Posts Tagged ‘brides’

postheadericon Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ

I know it has been a minute since I’ve written on this blog and I have a very good reason. I recently released my ground-breaking new book, Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ. Let’s face it money is still the top reason for divorce for many reasons. I am on a mission to make sure that money talk is one of the reasons marriages are succeeding. I believe if couples start out communicating about money during their engagement, then they will continue having those talks throughout the marriage. It won’t be uncomfortable because they haven’t done it.

Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ answers over 70 questions for brides and grooms when it comes to money. It is has more of a conversation tone and engages the reader. It is not a book that blames anyone when it comes to money instead provides direction on how certain issues can be handled. Believe me, I know the topic of money can be overwhelming especially when there are financial challenges. Somehow people’s personalities change when there are financial issues and couples begin blaming each other instead of stopping, taking a deep breath and becoming solution oriented.

I believe one of couples biggest challenges is their problem solving skills when it comes to money. Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ is going to help change that. Grab your copy or get it as a gift for an engaged couple you know at www.brideandgroommoneytalk.com

postheadericon Mothers of Brides-to-Be

Seeking Mothers of Brides-to-Be for interviews regarding money and marriage. Whether your daughter is getting married in a few weeks, several months or even in a year, you are welcome to be interviewed.

Let’s talk financial tips you would share with your daughter or best friend’s daughter. It’s time for your voice to be heard.

Interviews will be used for podcast beginning Mid-January and those that are local (Denver), there will be an opportunity for video interview as well.

Interviews will be ongoing, get scheduled now!

If interested, send an email to drtaffy@moneytalkmatters.com .

postheadericon Til Prenup Do We Part

Brides-to-be and grooms are preparing for their wedding. One comes from a wealthy family and next thing that happens, the groom is presented with a prenuptial agreement. The parents like the groom but say to the bride, before you walk down the aisle to marry this man; we want to protect your assets and what we have left you. We are not saying you cannot marry him, BUT you must have a prenuptial agreement in place.

Is it the parent’s place to demand the son or daughter have a prenuptial agreement? Or should the son or daughter be wise enough to know to have a prenup? Or is their relationship based on love and they are not concerned about this type of agreement? Who should be using a prenup and does it set you up for divorce?

Let’s be realistic, there are some parents who will demand explicitly their son or daughter have a prenuptial agreement in place before they marry their fiancé AND they will not move from this place. They are not saying they do not love that fiancé; however, the reason behind their wanting a prenuptial agreement because some parents have accumulated wealth, are funding trusts for their children or possibly handing over interest in family business to their children and want to ensure children’s financial interests are protected.

There are also the circumstances where there are children from a previous marriage and property that should be handed down should be protected. Furthermore, it can be used to protect the future spouse from debt. Utilizing a prenuptial agreement does not say that you are planning for your marriage to end in divorce. There are different circumstances which warrant a prenup and some circumstances that do not.

As a bride or groom, if you are presented with a prenuptial agreement and you are not a professional athlete, celebrity or even if your family does not come from wealth, there are several factors you should consider before signing this document:

1) How were you presented with the prenuptial agreement? Did you receive this document within weeks of the marriage or were you given the prenuptial agreement at least several months prior to the wedding? The timing of the document can say a lot about your future spouse. Did your future spouse hope that you were so in love with him or her that you would just sign the document and not read it? Once you read the document will you discover that you get nothing? What will you think about this person that you thought you knew so well?

2) You should consult with your own lawyer to review this document in its entirety and ask if there are clauses that need to be adjusted on the basis of fairness. It is important to make sure that it is fair on behalf of the husband and the wife.

I remember a few years ago, a friend was saying she had been presented with a prenuptial agreement and it was one-sided. This friend could not reach an agreement with her future spouse when it came to the prenuptial agreement and they ended up not getting married. Understand just like that situation, you could begin to see the true person when a prenuptial agreement is involved and even moreso if it involves money. Money tends to make people behave out of character or it is their true character.

We all know that money is a hard topic to talk about. One thing is for sure, if you are presented with a prenuptial agreement the discussion is being put on the table whether you like it or not. Does that mean a prenuptial agreement is a bad thing for you? Not necessarily. There are circumstances that call for a prenuptial and there are times when people are using it unnecessarily and causing strife. Either way, it is important that brides and grooms do their research prior to signing a prenuptial agreement. I don’t advocate signing it because you know they love you without doing your due diligence. The message behind a prenuptial agreement may be the opposite of what you thought.

Recommended Reading:

Brides and grooms dealing with money matters prior to marriage:
http://www.moneytalkmatters.com/2009/11/30/engaged-couples-dealing-with-money-matters/

For more information regading prenuptial agreements, visit the link:
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/article-29569.html

postheadericon Royal Wedding called off because….

Brides and grooms to be need to pay attention while they are engaged to obvious situations that are red flags that should not be ignored instead of being caught up in “I’m So in Love I will deny what’s in front of me”. I was doing some research and came across this titled Royal Wedding called off amid cheating claims

The Princess chose to call off the wedding because “HER” future groom was “intimate” with a college student. I must say it sends a message that she is not willing to settle, nor overlook the indiscretion. What you accept during the engagement says it is okay once you are married. Therefore, she clearly sent a message by breaking it off.

Both Brides-to-be and grooms-to-be must pay attention. Yes, when dating and even during engagement people will put their best foot foward and that is a good thing. You must also listen to what they say and watch their behavior. Non-verbal cues can also give you insight into what they say and do.

postheadericon Interview on Weddingdetails.com

Engaged Couples, Brides and even Newlyweds

For some of you, there are only a few months until your wedding day happens. Take the time to listen to this candid interview with Weddingdetails.com about Money and Marriage.

How do you begin the talk?
What are some of the red flags?
Hasn’t money always been a part of marriage and much more..

Take the time to listen and leave your comments here at Moneytalkmatters.com

http://www.vertio.net/player/play.php?id=1943

postheadericon Don’t be Blinded by Love

Brides and Grooms: This morning I decided to write this post and say Don’t be blinded by love and miss the financial issues that are staring you in the face. If you are engaged to a person and you see financial issues presenting themself but you because you are so in love you do not ask questions, you are literally setting yourself up for financial conflict later.

Yes, financial conflict because there will come a time when you cannot ignore it anymore and want some answers. If you are marrying your best friend, the person that you can talk to about anything then when financial concerns enter your thoughts, take the time to stop and ask the questions.

Maybe the person does not realize they are on this course of financial destruction. Your asking the question could make them stop and say wow, I did not think that is what I was doing.  Furthermore, if you can begin communicating now about money while you are engaged it makes it that much easier to communicate about money in your marriage.

You should not wait until you have a financial challenge to discuss money. Money in marriage is an ongoing discussion not a one time and it is all good discussion. Do not set yourself up like that.

For those of you that are young and getting married, pay attention and do not think you cannot or should not ask the questions. You do not have to be a part of the “norm” that does not talk about money prior to marriage. Step outside of the box and begin talking today.

postheadericon Engagements during Thanksgiving leading to Low Cost Discussions

I wonder how many couples got engaged during Thanksgiving where now either the bride-to-be or groom is looking to cut costs already for the pending wedding. I think I saw a tweet where a groom was looking for ways to reduce costs. It truly is amazing to me, how crafty the brides and grooms get at ways to reduce costs, expenses for the wedding day and might not have had one discussion about money for their marriage.

Sure, it is all good to reduce costs where you can. Wouldn’t it be even better or like icing on the cake to know your marriage could handle financial challenges that might present themselves based on discussions you have had and continue to have during the engagment.

Since this is the beginning, pay close attention to how both of you handle money, talk about money as well as what you agree and or disagree on when it comes to money. Time will tell if you can handle it or not.

postheadericon Fiance does not make any money

Brides – if your fiance does not make any money, how are you going to handle that? In everything you do, you must have a plan whether it be education, career, purchasing a car, buying a house and even getting married. Each of these areas involve money and it is not wise to make decisions with your eyes closed.

Financial decisions have long lasting effects if made carelessly. So if you are engaged at this point and your fiance does not make any money, let me provide some “food for thought”. Hold on to your seat because that does not mean I am going to say break off the engagement. Continue reading below.

Questions to ask yourself if your fiance does not make any money. Make sure you can answer these questions based on your own observations of him, by talking with him and what you know is true:

1) Is your fiance a hardworker, but poor at managing money?

2) Does he feel that he should not have to work, but think things should just be given to him?

3) Does he have bills?

4) When you and your fiance go out, who pays for dinner, movies or whatever the activity is?

