to our marriage with debt – things that we did in our past without the other person yet we had to handle the ramifications of those choices we made separately together. What did those things include include….effects of bankruptcy, creditor calls, restoration from being homeless, not having a bank account, not being able to or comfortable talking with family about money issues, not comfortable enough to talk with anyone in our church, let alone our friends, challenges in our Faith and much more.

As we celebrated our 14 years of Marital Happiness, Love, Family and LASTING when others thought we would not make it – our twins were celebrating with us. They simply adore their example of marriage, love and happiness. We make sure and create memories for them that they will never forget. They do the same for us.

So for those of you that are engaged, newly married and married for many years, keep on pressing on and HAVE A PLAN. Even at 14 years we have plans that are short-term and long-term. We have fun making them as well as making them a reality and going beyond them.

To my Hubby, thank you my Love for who you are, whose you are and all that you are becoming. Thank you for 14 years of trials & triumphs, happy times and sad times, the ever growing TESTIMONY that our Marriage and Family is.

Listen – BRIDES, GROOMS, PARENTS - what will it take for people to realize that money is such an important topic that needs to be addressed before walking down the aisle. Obviously this man did not know his bride enough to know that she would BECOME a DIFFERENT person because of money.

If you are in the process of getting married and you have not talked about money - CAUTION – what could possibly happen if you reveal after the wedding that you have DEBT? Do not set yourself nor your future spouse up like that. It is not fair to either one of you. Do not rush yourself. If having this discussion means you do not end up getting married then you are probably better off. Money discussions are not to be taken lightly nor ignored.

You must read this story – this husband says, he assumes her motive was money. Judge grants bail for Boynton Beach wannabe…

Before you think so little about discussing money – bride or groom – think enough of yourself to ask the question. Parents – LOVE your son or daughter more than enough to give them Financial skills for marriage. Go to www.DebtAtTheAltar.com and get Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar.

June is the beginning of “Wedding Season” and excitement is in the air for so many. Wedding dresses, bridal showers, bachelor parties all leading up to the moment you are standing before each other with a room full of people watching getting ready to take your vows.

Both of you wil say “I Do” and the officiant will say, I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Pictures will be taken and the reception will be in full swing. The next thoughts will be of the honeymoon. Within two weeks of the honeymoon it starts… you begin seeing bills and more bills coming in the mail that you didn’t know about.

You feel puzzled but then discover within your marriage there exists hidden debt. Whether you are the bride or groom, when hidden debt is revealed it is time for MONEY TALK now. Before you even think you want to point the finger, let me caution you. If you chose not to discuss money prior to saying “I Do”, both of you are to blame.

Money Talk is a conversation that continues throughout the course of marriage. It is not a one time discussion. Now that both of you are aware there is hidden debt, the following are steps you can take to begin the conversation:

Step 1: Both of you need to forgive each other for not talking about existing financial obligations prior to saying ” I Do.”

Step 2: Agree that you will be honest and share about your existing financial obligations and not judge each other for choices that you made before you became husband and wife, although both of you will have to agree on how to handle it.

Step 3: Each person takes a turn and share what their financial obligations are independent of each other.

Do not be the bride or groom who decides because hidden debt is now revealed you want to bailout. That is not the answer. If you would like assistance with learning how to talk, send me an email. Let’s talk.