Posts Tagged ‘financial talk’
I can remember when it was confirmed that I was carrying twins, one of the first things I did was join an online forum where I could speak with other moms carrying multiples. What a great time we had of sharing tips, resources and encouraging each other. I know from being a “wedding vendor” the same thing happens with brides.
Brides get online to do research regarding fashion, flowers and even finances. Well, it is great that you can talk with other brides and ask how do you handle this and what do you do about this. However, when it comes to finances it is sooo much more than that. Money is a crucial part of marriage that you should be discussing with your future spouse.
What do you want for your money and marriage? Only you and your groom know what the truth is regarding your finances. While you are engaged, now is the time you can observe and openly discuss how do you handle different financial situations. Trust becomes a factor. What does it really mean to trust the one you “say” you love in the area of finances? If you do not feel you can trust them, why is it? How will this affect your relationships?
I will tell you this, TRUST is essential. If you cannot trust someone then you do not have anything. Let alone trust when it comes to money. So do not deceive yourself and begin talking with your fiance. I realize talking to other brides gives you a chance to see how someone else handled it, BUT they do not know your fiance and you are learning more about him every day.
Begin talking money with your future spouse. If you need some help in how to begin the conversation get your copy today of Money Talk Before the Commitment Walk and Debt Stops at the Altar – it guides you through conversations you should have and solutions to common financial problems.
Congratulations to all the engaged couples that are dealing with money matters during the engagement! Does that sound strange? It should not because better now than later to be discussing money matters. Talking about who is going to manage the money, what are the existing debts being brought into the marriage and much more can save you from a lot of grief, headaches, nights where you go to bed upset with each other because of financial stress – believe me it is not worth it.
When you stand across the altar from the one you love, those first few months to couple of years should be spent nurturing the relationship, having fun as you learn more about each other as a husband and wife, the quirks, the habits and so much more. Coming into a marriage with debt that has not been discussed is setting the marriage up for division and a lack of trust in the marriage. Once trust is gone in the relationship, it is hard to get it back.
If you are engaged and wonder what you should be talking about, the following is a beginning point:
1) What student loans are being brought to the marriage?
2) What credit card debt is being brought to the marriage?
3) What happends when a financial emergency arises? What do each of you think would be the best way to get a financial unexpected emergency handled?
4) Who is going to be better at managing money?
By all means are these the end all of all the questions. This is a starting point. The idea is not to overwhelm and frustrate each other to a point of not wanting to discuss finances. You should talk about finances with the idea of resolving challenges and having a game plan. Financial discussions can lead to greater intimacy in a marriage.
When there are no financial problems, the fun can truly begin pampering each other just because you love one another. It does not have to be a special day – each day you spend with each other is a GREAT day.
If you are interested in receiving the weekly Brides and Grooms Money Talk Tips marriage at no cost, sign up at the box to the left of this post.