Posts Tagged ‘boyfriend’

postheadericon Lessons from Legally Blonde 1

Of course as I was trying to call it a night, one of my all time favorite movies was coming on – Legally Blonde. What’s a girl to do, turn in or sit up, watch it and share financial lessons on the blog. Hmmm, since you are reading this you know what I chose.

At the beginning the character Elle is expecting her boyfriend Warner to propose to her tonight. She goes with her friends and chooses a dress that she will wear. They go to dinner and he wants to discuss their future. She is sooo prepared for him to ask her and since he is going to Harvard, says his family’s expecting a lot from him and Harvard’s going to be hard.

Here comes the line, that’s why Elle, Poo bear, I think its time for us to.. she says I accept and he says break up. His bottomline is if he is going to be a senator he needs to confirm to what his family will approve of. WOW! He tells her he needs a Jackie and not like he has a choice. She walks out.

I wonder right now, how many relationships have ended because a family member did not approve. Don’t get me wrong – when many people are telling the bride or groom they should not marry a certain person – yes, they should be listening. However, when a family is degrading their son or daughter’s choice because they are not who they would choose — what I say to the son or daughter is this… you know who you love, will be with you through thick and thin regardless of easy or difficult times. You are the one that has to live with this person at the end of the day not your family. Make sure you know who you love, like and why.

Another lesson from this movie was that Elle decided that she would attempt to become the person that would go to Harvard. She studies with her sorority group for the LSATs and she gets into Harvard. Of course Warner was stunned to see her on campus.

Lesson: Be true to who you are and not try to conform to someone’s opinion of you. That will only lasts so long.

Come back tomorrow as we discuss more lessons.

postheadericon Loan a Boyfriend money, Marry and Divorce Court

How many times have you watched divorce court and saw where they started out as boyfriend and girlfriend, she really loved him so when he asked her to borrow some money or co-sign on a loan she did it. They had an agreement that the money would be paid back. Because she loved him sooo much, she decided to marry him even though he did not pay back one dime from the loan.

Maybe that was his intention all along to get money from her and then marry her so she would forget about the loan. Then she decided to stick by her man and married him. The relationship was going along so, so and then he starts coming home later and later. Sometimes it would not be until the next morning. Granted he is not working. So what is he doing?

After seven or eight months, the wife grows tired of this routine and decides to get divorce. I’ve seen the episode on Divorce Court, haven’t you. The first thing she says is he owes me some money. The Judge generally asks if there was anything in writing. Once she hears all of the details, she comments didn’t you see the signs. You do not need to be married to him anyway.

If you are loaning money while you are dating, you need to find out the entire financial picture before you think about marriage. If you find out something you cannot handle or live with, then maybe you should not walk down the aisle.

postheadericon Marriage and Money Movie #25 – Guess Who

I had to watch this movie a second time to make sure it fit the marriage and money movie reviews. I am sooooo glad I did because it was a great addition. This movie had various dynamics that I am going to point out that can benefit so many on different levels. Take your time when you are reading these reviews because if you can think back to the movie, you can see these different points of view.

Without giving too much away this movie dealt with an affluent family, race, unemployment, lies, and money. One of my favorite actors that I got to see in person and truly miss that was in the movie – the late Bernie Mac. Ashton Kutcher was also in this movie.

Ashton plays Simon in this movie and has become engaged to Bernie’s (Percy) daughter – Teresa. Simon and Teresa are going to her parents for the weekend to celebrate their 25th anniversary. She has not told her parents that he is white. Percy has pulled Simon’s credit report and is pleased with what he sees. When they arrive, Percy mistakes the cab driver, who is black for his daughter, Teresa’s boyfriend. Then when Simon introduces himself as her boyfriend, Percy is taken shocked. Percy looks around to see if anyone sees Simon standing in the yard and says we need to go inside. Then he begins in on Simon with the 20 questions. He is very suspicious of simon.

Percy later asks his wife, why didn’t the daughter tell them he was white. Wife admits she had figured it out. Simon begins contacting old friends and colleagues to see if he can get a job before anyone discovers he does not have a job. Percy does not like him from the start and wants to take him to a hotel.

Money Implications:

Do not hide your financial background from your soon to be spouse. When the truth is revealed it could divide and destroy your relationship and marriage. There is nothing wrong with putting your cards on the table to ensure the one you love knows you are not attempting to keep secrets, especially financial secrets.

Do not lie about your employment situation. You can only pretend so much and it will catch up with you.

Money Tip #1: If you love someone, love them regardless of income.

Money Tip #2: For parents, do not make your grown son or daughter feel as if their choices are wrong when it comes to a mate without talking with your future son or daughter-in-law.

Money Tip #3: Do not prejudge a person based on the color of their skin. That type of discrimination affects a person as a whole which includes their work performance.

Money Tip #4: Parents should be knowledgeable of how their future son or daughter-in-law handle different financial situations.

Observations:

When it comes to love, race should not matter. Your heart does not discriminate – love who you love and enjoy life.

Do not lie about your employment because it will affect the entire household. Once you say “I Do”, all situations (employment, education, financial and more) affect the household.

If you start out lying to your future spouse, you will slip up and the relationship could begin to deteriorate.

Recommendations:

1) Be honest and proud of your soon-to-be spouse. You are the one that has to live with the person and make joint decisions. You should not be embarrassed about this person or anything.

2) Know that when you enter into a marriage and it is different races, you can get the looks and even some comments – do not address people’s ignorance. Love the one you are with because they love you. You don’t have to impress anyone.

3) Talk WITH each other versus AT each other. The power of speech also affects your finances, ability to work effectively and efficiently whether you work for someone else or have your own business.

4) When you are building a relationship with your in-laws, it takes time. Build the relationship without passing judgment. This is your soon-to-be spouse’s parents.

5) Before you borrow money from parents or in-laws, know up front that a lot can happen from that i.e. change in the relationship, parents watching how you spend (they may think you are wasting their money) money and more. Make sure everyone understands whether it is a gift or a loan.

postheadericon Financial Skills prior to Baby

As I was reading through different stories, this one caught my attention Money Before Baby. Based on the title alone, let’s be honest readers I am sure you know how this story goes. Woman has a girlfriend who is married and is pregnant. She’s happy, yet she cries. Her biological clock is ticking and she is dating someone who she would consider marrying but is not married yet.

To top it off, finances are mess and so she is not ready by any means to start a family. Does it have to be this way, of course not? It does not have to take the biological clock ticking in order to get your finances in order either. That is something that should be or should have been happening all along.

Now you have begun to think about it and are putting yourself in the place of making more mistakes if you base making these choices on biological clock, OB-Gyn is saying this, looking at your ages. There are consequences to all these decisions. I would say focus on getting your finances in order and begin talking more about the finances.

Actually maybe even before talking about the finances is discussing where your relationship is headed. There should be order to every relationship and decisions made. Next focus on the finances and establishing mutual financial goals. If you bring a baby into a relationship without marriage and financial problems… there could very well be more problems.

Do not be over anxious and make hasty decisions because your married girlfriends are having babies.

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