Posts Tagged ‘economy’
I have been teaching a lot locally in Denver regarding Money Management. Each time there has been great turnout and lots of questions being asked. People are tired of being in debt, struggling in the economy and not getting the help they need.
I have given a seminar for a Singles Summit and the majority of the participants had some experience with money within a marriage and had their own perspective on how they would handle finances when entering into a new committed relationship. They also were able to determine what is important for them when it comes to a relationship and the role of money in that relationship.
I taught at two of our local libraries for those communities about money. Interestingly enough it is always an older crowd that has had it with the economy and they are seeking answers. There were several younger adults and they had their own experience when it came to the economy “tanking” so they were there to get answers as well.
Before 2011 gets away from you, I encourage you to get the help that you deserve. If you are seeking personal financial counseling, click the tab under Money in marriage and get the counseling help you need today.
The economy has had its effects on many relationships especially for those that are engaged. Brides and grooms are having to cut costs where they can in order to have the wedding of their dreams. Sure they are compromising on different things and some have even gone the route of DIY. I tell you what, I am an artsy girl in a different kind of way and don’t think I would have been doing a lot of DIY. Hmmm, let me think about this as I write… my husband actually did our wedding announcements because he works in the printing industry.
When it came to the flowers, I went to a local florist and chose my bouquet and the boutonneire that I wanted my him to wear. So there were some things that we did handle. We had a Justice of the Peace wedding because we knew what our financial situation was and did not want to incur more debt due to our wedding.
I have repeatedly been reading different articles and getting some anonymous notes on the back end of my blog regarding how the economy has been affecting the bride and groom. This week, I will be talking about different situations regarding the money and the bride and groom. Stay tuned…
From what I read President Barack Obama signed a bill Nov. 6 that extends the $8,000 first-time homebuyer credit until June 30, and makes some current homeowners eligible for $6,500 on a new home purchase. That is good news.
It is a great thing to be a homeowner and it is important to know how to purchase a home and not go into thinking you need to compete with the Jones. There are probably many families right now that were under the impression they needed to compete with the Jones that are having a difficult time based on the economy.
What is one of the first steps you can take in preparing to become a homeowner. If you have six months to a year, sit down and budget what you are paying for your current place of residence and what you are willing to spend to become a homeowner. I remember when my husband and I were preparing to become homeowners, we took our time driving through and looking at the different neighborhoods, housing developments and did not get swayed by what people said.
For us it was not about what the lender wanted us to spend, it was about us not being “house poor”, deserving to own a piece of the “American Dream” and enjoying it. So take the time to make the budget and be realistic. If you are in a rental situation and have not had to pay utilities, then you need to have a line item for the budget when you looking at home buying costs.
You can also contact the local utility company and ask them what is the average utility cost during the winter and summer months. This will give you an idea of what you can expect. To receive more information on home buying costs from A to Z on becoming a homeowner, I invite you to get your copy today of Amazon.com Bestseller Homebuyer’s Helper (How to Have and Hold on to your House) via http://www.moneytalkmatters.com/products
I know that many brides and grooms have gotten creative because of what is happenign with the economy. I read a story today that is titled Bride’s Offer to Barter turns into $75,000 wedding for free. I tell you what I like this story, why you ask? Let me tell you it says to me that she is not going to overspend nor by on the spur of the moment just because she wants something. She will take her time and shop around.
This bride posted on Craigslist she didn’t have the money for her wedding but would barter services if anyone could help her out. People stepped up to the plate and helped make her wedding dream come true. It would be interesting to see how she manages money for their marriage. I say that because she did not have money for a wedding. You know the saying, where there is a will, there is a way. Well this bride has truly seen that come true.
When it comes to marriage, money is an important part of marriage. I hope that this bride and groom are already discussing money and how to manage it for their marriage beyond this glorious wedding day they just had.
What are your thoughts about bartering for a wedding?
Last night I received this question from a colleague via my facebook page. Yes, I am on facebook as well. This is the exact wording – I still find so many do not discuss money before they get married. Why is that? What are your thoughts? It is such a vital topic that people seem to avoid for one reason or another.
I kept thinking about it last night and decided to write on it today. Money has been labeled that “taboo” topic. However, people are beginning to talk about it because of what has happened with the economy. Most of the ones that are discussing it though are already married. The effect of the economy when it comes to brides and grooms are discussing how to have their dream wedding for less. There are couples that are even going so far as to ask their guests to pay for their wedding. Mind you, some of those couples are getting married for the second time and I have clear views on that, but I digress.
Below are some of the reasons I know people are not talking about money before marriage:
1) Fear – Afraid if they tell their soon to be spouse about their financial mistakes, they will break off the engagement or wedding. Result: Other financial mistakes occur while you are not sharing about the initial ones.
2) Secret – Believe if they can just get beyond the wedding day, then they will be the ones to manage the money and their spouse will not find out. Result: it does eventually come out and can lead to arguments and trust being removed.
