Posts Tagged ‘investment’
As I was outside with our twins today, my mind was literally racing thinking about money in marriage. Remember the average human has 55,000 thoughts per day which means 2,292 thoughts per hour and 38 thoughts every minute. So I was burning up those 38 thoughts in the few minutes I was out there.
What was coming to me was husbands and wives often need financial help but think it is going to cost them more money then they have. Therefore, they choose not to get the help and their marital finances get worse. Costly choice. I remember making choices like that. I don’t know if you have heard the saying, “You don’t know until you know.” So if you are a husband or wife that needs financial guidance, what can you do? I want to propose several solutions to you.
1) If you do not know exactly what your financial situation is, take a deep breath and order your credit report from one of the credit bureaus.
2) Write down what you do know such as what are open outstanding late bills while waiting for that credit report to arrive.
3) Write down also what you know is the amount of income being received for the household and what are your expenses that must be met each month.
4) After doing those things, take a sheet of paper and write down what the questions are that you have and need answers to.
5) Next, get on the internet and begin doing your research. Listen, cleaning up finances takes diligence and dedication and does not have to involve a lot of money. For example, you can come to this site http://www.moneytalkmatters.com and put in search words, there is also a page of calculators. You can also go to http://thewandwgroup.com for information on estate planning, personal finances and retirement and if you are searching for a way to manage your finances online you can go to http://www.moneystrands.com or even http://www.mint.com .
6) If you are seeking to speak with a counselor, then you can also contact me via my website and know that I don’t believe in people going into debt to learn how to manage their money, nor get out of debt.
When getting financial help you have to understand, you are not investing in that person that is teaching you money management you are investing in yourself, your marriage and your family for a lifetime. Do what is best for you without breaking the bank and recognizing that you cannot continue in the same fashion that you have been. If you want a different result, you have to take a different action.
This movie came highly recommended to me by a colleague, Mary Chatman, CEO of Creations of Love, Inc. I have to say WOW! This was not what I expected and it truly kept me on the edge of my seat.
Darin Dewitt Henson, Golden Brooks, Erica Campbell, Mel Jackson, Bishop Noel Jones, Darius McCrary, Hill Harper and Melissa De Sousa what a cast. There are so many dynamics in this movie, I am attempting to summarize it without giving too much away.
The below is a a familiar story that people might have actually heard in real life: Man meets woman when they are younger, fall in love and he asks her to marry him. She says yes under one condition that he would never leave her. Man is invovled in his church and woman feels as if she has taken a back seat to his duties at the church. Man says that she doesn’t come second, but any time she wants to plan something, he has a commitment at the Church. Woman feels unappreciated and unwanted. Woman has a great paying job and completes a top level degree, that no doubt her husband paid for. Woman is offered a job that is paying her more and her soon to be new boss make advances. Woman invites new boss to a dinner gathering and husband is late to the gathering and still meets her new boss and does not like him.
Woman goes to work the next day and complains to the new boss. What do you think happens next. What happens next, sets off a chain of events that you do not expect by a long shot. You will have to get a copy of this movie and add it to your library. It it soooo worth it.
Just because one person makes more money than the other in marriage, does not mean that the one who makes less is any more less driven than the one who makes a lot of money. There will always be people who think they can come into your life and give you the world, yet in the end it is a game to them. People love the chase. Don’t fall for the trap.
Money Tip #1: Do not forget about investments spouses made in each other and the marriage.
Money Tip #2: The grass may look greaner on the other side and that new person is only using different fertilizer with a devastating result.
Money Tip #3: Do not allow illegal activity to go in your house that could result in something detrimental to your family. It is not worth it.
Couple #1: Main Couple who is Rachel (Golden Brooks) and Clarence (Darrin Henson) were in a marriage that dealt with him paying for her higher college education, him being involved in the Church and her feeling as if she came second to the church. They had an adult son that did not want to work but was involved with some illegal activity.
Couple #2: Bruce and Charlene a very interesting couple. Bruce worked with Clarence at the Auto Shop and is a drinker. Charlene has a good job and loves her husband. Within this relationship they deal with alcoholism, pregnancy and physical abuse.
Not a couple: What is interesting you have Rachel’s friend, Monica who met her boss, Damion Marshall. You will have to watch the movie to find out what happens.
(1) Do not subject yourself to physical abuse in any relationship it is not worth it. That can cost you tons of money in the long run whether it is legal fees or even therapy bills.
(2) When you are in a marriage, do not let it drive you to do anything illegal or anything that would endanger your life.
(3) Make it known if someone begins flirting with you that you are happily married. Do not even let your mind begin to go there. You cannot afford the consequences of infidelity.
(4) For those that are spiritual, when it comes to involvement in your Church and your marriage, healthy boundaries must be set here too. Families should not feel as if they are paying a heavy price because of the Church.
If you are seeking guidance in money and marriage, contact Dr. Taffy via emal at drtaffy@moneytalkmatters. com
Your daughter is engaged and the wedding plans are in full force. For some of you the wedding is happening relatively soon and you continue to charge this and pay cash for that so your daughter can have the wedding of her dreams. Regardless of what the economy is doing, wedding are happening throughout the United States and worldwide.
