Posts Tagged ‘buying’
Last time I left you with the thought of if you were depending on God or your mate when it came to finances. I also said what is causing the divorce is deeper than money. We reference money as one of the top reasons for divorce but as I said before, money in itself cannot do anything.
When couples are arguing about money, they are arguing about 1) its mishandling – overspending and impulse buying which results in not having enough to pay bills or for other necessities; 2) an individual’s value system when it comes to money. Value system meaning your beliefs about how money should be handled, who should handle the money and what takes precedence when it comes to expenditures in the household. Value system is comprised of many factors especially when it comes to money – your environment, what you saw and experienced when you were growing up regarding money, your personal handling of money good and bad. All of these factors form your value system. So when your value system is challenged you react or respond a certain way.
Value system is big – so let me put it into perspective. For example, as a person that was raised by a single parent with little to no access to money, it would be within my value system to be very cautious about money, paying bills and making sure there is some left over. So it would not “feel good” to me to buy on impulse. Now from Married Christians perspective if you know that you are to pay your bills and you spend impulsively on a want versus a need and now you cannot pay your bills – the discussion is happening in a way you might not like.
So Married Christians may be divorcing and utilizing money as the reason but it is not the reason it is their value system being challenged. They have had enough. Money issues affect more than the husband or the wife, it affects their relationship, performance at work, if they have children (them as well), household bills and more.
Before you decide to file for divorce, think things through and be honest. Think about your actions when it comes to money and marriage – 1) What role did you play in this area that you believe has failed and 2) Did you have structure when it came to finances? Begin talking it out with each other to each other about money to see what you can do to make better decisions to sustain the marriage and time invested in each other than versus throwing away this union.
CAUTION: Do not wait until you are in Divorce court to find out about each other’s financial habits.
Ladies, I was sitting here reviewing and thinking back to when I was younger and some of the different women that came across my path and what they did when it came to men. Lo and behold, that is where the title of this post came from. There are women who are spending their money on a man to keep him interested when they know he is not faithful nor committed to their relationship. In their mind, they were seriously dating and not far from walking down the aisle, when he is far from it.
For the woman that is reading this and it fits you, stop now! Do not spend another dime on this man. He is not the one for you no matter how good you think you are for him. You cannot buy love because love is not for sale. It is not an emotion it is a choice. Furthermore, if you have a person that is not being faithful when you are dating, what makes you think he will be faithful once you are married? Just a thought!
Do not ignore what is happening right in front of you. If you do and force a relationship that is not supposed to happen, you are potentially in for heart ache down the road that could have been avoided. Buying toys and trinkets does not solidify your relationship what it does it cause you to be taken advantage of.
Think about it. How many women do you know that have tried to buy a man with gifts, even giving him money, etc? What was the end result? Stop today if this is you. Don’t put yourself in a financial hole for someone that is probably not going to be around much longer.
OOOH, I know this is a hot topic. Every marriage has a shopper and a saver and it can be quite the challenge initially to overcome impulse buying. You are window shopping and you hear those stores calling your name. Kind of like that young lady in Confessions of a Shopaholic – the intensions were good but weakness got the better of her.
When you are married and it is “OUR MONEY” and no longer “Your Money” it is a great thing to learn how to overcome impulse buying. So let’s look at the Pros and Cons of impulse buying which should really bring it home that you need to get it under control.
Understand I am writing this as if I was in my husband’s mind who is the shopper in our family.
Pro side to Impulse Buying
Get the item you want right then
If there is only one left, you do not miss out
Certain satisfaction of being able to do buy it because you can without having to save up for it
Con side to Impulse Buying
Spending money or charging money that you do not have
Buying it today and then realizing the next day it is not exactly what you wanted
Understand there are different types of impulse buying such as this:
If you are impulse buying just for the sake of buying because it is a WANT and not a NEED. Then two days later you are asking yourself, why did you even purchase that.
If you are impulse buying because it is something you really need, have the money and it does not stop you from paying your bills.
Steps to Overcome Impulse Buying:
Remove the peer pressure if you feel pressured when with your friends.
Establish healthy financial boundaries and stick to it no matter the environment.
Leave the credit cards at home and take minimal cash with you when you go to the mall.
Do not fall for the credit card application and you will get this or that gift or discount. Go to the store and purchase what you went there for and leave the rest of it behind.
Impulse buying can lead to secrets about financial expenditures when revealed can divide and destroy a marriage. Get the impulse buying under control today.
This is one of those topics that I have heard from students firsthand when I have had exhibit booths at different events. When I saw this story in the Wall Street Journal, there was no way I was going to pass it up. The title is Students Borrow More Than Ever for College.
I completely understand why they are borrowing because they want to attain an education. However, the problem is not knowing all of the consequences of having all of these student loans. For example, I remember talking with one student and they expressed that the amount of money they spent on their education, once they got a job it would take five to ten years to pay off their student loan based on what they were making at the job they got after graduating from college.