3) Caught UP in the Wedding Day – Both the bride and groom are so “caught up” in the wedding day, they do not even think to talk about money. Result: as soon as the honeymoon is over and the other one finds out about their debt, the arguments begin, distrust occurs and much more.
4) Denial - Don’t discuss money because they think they have a handle on everything. Result: As soon as that unexpected financial expense happens, they don’t know what to do. Usually turn to mom and dad instead of each other.
5) Want to be a statistic – By not discussing money before marriage, couples are choosing to go down the path of potentially becoming a divorce statistic. Getting divorced because of money.
6) Don’t soon to be spouse to they are a shopper. This way they can walk down the aisle and then attempt to curb it initially and then revert back to their trueself.
7) Lack of trust. They do not trust the person when it comes to money based on past baggage with someone else, so they are not even willing to open that door.
Those are some of the reasons people would not discuss money before marriage. I don’t agree with them because at the end of the day, all of them could lead to divorce court.
What do you think?
We have all heard that said in vows during many weddings that we have attended and some of you may have even said yourself. Bride takes the groom “For better of for worse, for richer or for poorer”. Those words are often said without any thought of that become the life of Mr. and Mrs. Wed.
Then when times get tough due to financial choices made, one party of the marriage wants to divorce because of finances. Listen, we have all heard the statistics that money is one of the top three reasons for divorce. I ask you, what happened to For Richer or For Poorer and For Better or For Worse? Did they not mean or did not give any thought to life happens? Sure, Life happens and situations happen but you are the one in control. It does not necessarily matter what the situation is but HOW YOU HANDLE the situation and come THROUGH it.
Let’s say for example a spouse loses a job and now the budget gets a little tighter, well that is okay. Couples must learn to work together and not treat each other as enemies. That husband or wife did not get up this morning and say I am going to go to work and do everything I can to lose my job. There are times it is not even their fault. Jobs have been cut due to the economy and for some companies hours have been reduced in order to sustain some companies. Either way, it was not your husband or wife’s choice that this happen at their place of employment.
A situation has presented regarding employment and what are the options you have in order to keep your household functioning accordingly? Get creative – be an optimist and not a complainer about your situation. Complaining has never solved anything and there have been times when complaining makes the situation worse. If your goal is to make the situation worse, then go ahead and complain. If your goal is to make it better, then start by changing the words that are coming out of your mouth. Become solution oriented and not a victim of what happened.
I would imagine even with financial challenges, deep down you still love the person. So financial challenges does not change that. Do not make decisions based on emotions. When you said your vows – you chose to say ” I Do” because you love the person. Love is a choice and not an emotion. Begin taking your vows seriously and talk with your spouse today.
I have been asked this question over the last few months and decided that now is just as good a time as any to write it in a post. Why? Let’s face it, we both know that the economy has been taking its toll on people and marriages whether they are believers or non-believers.
So I’m not as many of you know, I am not a sugar coater when it comes to my thoughts. So let’s get right into it because more than likely this is going to be a two part blog because I do not want anyone who needs this answer to be overwhelmed and miss anything.
I said this question to my husband last night sharing with him that I was preparing to write this post. He flat out said, “The vows says For Richer or For Poorer“. I responded, you see.
I pray that you did not marry for money and married because you love the person. Love is a choice and not an emotion. I hope that you understand that money comes and goes. Yes it has many roles in our lives and it is important that you recognize the roles and functions of money in your marriage.
When a Christian man and woman stand before God, the wedding officiant and guests taking their vows, they are entering into a covenant agreement saying we will be together through good, bad and the ugly. For Richer or For Poorer means honey if we have to eat Raamen noodles for a minute then I am here with you or honey if we are eating steak and shrimp I am here with you. Regardless of what is happening with the money, Christian husbands and wives are supposed to be together working it out together. Remember, Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, A threefold cord is not easily broken. I can assure you, the GOD I SERVE is not in the business of breaking up marriages.
Marriage is not a covenant that should be taken lightly but reverently, because if you are like me and my husband, GOD blessed us with each other. We had pastors (that were complete strangers) come up to us in restauraunts even months after we were married saying, when you two are ready to get married, I want to marry you. Then we would hold up our hands and show them we were already married.
Christian marriages ARE to be examples of a GODLY marriage to non-believers. Yet if Christian marriages are doing the same thing that non-believers are doing, where is the difference and where is the example? What does it say in Hebrews 13:4-5 which I want to take from the Amplified Bible, 4 “Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
Marriages are to be held dear. It is absolutely a blessing to me, to be with the man GOD chose for me. See, I did not have to go out there looking for a mate because I know in MY BIBLE it says HE who findeth a good wife obtains FAVOR in the LORD. It is not my role to go out there and look for a mate. My responsibilty is to have my relationship with GOD right and in order, so that when GOD blessed me with my HUSBAND, I was ready. Alright, I digress that is for another time.
Let’s move on to verse 5 which says, 5 Let your [a]character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] [b]Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor [c]give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [d][I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor [e]let [you] down ([f]relax My hold on you)! [[g]Assuredly not!]