5) If your fiance does not work, what was his last job and why did he quit?

6) Does he want to start his own business?

7) How are the wedding expenses being handled?

8) After the wedding, where do you and your fiance plan to live?

9) Does your fiance have dreams and goals for himself?

10) What does your fiance’s credit report look like?

11) Was he married before, if so was money one of the reasons the marriage ended?

Brides, when you take a trip and you plan on driving you have a map and you map out your course. If you are like me, you map it out in complete detail even to where your gas stops will occur. When you are planning on getting married to someone that you are going to share your life with, it should not be any different. Take the time and get these questions answered. Do not ignore the fact that his not making any money is bothering you.

PLEASE PLEASE pay attention to the little red flag that is raised. It should bother you and that means it is worth discussing and not being swept under the rug. If it is necessary – get Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar financial education program which teaches couples how to communicate about money in a non-threatening manner.

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postheadericon Savers and Spenders Marry all the Time

The topic of savers and spenders marrying continue to be a hot topic. I know firsthand that this is true even of my own marriage. I read an article a couple of days ago that was titled Why Savers and Spenders Marry . The author shares how her husband started a new job teaching in the fall and suggested he might need some new work clothes. She braced herself for a fight. To her surprise – she calls him Mr. Frugal, he agreed with her.

I know when I met my husband, he was a shopper to his heart. Believe me when I say shopper, I mean it seriously. One of the first things he asked me was to write down all of my sizes – clothes, shoes and jewelry. I must say this floored me because that had not ever happened. Mind you I did what he asked. Once we got married, he would shop for me. This was great because I HATE shopping. I love to shop for books (I am an avid reader) but not clothes. I don’t do Christmas shopping like most. I have to make my list of what I want, where it is at. Go in, purchase it and come out.

Okay, back to the post – so when we got married we agreed on a plan to clean up our debt. Within our plan we also decided to balance his spending and he agreed. So we established healthy boundaries in money management. So the shopper became conservative and saving.  I believe that in every saver and spender their is a part of the other perspective in each. It just depends on what you would purchase. Because I turn into a shopper when it comes to books, however, for anything else I am a saver.

Husbands and wives, brides and grooms  – open communciation and being honest about who you are is essential. If you are a shopper, you are a shopper. If you are a saver, you are a saver. Do not let that role cause you to live an unhappy marriage and life. Work together for common goals in the financial aspect of your marriage.

postheadericon Financial Baggage enters the Marriage

Brides, Grooms, Husbands and Wives take a note. When you enter into marriage realize that prior to your saying I do, you had a life outside of your mate. That life included making financial decisions that were good and some financial decisions that might have been not as good. The money mistakes are a part of you if you chose not to clean them up prior to marriage and are a part of your marriage.

They are a part of your marriage because you will think about them. Once your spouse finds out about them voluntarily or involuntarily is entirely up to you. The result can be different. The question I ask you today is this: Could the financial baggage that is surfacing in your relationship becoming detrimental to the welfare of your union? If so, then what are the steps that you are taking to remove the baggage.

Baggage in itself is not a good thing. Usually tied to baggage of any nature is emotions which leads people to act hastily without thinking about all of the consequences.  Remember, every decision you make has a consequence. Take a few minutes to think long term and not short-term when it comes to your decisions.

The only time that I know of that baggage is good is if it is luggage and you are taking a much deserved vacation. Otherwise financial baggage is not good, revisiting old girlfriends or boyfriend baggage is not good and even previous employment situations that had baggage is not good. It is time to have a clear picture of what you want and where you want your finances and marriage to go.

With that in mind, quit living your past in the present. Live the PRESENT now and take care of NOW, TODAY and the future will take care of itself. This is not a time to keep looking behind you or you will miss opportunities in your present to get your finances in order, to impact your marriage for a lifetime and much more. Sure, it could be thought of as “Not the Norm” – it’s about time. Going along with the norm has ended marriages, caused separations and stopped people from talking about money in marriage. It is a New Day and time for New Financial Beginnings and Plans.

Don’t ignore the baggage.  Baggage  can overtake you or be overwhelming to your spouse. Talk with your spouse today, develop a plan to remove it and BEGIN removing it. You can talk about things all day BUT until you take action it’s just TALK.  JUST DO IT! BE IT!

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