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Posts Tagged ‘housing’

postheadericon Marriage and Money Movie #29 – A Good Man is Hard to Find

This movie came highly recommended to me by a colleague, Mary Chatman, CEO of Creations of Love, Inc. I have to say WOW! This was not what I expected and it truly kept me on the edge of my seat.

Darin Dewitt Henson, Golden Brooks, Erica Campbell, Mel Jackson, Bishop Noel Jones, Darius McCrary, Hill Harper and Melissa De Sousa what a cast. There are so many dynamics in this movie, I am attempting to summarize it without giving too much away.

The below is a a familiar story that people might have actually heard in real life: Man meets woman when they are younger, fall in love and he asks her to marry him. She says yes under one condition that he would never leave her. Man is invovled in his church and woman feels as if she has taken a back seat to his duties at the church. Man says that she doesn’t come second, but any time she wants to plan something, he has a commitment at the Church. Woman feels unappreciated and unwanted. Woman has a great paying job and completes a top level degree, that no doubt her husband paid for. Woman is offered a job that is paying her more and her soon to be new boss make advances. Woman invites new boss to a dinner gathering and husband is late to the gathering and still meets her new boss and does not like him.

Woman goes to work the next day and complains to the new boss. What do you think happens next. What happens next, sets off a chain of events that you do not expect by a long shot. You will have to get a copy of this movie and add it to your library. It it soooo worth it.

Money Implications:

Just because one person makes more money than the other in marriage, does not mean that the one who makes less is any more less driven than the one who makes a lot of money. There will always be people who think they can come into your life and give you the world, yet in the end it is a game to them. People love the chase. Don’t fall for the trap.

Money Tip #1: Do not forget about investments spouses made in each other and the marriage.

Money Tip #2: The grass may look greaner on the other side and that new person is only using different fertilizer with a devastating result.

Money Tip #3: Do not allow illegal activity to go in your house that could result in something detrimental to your family. It is not worth it.

Observations:

Couple #1: Main Couple who is Rachel (Golden Brooks) and Clarence (Darrin Henson) were in a marriage that dealt with him paying for her higher college education, him being involved in the Church and her feeling as if she came second to the church. They had an adult son that did not want to work but was involved with some illegal activity.

Couple #2: Bruce and Charlene a very interesting couple. Bruce worked with Clarence at the Auto Shop and is a drinker. Charlene has a good job and loves her husband. Within this relationship they deal with alcoholism, pregnancy and physical abuse.

Not a couple: What is interesting you have Rachel’s friend, Monica who met her boss, Damion Marshall. You will have to watch the movie to find out what happens.

Recommendations:

(1) Do not subject yourself to physical abuse in any relationship it is not worth it. That can cost you tons of money in the long run whether it is legal fees or even therapy bills.

(2) When you are in a marriage, do not let it drive you to do anything illegal or anything that would endanger your life.

(3) Make it known if someone begins flirting with you that you are happily married. Do not even let your mind begin to go there. You cannot afford the consequences of infidelity.

(4) For those that are spiritual, when it comes to involvement in your Church and your marriage, healthy boundaries must be set here too. Families should not feel as if they are paying a heavy price because of the Church.

 

If you are seeking guidance in money and marriage, contact Dr. Taffy via emal at drtaffy@moneytalkmatters. com

postheadericon Rich and Famous face Consequences for Financial Blunders

There may be times when people look at the rich and famous and think they are not held accountable for bad decisions they make. Well, hold on to your seat because the rich and famous face consequences just like everyone else for their bad financial decisions like everyone else.

Choices always have consequences whether good or bad. Whether it is finances, employment, business, health etc… there is always a consequence for the CHOICES we make. I would venture to say that most of the time – nothing just happens to us we make choices that result in a certain consequence. Don’t take this as a negative because it is not meant to be that way. It is to show you that YOU are in CONTROL.

When I read this story about Celebrities Financial Blunders, I wanted to share it. Just because you have the rich and famous does not mean they are immune. Listen, financial issues, debt nor taxes discriminate based on race, sex, color, creed nor religion. It is soooo equal opportunity. It does not matter who your mother, father, cousin is nor where you are employed.

Before you make that next financial decision, think about the big picture – what would the consequence be – short-term and long-term as well as who does it affect? Consider are you buying too much house which could result in foreclosure or investing in a risky stock? Or did you research your investment advisor?

postheadericon Marriage and Money Movie #15 – UP

I had to include this one because it was a great kids movie with adult lessons that I am all to happy to share. We saw this movie in 3D with our twins about a month or so ago and I was posting the other movies – I said to myself, this one will not be expected. 

