Posts Tagged ‘financial obligations’
Congratulations to all the engaged couples that are dealing with money matters during the engagement! Does that sound strange? It should not because better now than later to be discussing money matters. Talking about who is going to manage the money, what are the existing debts being brought into the marriage and much more can save you from a lot of grief, headaches, nights where you go to bed upset with each other because of financial stress – believe me it is not worth it.
When you stand across the altar from the one you love, those first few months to couple of years should be spent nurturing the relationship, having fun as you learn more about each other as a husband and wife, the quirks, the habits and so much more. Coming into a marriage with debt that has not been discussed is setting the marriage up for division and a lack of trust in the marriage. Once trust is gone in the relationship, it is hard to get it back.
If you are engaged and wonder what you should be talking about, the following is a beginning point:
1) What student loans are being brought to the marriage?
2) What credit card debt is being brought to the marriage?
3) What happends when a financial emergency arises? What do each of you think would be the best way to get a financial unexpected emergency handled?
4) Who is going to be better at managing money?
By all means are these the end all of all the questions. This is a starting point. The idea is not to overwhelm and frustrate each other to a point of not wanting to discuss finances. You should talk about finances with the idea of resolving challenges and having a game plan. Financial discussions can lead to greater intimacy in a marriage.
When there are no financial problems, the fun can truly begin pampering each other just because you love one another. It does not have to be a special day – each day you spend with each other is a GREAT day.
If you are interested in receiving the weekly Brides and Grooms Money Talk Tips marriage at no cost, sign up at the box to the left of this post.
Last night my husband and I were talking about the housing market and the banks. He was sharing with me how he heard this one woman was saying she tried to be proactive and before her financial situation occurred, she contacted her mortgage lender.
Lender’s response: They did nothing.
Why did they do nothing? Because her mortgage was current and on time.
Result: Financial situation occurred and she got behind four to six months I believe.
Her Next Move: Contact the Lender
Result: Did not help her out because she did not meet that criteria.
My husband was disgusted. I told him there are people out there in her same position. They have taken steps to be proactive and the mortgage lender has shunned them because their situation did not meet the criteria for help. Was not drastic enough because their payment history was exemplary. Then when they got behind a little and asked for help – met with a closed door.
I’ve heard similar stories from people personally that this happened to. What this says is that you have to CREATE your own BAILOUT. When it was announced that we were in a recession, the economy had already been in a recession. Once it was “VERBALIZED” then it was like a domino effect.
I feel comfortable in saying that everyone who is having financial issues and not able to pay their mortgage now, did not spend recklessly, take elaborate trips and etc. More than likely what happened is they were coasting along, paying their bills just fine and then all of sudden the word “RECESSION” was verbalized and work started drying up (if they worked for someone else), orders became less and less (if they owned their own business). Now they were in the position of having to decide pay this or pay that which they had not been in before.
First step in creating your own bailout: Re-evaluate all of your household obligations and be honest with yourself. What do you NEED? Are there subscriptions that you have that you do not benefit from?
You are the one that has take action for your benefit. Take action today.