Posts Tagged ‘brides and grooms’
We’ve all heard that it is tradition for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding. Should this continue to be the tradition with the affects of the economy? Let’s be real, the economy has affected everyone of all ages, married, unmarried and even divorced. Are brides and grooms holding their parents to tradition even if their parents are not in a position to pay for their wedding?
What should be done? Does the couples age matter and is a factor in whether the parents pay or not? Have the parents even said whether or not they can pay? All of these questions and more need to be thought about in this time especially when it comes to the wedding? More important than the wedding is the bride and groom’s marriage and are they equipped with life skills to survive various challenges they may face once they are married.
What if the parents are saying they can contribute only 20% towards the wedding? Should the couple be receptive or should they attempt to make their parents go over their budget? Weigh in and share your thoughts.
Been really busy and now have the time to get back on the blog to write. OOOH must catch up. I began my morning by reading various articles and came across this article that was on the NYTimes.com website titled The Burden of Paying for Wedding Bells Shift.
I had to stop and read it because first it says “The Burden” which the word burden is generally perceived in a negative fashion. Burden means load, obligation carried. We all know that times have changed from the Parents of the Bride paying for the wedding alone and more brides and grooms are having to “foot their own bill”.
Why not think beyond the wedding day and consider the following:
(1) The wedding is for one day and how much “debt” are you willing to incur that you could be paying on for years to come. That does not mean you shouldn’t have a wedding, that means you should be honest about your financial situation.
(2) Do you want to start out your marriage with financial stress and strain from wedding debt instead of having fun nurturing your marriage, starting that new chapter in your lives?
(3) How many couples do you personally know that are fighting about their financial situation shortly after their wedding day?
These are just initial questions you should think about. I read in the article where this one young lady was receiving $125,000 from both sides and I couldn’t help but think why not put that money towards a downpayment on a starter house, pay off student loans, etc instead of putting that towards “ONE DAY”!
Recommendation: Do not let your wedding day plans and costs be a burden that you regret for years to come.
Read the article and share your thoughts!
Brides if your fiance is bad with money, now is the time to talk with him and plan for your financial foundation during your marriage. It is a GREAT thing that you are finding out this information prior to your walking down the aisle. You may be puzzled as to why! Because there are so many brides and grooms that are not even discussing money before marriage and then they become mad when they find out that the money is not right or the other person has debt.
The biggest expense of marriage is DIVORCE. While you are seeing that your fiance is bad with money, why not take steps together to correct his financial mistakes and any financial mistakes that you have made. While you are putting it out there that he is bad with money, what about you? Is your financial background spotless? If not, then I suggest you share with him as well what your financial background is so that you are starting from a place of everyone’s financial cards being on the table.
It is not fair if you do not share with him and you know in the back of your mind, you have made mistakes too. Even if you have not made mistakes, share with him how you handle money so that it can enlighten him on how you make financial decisions as well as what you base those decisions on.
After you have shared how you handle money, the two of you should look at what his plans are to clean up his financial situation. Establish goals that are achievable and realistic. He needs to be able to take some steps to correct his financial picture. That may or may not necessarily involve you. What you can do is to talk with him on a regular basis and see what progress he has made. This will let him know you are not just going to have a one time discussion and drop it. Encourage him to pursue financial relief in his own life.
I know that many brides and grooms have gotten creative because of what is happenign with the economy. I read a story today that is titled Bride’s Offer to Barter turns into $75,000 wedding for free. I tell you what I like this story, why you ask? Let me tell you it says to me that she is not going to overspend nor by on the spur of the moment just because she wants something. She will take her time and shop around.
This bride posted on Craigslist she didn’t have the money for her wedding but would barter services if anyone could help her out. People stepped up to the plate and helped make her wedding dream come true. It would be interesting to see how she manages money for their marriage. I say that because she did not have money for a wedding. You know the saying, where there is a will, there is a way. Well this bride has truly seen that come true.
When it comes to marriage, money is an important part of marriage. I hope that this bride and groom are already discussing money and how to manage it for their marriage beyond this glorious wedding day they just had.
What are your thoughts about bartering for a wedding?
When my husband and I became engaged, we knew that we were destined to be together. Throughout our dating we had been talking about our past, previous people we dated, my husband’s previous marriages and what we were looking for in a partner. The discussion came up about whether or not, we needed to go to premarital counseling.
Brides and Grooms, I ask you today – what are your goals for premarital counseling? Look at the options below and you decide:
(1) To ensure you and your future spouse have the necessary skills to make your marriage work for a lifetime?
(2) Is it because everyone says you have to yet your heart is not in it?
(3) It is required by the church you attend to be married there?
What areas do you expect to discuss in premarital counseling? Compatibility, Communication, Goals or even finances? If you discuss those issues, how much time do you expect to spend talking about each?
Premarital counseling can be crucial to any relationship. I know that my husband and I did not attend premarital counseling because we were talking about everything even prior to our engagement. We had shared the positives and negatives about relationships we had, financial mistakes we made and what we looked for in a mate. We did not see a benefit to holding anything back.
One of the things I remember saying to him, was do not let anyone have information about you that I do not know about. No one should walk up to me and tell me something about my husband trying to embarrass me or say I know something you don’t know. I don’t believe in MESS or DRAMA. He did not either.
Prior to marriage is a great time to talk about your finances, dreams and goals that you have. The more you talk you will discover this is someone ou can see yourself with for life or you cannot. Begin talking today.