Money Talk Matters

Posts Tagged ‘Engaged Couples’

Engaged Couples – Brides-to-Be -Fiance’s

Would you marry someone with major debt? What would you consider to be a deal breaker when it comes to debt? Take a look at this article that was on “Glamour Magazine”.

Have you thought about this subject or is this a subject that you choose to ignore? Let me caution you either way – debt does impact a marriage whether it is brought into the marriage or incurred once married. Factors that I believe should be considered is financial plan, work ethic and willingness to resolve and remove the debt.

Entering into a marriage with debt takes away from the opportunity to nurture and build a relationship, yet places the majority of the focus on removing debt and alleviating the financial stress that pulls at the relationship which can lead to pointing the finger.

If you need assistance on talking about finances and removing debt, contact me through this site. I do provide one-on-one counseling for couples and/or individuals.

Brides if you have a fiance that does not want to share money, what is the message that sends to you? Did you ask him why or did you jump to assumptions because he said he did not want to share money? Listen, before you go jumping off the handle and then getting mad with him, sit down and talk with him about the reason.

I also want to ask you why do you want him to share money at this point? You are engaged not married. What is behind your wanting him to share money? While you are engaged it gives you an opportunity to observe how each other handle money individually and not as a couple. Sure this is your future spouse but you both have your own income and are coming to the table with some sort of financial background.

Let me caution you, if the reason you want your fiance to share money now during the engagement is so you have more to spend you potentially could scare him away. Having access to more money does not necessarily make you a better money manager especially if you are a spender.

If he does not want to share money based on an experience he had with a prior girlfriend, even though you are not her, he is entitled to not share during this time frame. What have you done to prove to him that you are not going to do the same thing she did? Let’s face it, there are men and women that take advantage of each other when it comes to money.

I believe it is a great thing to discuss all of these varying topics that are centered around money because it shows you what is going to happen during the marriage. If you are openly talking about money while you are engaged, this gives you more of a headstart at solving financial issues during your marriage. You won’t have to get stressed about it because you are already in the mode of being solution oriented when it comes to finances.

That is one of the best things you can be is, be solution oriented instead of victim oriented. You finances and marriage depend on your being level headed as husband and wife in an effort to resolve financial challenges and move on.

What a fun time to be planning a wedding as an engaged couple. One thing that you should not forget to do is establish a budget as an engaged couple. This budget could encompass many things because while most brides are probably focused primarily on the wedding, I want to encourage you to also focus on the marriage.

You could establish a wedding day budget – what you plan to spend for
caterers, flowers, wedding gown, etc. The groom’s cost will more than likely be minimal. However, once you return from the honeymoon and began living together if you had not gotten a place together prior to your marriage, now you are beginning your life together as husband and wife.

What should be included in the budget:
Income
Expenses
Groceries
Utilities
Insurance costs – auto, life, health
Credit Card bills
Student Loans

Those are only a few items that should be on the budget. You should sit down and each person complete a budget worksheet of what their bills are separately and then do a budget where you have combined all of your expenses.

As you are planning to move forward with the wedding, do not blame each other for past expenses that you incurred when the other person was not a part of your life. Budgeting says that you do not have to keep up with the Joneses or your best girlfriend that had a wedding that costs x amount of dollars.

As an engaged couple, now is not the time to be silent when it comes to finances, budgeting and your future. Be honest with yourself and establish a plan. It can make the difference between financial stress and financial happiness.

If you need additional guidance or resources, look under www.moneytalkmatters.com/products.

Very rarely am I up in the morning to watch the early morning talk shows. However, this morning I was up watching GMA and saw a story about this new website that is an alternative for couples that have disputes. So you do not have to go to People’s Court or even before Judge Mathis (which is one of my favorites). This guy created Sidetaker.com where couples can post their disputes and let people decide how they should handle a situation.

I can readily see why people gravitate to such a site as this because there will always be people that want to give advice. Many people seek the advice of others even when they know what to do. Then there is that group that will continue telling their situation to people until they hear what they want to hear. My favorites are the ones that ask you for your advice and then do the opposite of what you suggest. I am sure many of you can relate to that.

What do you think of Sidetaker.com?

Welcome to Money Talk Matters. I invite you to take a look throughout this site. You will find information, resources, interviews and answers to every day personal finance questions. 

You will learn about the different roles of money in your life, guidance for individuals, engaged couples, married couples and even military servicemembers, their spouses and families.

Whether you are re-evaluating your finances, cleaning up old debt, preparing to walk down the aisle or even searching for answers in a time when the economy appears to be grim, MONEY TALK MATTERS.

You are invited to send in a question that you would like to have answered. Know that you will be given recommendations on personal finance issues and at the end of the day, the responsibility is yours to choose what you will or will not do.