Posts Tagged ‘financial decisions’
Engaged Couples and Brides-to-Be
There’s a lot of reports coming out right now about money and marriage detailing the affects of money on marriage. Let me share that MONEY has ALWAYS and WILL ALWAYS be a part of marriage. Whether you have a wedding, elope or even go to the Justice of the Peace money is involved. Once you are married, money is an even bigger resource because your financial decisions affect two people.
Let’s cut to the chase, money is used almost daily in some form whether you are buying lunch, paying for gas or even puchasing that latte’ in the morning to get you started it all takes money. Once you are married, money is even more important to the success of the marriage because your financial decisions will affect both of you and not just one of you. Remember, you will no longer be single but a unit.
Money in itself cannot do anything. So when people say money is one of the top three reasons for divorce – in essence it because of how the money was managed or mismanaged that someone did not agree with that affected their relationship, it is because values were not respected and all hope was lost. So before you walk down the aisle, love yourself and each other enough to have begun talking about money. WHY? Because money and marriage is an ongoing conversation for the lifetime of your marriage.
Money has many roles in marriage and prepare yourself because paying for a wedding is not the only role. Take some time and think about what the roles are you believe that money plays in your relationship and what it will mean for your marriage.
If you are seeking a financial education program that you can begin utilizing now, go to www.moneytalkmatters.com/products and purchase Money Talk before the Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops at The Altar. This program is a comprehensive program that teaches you how to talk about money throughout the lifetime of your marriage and can be utilized in the privacy of your own home.
Do not set yourself up to be a “Newlywed” that says “I Made a Mistake”! You can CHOOSE how you want your money and marriage to be – Full of Stress because of Financial Secrets or Fun-Loving, Having Regular Financial Stress-Free talks.
Brides if your fiance is bad with money, now is the time to talk with him and plan for your financial foundation during your marriage. It is a GREAT thing that you are finding out this information prior to your walking down the aisle. You may be puzzled as to why! Because there are so many brides and grooms that are not even discussing money before marriage and then they become mad when they find out that the money is not right or the other person has debt.
The biggest expense of marriage is DIVORCE. While you are seeing that your fiance is bad with money, why not take steps together to correct his financial mistakes and any financial mistakes that you have made. While you are putting it out there that he is bad with money, what about you? Is your financial background spotless? If not, then I suggest you share with him as well what your financial background is so that you are starting from a place of everyone’s financial cards being on the table.
It is not fair if you do not share with him and you know in the back of your mind, you have made mistakes too. Even if you have not made mistakes, share with him how you handle money so that it can enlighten him on how you make financial decisions as well as what you base those decisions on.
After you have shared how you handle money, the two of you should look at what his plans are to clean up his financial situation. Establish goals that are achievable and realistic. He needs to be able to take some steps to correct his financial picture. That may or may not necessarily involve you. What you can do is to talk with him on a regular basis and see what progress he has made. This will let him know you are not just going to have a one time discussion and drop it. Encourage him to pursue financial relief in his own life.
Brides, Grooms, Husbands and Wives take a note. When you enter into marriage realize that prior to your saying I do, you had a life outside of your mate. That life included making financial decisions that were good and some financial decisions that might have been not as good. The money mistakes are a part of you if you chose not to clean them up prior to marriage and are a part of your marriage.
They are a part of your marriage because you will think about them. Once your spouse finds out about them voluntarily or involuntarily is entirely up to you. The result can be different. The question I ask you today is this: Could the financial baggage that is surfacing in your relationship becoming detrimental to the welfare of your union? If so, then what are the steps that you are taking to remove the baggage.
Baggage in itself is not a good thing. Usually tied to baggage of any nature is emotions which leads people to act hastily without thinking about all of the consequences. Remember, every decision you make has a consequence. Take a few minutes to think long term and not short-term when it comes to your decisions.
The only time that I know of that baggage is good is if it is luggage and you are taking a much deserved vacation. Otherwise financial baggage is not good, revisiting old girlfriends or boyfriend baggage is not good and even previous employment situations that had baggage is not good. It is time to have a clear picture of what you want and where you want your finances and marriage to go.
With that in mind, quit living your past in the present. Live the PRESENT now and take care of NOW, TODAY and the future will take care of itself. This is not a time to keep looking behind you or you will miss opportunities in your present to get your finances in order, to impact your marriage for a lifetime and much more. Sure, it could be thought of as “Not the Norm” – it’s about time. Going along with the norm has ended marriages, caused separations and stopped people from talking about money in marriage. It is a New Day and time for New Financial Beginnings and Plans.
Don’t ignore the baggage. Baggage can overtake you or be overwhelming to your spouse. Talk with your spouse today, develop a plan to remove it and BEGIN removing it. You can talk about things all day BUT until you take action it’s just TALK. JUST DO IT! BE IT!