You want this to be a day she remembers for the rest of her life. Are you prepared to protect your wedding investment or throw your money down the drain? Think about this, we have all heard money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Do you realize that the BIGGEST marital expense of them all is divorce?
Now that I have your attention parents, do something that is not the norm when it comes to paying for weddings. I’m talking about protecting your wedding investment and include life skills for your daughter’s marriage. When young women are getting married, their main focus is on their wedding day because they have dreamed about it for years, yet they do not think about what happens after the honeymoon.
I have talked with different parents over the last few months in various settings and they ask me what do I do? When I share with them that I am a money and marriage advocate, I teach couples how to communicate about money throughout the lifetime of their marriage. Their immediate response is, “I wish you had talked to my daughter before she got married.”
Have you felt like this as you have watched your daughter plan the wedding and spend your money? So how do you protect your wedding investment? Give your daughter financial skills that she can utilize throughout the life of her marriage. It does not have to be intrusive nor judgmental but in essence a tool that says this is an area where most couples struggle and have limited financial knowledge. Therefore, as your parent that wants to see your marriage succeed, I am giving you this gift of financial education that will keep on giving. Once you learn how to talk WITH your soon-to-be groom about money throughout your marriage and financial challenges you may face, you can handle anything.
Of course you could say, she is an adult and knows how to manage money. Are you thinking that or do you know 100% that she is a good money manager? If there is any doubt, get her Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar today which was created by Dr. Taffy Wagner, of Money Talk Matters, LLC. This financial education program can be purchased through this site, www.MoneyTalkMatters.com .
There may be times when people look at the rich and famous and think they are not held accountable for bad decisions they make. Well, hold on to your seat because the rich and famous face consequences just like everyone else for their bad financial decisions like everyone else.
Choices always have consequences whether good or bad. Whether it is finances, employment, business, health etc… there is always a consequence for the CHOICES we make. I would venture to say that most of the time – nothing just happens to us we make choices that result in a certain consequence. Don’t take this as a negative because it is not meant to be that way. It is to show you that YOU are in CONTROL.
When I read this story about Celebrities Financial Blunders, I wanted to share it. Just because you have the rich and famous does not mean they are immune. Listen, financial issues, debt nor taxes discriminate based on race, sex, color, creed nor religion. It is soooo equal opportunity. It does not matter who your mother, father, cousin is nor where you are employed.
Before you make that next financial decision, think about the big picture – what would the consequence be – short-term and long-term as well as who does it affect? Consider are you buying too much house which could result in foreclosure or investing in a risky stock? Or did you research your investment advisor?
What I thought this movie was going to be about and what it actually was about are two different things. This Tyler Perry movie is another great movie. Let me share a brief glimpse. Based on four couples that would get together every year, they had discussions about marriage, did exercises and rejuvenated their marriages per se. This year when the couples get together, many things transpired. The couple that I want to focus on is Angela and Marcus. Angela was a wife that had a lot to say and made sure that Marcus knew it. She would say to him I am the one, it was my money that started the hair salon where you work. She would say to him will you pay the mortgage, pay for the food, do something. Angela was the kind of woman that was very demeaning to her husband. It did not matter to her public or private, she did it all the time. On this weekend getaway secrets come out on the first morning and that spoiled the entire weekend for everyone. Later on Marcus has had enough and finds his voice. He reveals that it was HIS MONEY that started the salon.
Clearly this movie had money and marriage implications throughout. All the couples had attended college and became exactly what they said they would. The only person that did not was Sheila. However, Sheila put everything into her husband, like so many other women have done and others continue to do. He took all of her money and left her with $87.00 . You will have to watch the movie for more on Sheila.
Money Tip #1 – Do not get so wrapped up in your profession that you forget to take time for each other. Pamper each other and have fun.
Money Tip #2 – There is no benefit to embarrassing your spouse if you paid for starting a business they always wanted. It should be joint funds anyway. When you invest in your spouse, you are investing in your relationship long-term.
Money Tip #3 – Do not talk down to your spouse and demean them.
1) Secrets that eventually get revealed can tear down a marriage. Do not let someone have negative information on you that they would blackmail you with. Make sure there are no secrets from your spouse.
2) If you have financial secrets, it is better to get them out on the table prior to the spouse finding out in a way that you had not planned. This leads to distrust in the relationship. Know that is hard to get trust back once it is lost.
1) Money and marriage do not have to be difficult. People make it difficult based on their believes, past experiences and lack of information.
2) Establish mutual financial goals for your marriage.
3) Support your spouse if he or she is an entrepreneur. Ask them about their business and offer to assist if necessary. Your being supportive of them affects their success.
This is a must see for any married couples’ movie collection. Grab your copy here:
If you need a money and marriage advocate to come and speak to your audience on money and marriage, contact Dr. Taffy at firstname.lastname@example.org .