I want to say Christians have to realize that no you are not supposed to love money but you have to recognize that money is a tool and a weapon. It is a tool that can be used to expand your ability to reach many people for the KINGDOM of GOD. It is also a weapon because it takes money in the world system to hire lawyers if necessary to defend you against a person or a claim. Money in itself is not a negative, it is what people do with and to money that makes it a negative in their life.
So for those married christians, I have to ask you are you depending on God or your mate? I want to leave you with this thought, in my opinion it is not the money that you are fighting about or getting divorced over, I say it is deeper and to find out you have to wait for part 2.
Every month there are couples getting married. I have read story after story of wedding planning being impacted by the economy. Either the bride or groom has lost a job, the bridal shop where the brides dress was closed overnight and now she is left without a dress – just some unbelievable things. There have also been many stories that couples are getting very creative when it comes to wedding plan and having their wedding.
I want to applaud all the couples that have recognized that they need to reduce their wedding budget as well as those that are CHOOSING not to accrue debt or any more debt for their union. I say this because more than likely one person is entering the marriage with some form of debt. The question is have they shared this information with their spouse to be. That makes all the difference.
When couples are preparing to walk down the aisle they need to be realistic and not think of their life as something on tv. Since the recession, it has been reported that three out of four married couples are arguing about money. Money is a topic that should be discussed regularly throughout the marriage and not just when an emergency comes up.
Start slowly so that you do not overwhelm your soon to be spouse. Remember you will be talking about money throughout the lifetime of your marriage. Talking about money openly builds trust in a relationship. I cannot stress enough that this is a subject that should not be avoided or ignored.
As you prepare to walk down the aisle be realistic as you begin your journey to marital happiness. You do not have to be like the norm and expect the fairy tale and then get let down.
Your daughter is engaged and the wedding plans are in full force. For some of you the wedding is happening relatively soon and you continue to charge this and pay cash for that so your daughter can have the wedding of her dreams. Regardless of what the economy is doing, wedding are happening throughout the United States and worldwide.
You want this to be a day she remembers for the rest of her life. Are you prepared to protect your wedding investment or throw your money down the drain? Think about this, we have all heard money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Do you realize that the BIGGEST marital expense of them all is divorce?
Now that I have your attention parents, do something that is not the norm when it comes to paying for weddings. I’m talking about protecting your wedding investment and include life skills for your daughter’s marriage. When young women are getting married, their main focus is on their wedding day because they have dreamed about it for years, yet they do not think about what happens after the honeymoon.
I have talked with different parents over the last few months in various settings and they ask me what do I do? When I share with them that I am a money and marriage advocate, I teach couples how to communicate about money throughout the lifetime of their marriage. Their immediate response is, “I wish you had talked to my daughter before she got married.”
Have you felt like this as you have watched your daughter plan the wedding and spend your money? So how do you protect your wedding investment? Give your daughter financial skills that she can utilize throughout the life of her marriage. It does not have to be intrusive nor judgmental but in essence a tool that says this is an area where most couples struggle and have limited financial knowledge. Therefore, as your parent that wants to see your marriage succeed, I am giving you this gift of financial education that will keep on giving. Once you learn how to talk WITH your soon-to-be groom about money throughout your marriage and financial challenges you may face, you can handle anything.
Of course you could say, she is an adult and knows how to manage money. Are you thinking that or do you know 100% that she is a good money manager? If there is any doubt, get her Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar today which was created by Dr. Taffy Wagner, of Money Talk Matters, LLC. This financial education program can be purchased through this site, www.MoneyTalkMatters.com .
I love it when I find stories like this that reaffirm what I have been saying. Naturally when I found this one, I had to share this. This article talks about the 5 Costly Money Mistakes Newlyweds Make
One of the five mistakes is a lack of communication. That does not surprise me because we both know that money is still a “Taboo” subject when getting married. Even in 2009 with everything that is going on with the economy, sometimes money is not being discussed in the manner it should be.
I must admit when I read about this couple who are newly married but lived together for seven years, purchased a home after they got married stated that they realized financial decisions can be some of the toughest.
Makes me wonder what were they doing when they lived together! Were they keeping things separate and not even talking about joint finances for seven years or what do we do if this… since we are under one roof. Now, I am not advocating living together prior to marriage -what I am pulling from this article is it appears couples have not thought about married life.
A second one is a failure to plan. To me this goes without saying because when you are unprepared, financial challenges can tear down a relationship really fast, cause husbands and wives to point the finger at each other and lead to all sorts of stress in the marriage. This can happen whether you are a newlywed or married for a longer period of time.
A third one is handing over control. When it comes to managing finances for the marriage, I am a huge believer in including the person that is not the money manager. They need to be aware of all the details – how the bills are paid, when, the account numbers, the automatic deductions and more. Do not set your spouse up for financial disarray by not including them in the financial picture.
What do you think are the costly money mistakes?
If you would like to find out about upcoming teleseminars or speaking engagements, sign up below: