Money Talk Matters

Posts Tagged ‘interviews’

Your daughter is engaged and the wedding plans are in full force. For some of you the wedding is happening relatively soon and you continue to charge this and pay cash for that so your daughter can have the wedding of her dreams. Regardless of what the economy is doing, wedding are happening throughout the United States and worldwide.

 You want this to be a day she remembers for the rest of her life. Are you prepared to protect your wedding investment or throw your money down the drain? Think about this, we have all heard money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Do you realize that the BIGGEST marital expense of them all is divorce?

 Now that I have your attention parents, do something that is not the norm when it comes to paying for weddings. I’m talking about protecting your wedding investment and include life skills for your daughter’s marriage. When young women are getting married, their main focus is on their wedding day because they have dreamed about it for years, yet they do not think about what happens after the honeymoon.

 I have talked with different parents over the last few months in various settings and they ask me what do I do? When I share with them that I am a money and marriage advocate, I teach couples how to communicate about money throughout the lifetime of their marriage. Their immediate response is, “I wish you had talked to my daughter before she got married.”

 Have you felt like this as you have watched your daughter plan the wedding and spend your money? So how do you protect your wedding investment? Give your daughter financial skills that she can utilize throughout the life of her marriage. It does not have to be intrusive nor judgmental but in essence a tool that says this is an area where most couples struggle and have limited financial knowledge. Therefore, as your parent that wants to see your marriage succeed, I am giving you this gift of financial education that will keep on giving.  Once you learn how to talk WITH your soon-to-be groom about money throughout your marriage and financial challenges you may face, you can handle anything.  

 Of course you could say, she is an adult and knows how to manage money. Are you thinking that or do you know 100% that she is a good money manager? If there is any doubt, get her Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar today which was created by Dr. Taffy Wagner, of Money Talk Matters, LLC. This financial education program can be purchased through  this site, www.MoneyTalkMatters.com .

Money and marriage are near and dear to my heart because this is what I live.  I am the person that came to their marriage with financial baggage and maybe different than you I did put it on the table. As a matter of fact, so did my husband. We both came to our marriage with financial baggage and we are both Christians. My husband and I are a happily married couple of 13 years that know from our own experience how to be successful at money and marriage.

When it comes to dealing with financial baggage which can be anything from  - slow pays, homelessness, debt, bankruptcy, cleaning up credit, family and money, becoming parents, job loss, spending, student loans, bad credit, business decisions affecting finances and relationships – we have experienced it.

When I say this morning, Money and Marriage is My Ministry,  it is a ministry for me that I do not take lightly. I thought back to when I was interviewed by US News and World Reports - a question she asked was does faith impact money? I had soooo much fun answering that question because it does when you are a Christian, believer.  I am here to listen, then encourage and provide solutions that work to:

• Couples that are in church whose finances are funny and they do not understand but do not think they can reach out to anyone for help because they believe they will be judged or their situation will become church staff gossip

• Couples who are embarrassed to even say we have made wrong decisions and want to get our money and marriage right. We don’t want money being a reason we get divorced.

• Individuals who are tired of making wrong financial decisions but need help in cleaning it up.  

• Anyone that want help in the area of money and marriage without judgment and condemnation. 

• The person that has fear when it comes to money.

Regardless of what you think, you can come out of financial frustration today. As far as I am concerned, Christian Marriages should be setting the example for those not of faith and encourage them to want to be a Christian. But I know that is not what has happened.   

It is time to equip Christian marriages with life skills to sustain marriages and not let them be a divorce statistic.  Let me address this – do you have to be a Christian to contact me? No, you do not and I will continue to provide you with solutions based on what I know works. 

Christian or not, when you are given solutions it will be your choice whether or not you utilize the information and move beyond financial frustation and begin the path of financial independence.

Pre-marital money talks before marriage can alleviate I believe a lot of financial stress in the marriage later. You know the saying better late than never. Well in this case, I like better early bird gets the worm. Why? Simply for the fact that when people have chosen to not disclose about their finances the repercussions can be devastating.

Marriage takes two people who are committed to their relationship which involves work. That same holds true when it comes to the money and marriage component. As a matter of fact, I listened to an audio interview on US News and World Reports with Ms. Palmer. Click the link and listen.

Weigh in – what do you think about Premarital Money Talks?

Today I had the honor of being interviewed by Vernon Harleston of The High Road show on Blogtalk Radio along with Mary Chatman, President/CEO of Creations of Love. Let me share that this was so much fun it was over before we knew it.

I don’t want to give too much away but let me share something with you… Mary and I did not talk ahead of time we went on the show knowing that our messages would mesh. That is what you call passionate about what you are doing. Marriages, Romance, Money!

The listeners were saying how much this topic is needed, even now. There’s always time for Romance and Finance talk for the benefit of marriages. What we do in our marriages is mirrored by our children when they become young adults and get married.

The time literally got away from us because we were having so much fun and imparting information that Vernon invited us back to continue the conversation at a later date. Before you go, click the link and listen in…. do not hesitate to leave a comment on the blog

Listen to the interview here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/TheHighRoad

I wanted to address this morning the separate accounts issue because I was asked about it during both interviews last night. In a time when couples are preparing to walk down the aisle and other couples are dealing with financial challenges, I felt it was time to share it on this blog.

My position on whether a couple should have separate accounts is detailed below:

1) If you are engaged and either one of you have debt, it is my recommendation that the accounts remain separate until the debt is cleaned up. Furthermore, there are some banks that might not add a spouse to the bank account if they have debt. Keep that in mind.

2) It is acceptable to have a separate account (Do not stop reading at this point) for pampering each other and having the ability to surprise one another with the understanding that the husband and wife have access to each of these accounts and is knowledgeable of what is in the account.

3) Once the credit is cleaned up for those that have financial challenges, then absolutely a joint account is the way to go.

At the end of the day, it boils down to do you want your marriage to have financial transparency or are you going to open the door from the outset for financial infidelity. Once financial infidelity happens and it is on the table, trust is broken, arguments begin to occur and the spouse who found out about the financial infidelity will wonder what else is being kept from him or her.

I do not condone have a separate account to utilize as a “Break away fund” meaning when I have had enough, I have more than enough money saved to break away from this marriage. When you say “I Do” those vows specifically state – For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.” Don’t take your vows lightly.

Caution: When you lose trust, it is hard to get it back. Think long and hard what statement you are making if you want separate accounts and do not have a financial issue.

Last night when I was being interviewed on It Just Can’t Be Me on Blogtalk radio, the host, Derek Eady asked me many questions. This morning I wanted to share one of those and how I responded. The question was when a couple receives a tax return, he has his account and she has her account what do I recommend as far as division.

What I shared with Derek was at the end of each year, we know taxes are completed anytime from January through April 15, 2009. Many couples know there are a couple of things or at least one item they wanted to purchase or some type of work they wanted done to their home. The couples should come together and mutually agree that one of those items is purchased. Then the couple take the remaining portion and divide it between them allowing the husband some splurge money and the wife some money to splurge.

Derek asked me for a specific percentage. Initially I was hesitant to give a percentage and explained that each couple knows their household financial situation. They have to be honest with themselves and agree to apply money towards a mutual item first and then divide the remainder. So it could be a 50/25/25 split or whatever they choose. Either way, the family should decide for the benefit of the household first.

There has been so much talk about credit cards especially in the news with the credit card reform that was signed into policy. Last night my husband was sharing with me about a public service announcement he heard on the radio about the Ten Worst Credit Cards.

After doing two interviews last night, there I was could not let that go and did some research. Prior to my reading this article, I was thinking to myself they have to discuss read the fine print from all the different offer you receive in the mail. I say that because there are some cards that when it comes to the fees that they attach to the card, once you sign and say yes to it, you are already over your limit for the year.

For the next two weeks, take a look at all the different credit card offers that come in the mail and do your own comparison. You will see exactly what I am talking about. Alright, now on to share the Ten Worst Credit Cards…. hold on to your seat. Go and check your purse or wallet to see if you have one of these.

Viewing our local, Comcast Newsmakers today – they were discussing one of the local food pantries. They were sharing how they are seeing a lot of first time people coming through the door and people are embarrased, don’t know the system.

I remember going to the food bank at the Church I attended when I was in debt and I didn’t want anyone to see me coming from the food bank. So I made sure I parked my car around the bank and did not have to walk around to the front of the church. Then there came that one time when my then fiance’ was taking me home after Church and he did not come to the back and pick me up. I had to walk around the front and was sooo embarrassed and mad at him. That day, the pride was broken.

Another aspect the interviewer from Metro Care Ring shared is they are getting food for primarily five days and they still need to access other food pantries. 

If you are in need of a food resource, there are:

Share Colorado – www.sharecolorado.com – services Colorado, Nebraska, New Mexico, South Dakota and Wyoming.

Angel Food Ministries – www.angelfoodministries.com – serve throughout the United States. View their site for complete details.