The article shares “The ripple effects for today’s heavily indebted young people are becoming palpable. A growing body of research suggests that tough loan payments are affecting major life decisions by recent graduates, forcing them to put off traditional milestones—from buying a first home to even marriage and having children.” It is on doubt that having this huge debt looming over their future would have them putting off marriage and having children because that in itself is an expense.
Before that son or daughter who has student loans get married, I encourage you to provide them with financial skills or a financial literacy program such as Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar which teaches them how to talk about money throughout the lifetime of their marriage. This program they can use on their own before they even get married.
There may be times when people look at the rich and famous and think they are not held accountable for bad decisions they make. Well, hold on to your seat because the rich and famous face consequences just like everyone else for their bad financial decisions like everyone else.
Choices always have consequences whether good or bad. Whether it is finances, employment, business, health etc… there is always a consequence for the CHOICES we make. I would venture to say that most of the time – nothing just happens to us we make choices that result in a certain consequence. Don’t take this as a negative because it is not meant to be that way. It is to show you that YOU are in CONTROL.
When I read this story about Celebrities Financial Blunders, I wanted to share it. Just because you have the rich and famous does not mean they are immune. Listen, financial issues, debt nor taxes discriminate based on race, sex, color, creed nor religion. It is soooo equal opportunity. It does not matter who your mother, father, cousin is nor where you are employed.
Before you make that next financial decision, think about the big picture – what would the consequence be – short-term and long-term as well as who does it affect? Consider are you buying too much house which could result in foreclosure or investing in a risky stock? Or did you research your investment advisor?
Interestingly enough I was thinking about writing a post on cash versus credit when I was asked this very thing on twitter last week. Therefore, I know “ears and eyes” are waiting on this response.
Everyone in some capacity knows about the “wrath” of Credit. There comes a point when every consumer must ask themselves which is better for me right now – Cash or Credit? Let me say right now, that regardless of what the economy is doing, cash should be the first choice. Cash because when you make a purchase – you own it. There is no interest, no chance at make a late payment and incurring other debt.
Cash says that you have established your ground rules for your household. That regardless you will stay within your boundaries and not incur debt.
When you Buy on CREDIT below is what begins to happen:
1) The message is sent saying I am going to have that job to pay this bill in the future. Hmmm is this true or false?
2) The door to financial stress in the household is now open. Let me explain even more. Debt does not generally occur overnight. All the small charges add up over time and become unmanageable when we use one or more credit cards. That is when financial stress and strain creep in.
3) Whether single or married, personalities change when unmanageable credit card debt has crept in. You allow your emotions dictate your life. This leads to spur of the moment decisions without considering the long-term consequences. Incidentally the person on the other end who you are directing your emotions at either get hurt or disgusted. This causes distance.
When you CHOOSE to purchase by cash, it has benefits such as:
1) If you purchase your groceries by cash, you will more than likely look compare what is on sale with what you normally buy. This way you can see which is the bigger bargain and if the sale item is really a sale. Result: You might find that you spend less and have extra money left over. This money can be applied towards something else.
2) Purchasing by cash causes you to budget your money accordingly and not impulse buy. Using cash should keep you from purchasing large ticket items that are a Want versus a Need.
3) If you are married, this can remove financial stress because now you have extra money. Every little bit adds up. You can put it towards a bill or a joint financial goal.
Which will you choose today?
This movie deals with romance and shopping, not so much romance from the outset. As a young girl, she thought shop windows saw a perfect world of dreamy thing. Grown up girls getting whatever they wanted and equated them to fairies and princesses that did not need money. They had magic cards. Once she is a young adult on her own, she shops her way through life. Loses job. Finds job giving money advice in a magazine. Love interest on job.
Money Implications: I knew this would be a fun one for me to asses because of the title and my not being a shopper.
First: Her mindset from her youth was as a shopper. This carried over into when she became an adult.
Money Tip: If you are a shopper, you are shopper. You can learn to shop within balance.
Second: This character had an excuse for everything she bought.
Money Tip: Stop shopping on impulse. You should not have to make an excuse for the things you purchase. That already says you know you should not have purchased it.
Third: This character stated she heard the mannequin calling out to her.
Money Tip: If you are walking in the stores and you hear the voices saying, come and buy me. You can respond mentally and say it is not the appropriate time. I am not giving in and walk away. Leave without giving in. It may be a challenge at first but you can overcome impulse shopping and overspending.
Overall Lesson: This movie clearly shows how your upbringing and exposure does affect your choices when you become a young adult and as an adult.
Recommendation: Do not hide it from your spouse that you are a shopper. It will eventually come out if you try to keep it a secret and it might come out to your disadvantage.
If you have not seen this movie or know someone that it would make a great gift for, purchase your copy now: