Posts Tagged ‘engaged couple’

postheadericon Brides and Grooms dealing with Money Matters

Congratulations to all the engaged couples that are dealing with money matters during the engagement! Does that sound strange? It should not because better now than later to be discussing money matters. Talking about who is going to manage the money, what are the existing debts being brought into the marriage and much more can save you from a lot of grief, headaches, nights where you go to bed upset with each other because of financial stress – believe me it is not worth it.

When you stand across the altar from the one you love, those first few months to couple of years should be spent nurturing the relationship, having fun as you learn more about each other as a husband and wife, the quirks, the habits and so much more. Coming into a marriage with debt that has not been discussed is setting the marriage up for division and a lack of trust in the marriage. Once trust is gone in the relationship, it is hard to get it back.

If you are engaged and wonder what you should be talking about, the following is a beginning point:

1) What student loans are being brought to the marriage?

2) What credit card debt is being brought to the marriage?

3) What happends when a financial emergency arises? What do each of you think would be the best way to get a financial unexpected emergency handled?

4) Who is going to be better at managing money?

By all means are these the end all of all the questions. This is a starting point. The idea is not to overwhelm and frustrate each other to a point of not wanting to discuss finances. You should talk about finances with the idea of resolving challenges and having a game plan. Financial discussions can lead to greater intimacy in a marriage.

When there are no financial problems, the fun can truly begin pampering each other just because you love one another. It does not have to be a special day – each day you spend with each other is a GREAT day.

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postheadericon Engaged and Arguing about Money

Brides and Grooms, if you are engaged and arguing about money step back and ask yourself, what are we arguing about? Let me pose these questions:

1) Are you arguing about one person overspending?

2) Is one person not paying their share of the bills?

3) Are you arguing about expenses that occurred before you became engaged?

4) Or is about the wedding expenses?

The four questions above might not even be the reason you are arguing. What you need to do is step back and begin talking about your financial situation that exist on both parties behalf. Why? If you are arguing before you get married, imagine what it is going to be like once you say “I Do.” The two of you are the same people and that will not change.

This means that both of you have to adjust your money management skills or learn how to manage money for the benefit of the marriage. Do not rush into marriage thinking that you can change each other. When it comes to money brides and grooms have to accept responsibility for their individual choices prior to becoming husbands and wives. Sure, the husbands and wives will sometimes end up dealing with the consequences of choices made by brides and grooms. What tends to help that situation is by being honest about your finances prior to saying “I Do” versus letting that spouse get blindsighted by money issues.

Remember, arguing does not solve money issues. What it does is allow people to point the blame, shop based on emotions, stop talking and much more. Do not fall into those patterns because it usually leads to more financial mistakes.

postheadericon Should Money Be A Taboo Subject?

For the Parent: Without talking about money to your children the following could happen:
1) Applying for numerous credit cards and overcharging
2) Writing checks and not knowing how to balance the checkbook
3) Getting loan after loan from a bank and getting co-signers
4) They repeat what they saw you do

For the Student: I am going to say high school to college age:
1) Peer pressure when out with friends which can lead to overspending
2) Mismanaging money from student loans and applying for every credit card offer on campus
3) During break getting a job but spending the money instead of planning ahead
4) Not being able to return to school because its not affordable

For the Engaged Couple:
1) Walking down the aisle and preparing to say “I Do” then finding out spouse is in debt – Creates a major problem
2) Knowing that you are a shopper and praying your fiance does not find out
3) Learning your future spouse has $20,000 in debt and not knowing how to handle it
4) Not compromising on wedding expenditures – could set the stage for marriage

For the Married Couple:
1) Been married for years and one person managed the money, now faced with consequences that are forcing conversation
2) Blaming the other person for spending in a time when you needed to be “frugal”
3) Silence being a part of the marriage because of financial tension
4) One person feeling as if they shoulder all the financial burden

Whether you are married, engaged, a student, parent or single – you decide. Based on what you read above, should money be a taboo subject? Share your comments.

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