Carl and Ellie meet when they were very young. Ellie was into exploring, likes Carl and says he can become a part of her exploring club. They grow up and Carl marries Ellie. One of the things that Carl promised Ellie is that he would take her to Paradise Falls.

Everytime they would think about going to Paradise Falls, something would happen in the house and need the money. They would take the money from their savings and repair whatever needed repairing.  Do they ever make it to Paradise Falls….. you will have to watch the movie to find out.

Money Implications:  This couple had mutual dreams and goals for their marriage.

Money Tip #1: We can learn a lot from this movie – first thing being this couple was saving money for their trip to Paradise Falls. When repairs came that were needed they took the money out of savings and paid for it. Notice I didn’t say they charged it.

Money Tip #2: They discussed financial obligations and made sure they handled them.

Money Tip #3: The husband became very creative when he took the steps to travel to Paradise Falls.

Money Tip #4:  Remain focused on your financial goals. This husband knew the goal was to get to Paradise Falls and worked it out.

Recommendation: Get into the habit of paying cash for your items or save the money to purchase.

Money Talk is an on-going conversation and not a one time discussion.

Do not limit yourself by saying things can only be accomplished one way. Allow yourself to think outside of the box.

Great movie for kids and adults, buy it below:

postheadericon Debt Does Not DISCRIMINATE – EQUAL OPPORTUNITY

Hear ye, hear ye – the dishonorable debt is being invited to your home because you thought debt would not come to your house because of

your ethnicity

your economic background

your marital status

your education level

your age

who your parents are

your religion

your employment

I said it that way because now you should know better. Debt is an equal opportunity, frustrating and stressful situation if you do not take control of your finances.  Debt changes personalities, impacts marriages negatively, can ruin friendships – because people are ill-equipped with finances.

I have been guilty of not paying attention to what was happening in finances at different times. Nothing like a recession to get your attention. Now when you are faced with less money and the same bills, what action do you take in order to maintain and correct financial situations?

Options: (1) Talk with Creditors and work out a more affordable payment arrangement;

                  (2) Create your own bailout – by starting a home based business from a hobby or something that you have always wanted to do that has low overhead.

                 (3) If you already have a business, re-evaluate your services and contact previous clients. Could institute a referral policy to generate new clients.

                 (4) Get a second job if necessary. If that is what you choose to do.

                 (5) Make sure you establish a household budget if you did not prior to this happening.

Do not let debt cause you to act out of character and hurt those you love. Choose to take control of your money and not be controlled by money.

postheadericon Layoffs and Its Affect on Marriage

I saw an article in the Wall Street Journal that talked about What Layoffs Do to a Marriage and I had to share about it. See, I have experienced this in my own marriage.

This article talks about how when someone is laid off, they do things around the house, job hunt and try to keep themself busy. Then when the spouse comes home, they are desperate for attention.  A layoff impacts the relationship on so many levels.

I want to share what happened with us, it was well after we had been married four years and hubby was laid off. I saw how hard he worked for someone else and asked him what did he want to do.  One of the differences with us is that our household budget was based on one income in case of something  just like that. So he did not have to go back to work for someone else. I told him to do what he wanted. He decided that he wanted to start a small printing business that we could run out of our home.

We had sooo much fun doing this because we literally turned our dining room into the printing shop in our first home. Another great thing is that my business that I had on the side, funded his business. Love it because there was no credit cards used. The one thing we did for the biggest piece of equipment we needed we had gotten an equipment lease through American Express at that time. Otherwise everything we purchased.

That article talks about how most plan their lives around two incomes and we didn’t so we had the luxury of starting another business while I worked at a law firm. My income at the firm was the same as his prior to the layoff - so we did not miss a beat.

Our goal was to make sure that at the end of the day we are happy. Depression was not an option. Working for someone else does not define who you are, sure it can use your skills but many people would do something else if they had the money.  There does come a time when what makes you  happy outweighs what you make working for someone else.

If you are dealing with a money and marriage issue resulting from a layoff, send me your question.

postheadericon Is there a Financial Doctor in the House?

Let’s have some fun with truth this post. Prepare yourselves because it could hit some hard and others will read it and still not do anything.

When our car breaks down, the first thing we do is call a mechanic or take our car to a mechanic.

When we do not feel well, we go to the doctor.

When our vision is blurred or we think we are not reading clearly, we go to the eye doctor.

When we do not hear clearly, we go to an ear doctor.

When we have financial challenges and are making financial mistakes, look at what happens:

1) Because of embarrassment, we do not talk to anyone. Consequently we make even more mistakes.

2) We attempt to ignore the problem, thereby ruining our credit.

3) If in a marriage, we point the finger and blame the other spouse. Which causes anger in the relationship and causes stress.

4) Our work performance deteriorates because we are constantly thinking about our lack of money to pay the bills.

5) If you are single and have borrowed money from friends, we stay away from our friends.

6) Money problems lead to divorce in marriage because there is a communication breakdown.

7) We do not talk to anyone for fear of being judged.

Yet in every situation prior, we consult the most likely person who has the expertise to fix the problem or provide recommendations on solutions.

Why not in finances? Do you like where you are in your finances today? Or, do you want to make a change? If you want to make a change – Dr. Taffy is in the financial house and ready to help you.

You have to do something different in order to get better results. I know some of you will read this and agree with it, yet not take any action. I wish you well. But for those of you who take a stand today and say I want to make better financial decisions, get ready for your path to GREATNESS in financial achievement.

postheadericon The Financial Bus of Life

Let’s have some fun this morning and enlightenment at the same time. Remember when you were young and we rode the bus to school. The bus would come to your house and you would get on the bus and talk with your friends all along the ride to school. Some mornings you wanted to talk and some mornings you might have been sleepy. Yet, you rode the bus. Once at school, you attended school and at the end of the day, you got back on the bus to return home.

 

Later in life as an adult, you might have rode the city’s transportation system which was a bus to the mall, work or if you were visiting another state and that was the best mode of transportation you rode the bus. So a bus has been integral in our lives. Now that you can relate and understand the bus – let’s take it one step further.

 

Today, I want to talk with you about the “Financial Bus of Life.” Regardless if we are in a recession or the economy is up, there is a financial bus in your life. When you were in elementary school through high school, even as a young adult the bus I talked about represented a mode of transportation that got you from one destination to another. For this post it will be a little different.

 

When you think of a bus what is the first thing that comes to mind? I know for our twins they would think it is big and yellow. For someone else it could continue being that mode of transportation to work or shopping. When we are talking about the financial bus – I want you to think about two things – the passenger and the driver.

 

Now when you think about “The Financial Bus of Life” what have you been doing? The role of the passenger is sitting on the seat and watching things happen in the area of finances. Mismanagement of funds happen, overspending happens, maxed out credit cards, financial mistakes happen because of a lack of knowledge. Consequently, the cycle of debt starts and repeats itself. We sit on the seat and watch it happen over and over. We do not want to talk to anyone because we are embarrassed. Also, we lack the will to change our situation.

 

Another character in The Financial Bus of Life is the role of the driver. The driver is the person that no matter what has happened in their finances, they are taking control. They refuse to sit on the seat and watch things happen to them. They are the ones that have made a CHOICE to CONTROL their finances and make healthy financial decisions regardless of what is happening around them. The driver has and is working his or her plan to pay the bills and alleviate debt. The driver does not get influenced by peer pressure or The Joneses. Let me share a secret, there are drivers that were passengers at one time.

 

One of the big differences between a driver and a passenger is the passenger usually lacks the will to change their situation. That can be due to their mindset, used to being a complainer without action and also surrounding themselves with people who think just like them. The driver is going to take action to reach the desired financial result.

 

Are you a driver or a passenger in The Financial Bus of Life?  

postheadericon Housing Help – Did it help you?

Last night my husband and I were talking about the housing market and the banks. He was sharing with me how he heard this one woman was saying she tried to be proactive and before her financial situation occurred, she contacted her mortgage lender.

Lender’s response: They did nothing.

Why did they do nothing? Because her mortgage was current and on time.

Result: Financial situation occurred and she got behind four to six months I believe.

Her Next Move: Contact the Lender

Result: Did not help her out because she did not meet that criteria.

My husband was disgusted. I told him there are people out there in her same position. They have taken steps to be proactive and the mortgage lender has shunned them because their situation did not meet the criteria for help. Was not drastic enough because their payment history was exemplary. Then when they got behind a little and asked for help – met with a closed door.

I’ve heard similar stories from people personally that this happened to. What this says is that you have to CREATE your own BAILOUT. When it was announced that we were in a recession, the economy had already been in a recession. Once it was “VERBALIZED” then it was like a domino effect.

I feel comfortable in saying that everyone who is having financial issues and not able to pay their mortgage now, did not spend recklessly, take elaborate trips and etc. More than likely what happened is they were coasting along, paying their bills just fine and then all of sudden the word “RECESSION” was verbalized and work started drying up (if they worked for someone else), orders became less and less (if they owned their own business). Now they were in the position of having to decide pay this or pay that which they had not been in before.

First step in creating your own bailout: Re-evaluate all of your household obligations and be honest with yourself. What do you NEED? Are there subscriptions that you have that you do not benefit from?

You are the one that has take action for your benefit. Take action today.

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