Money Talk Matters

Posts Tagged ‘fiance and money’

Fiance is not helping pay for wedding and what should I do? Yes, it is 2010 and tradition is somewhat out the window. Why do I say tradition is somewhat out the window – that is because of what has happened with the economy and continues to happen. There are many brides whose parents are not in the position to pay for their wedding as it once was.

If the parents are not in the position to pay, now I have not ever known it to be where the fiance pays. Now, that does not mean that he should not contribute. I would imagine if the couple was older or even if it was not their first marriage, that the bride and groom would be the ones primarily paying for their wedding.

However, if it is a younger bride whose parents are paying or contributing– let me ask you this question and you think about it– what was the understanding with you and your fiance upon getting engaged about the wedding? Did you talk about who was going to pay for the wedding? How much did you envision being spent? Did you want a big or small wedding? When is the wedding date? When you can answer that question, then you decide how to proceed.

Granted this can be one of the best times to begin money communication because maybe you just misunderstood something. Maybe he did too. Now is the time to talk about financial plans for the wedding and you will see how the two of you communicate about money. Communication styles are important when it comes to money. No better time like the present to openly talk about what you both would like and then see if you can compromise and reach a vision you both agree on without regret.

Brides – if your fiance does not make any money, how are you going to handle that? In everything you do, you must have a plan whether it be education, career, purchasing a car, buying a house and even getting married. Each of these areas involve money and it is not wise to make decisions with your eyes closed.

Financial decisions have long lasting effects if made carelessly. So if you are engaged at this point and your fiance does not make any money, let me provide some “food for thought”. Hold on to your seat because that does not mean I am going to say break off the engagement. Continue reading below.

Questions to ask yourself if your fiance does not make any money. Make sure you can answer these questions based on your own observations of him, by talking with him and what you know is true:

1) Is your fiance a hardworker, but poor at managing money?

2) Does he feel that he should not have to work, but think things should just be given to him?

3) Does he have bills?

4) When you and your fiance go out, who pays for dinner, movies or whatever the activity is?

5) If your fiance does not work, what was his last job and why did he quit?

6) Does he want to start his own business?

7) How are the wedding expenses being handled?

After the wedding, where do you and your fiance plan to live?

9) Does your fiance have dreams and goals for himself?

10) What does your fiance’s credit report look like?

11) Was he married before, if so was money one of the reasons the marriage ended?

Brides, when you take a trip and you plan on driving you have a map and you map out your course. If you are like me, you map it out in complete detail even to where your gas stops will occur. When you are planning on getting married to someone that you are going to share your life with, it should not be any different. Take the time and get these questions answered. Do not ignore the fact that his not making any money is bothering you.

PLEASE PLEASE pay attention to the little red flag that is raised. It should bother you and that means it is worth discussing and not being swept under the rug. If it is necessary – get Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar financial education program which teaches couples how to communicate about money in a non-threatening manner.