Posts Tagged ‘Mary Chatman’
A few days ago my husband and I watched Jumping the Broom and it was so much fun to get his take on this. Some of you may recall I saw this movie when it first came out and did some reviews with a Mary Chatman, President of Blackbride.com. We had a ball on Bride Groom Money Talk radio. So let me jump right into this and share his take.
When the movie started he was somewhat okay with it and about midway through, he stopped the tape and said there is a huge communication problem in this movie. I said yes it is and was apparent on all sides. The bride and her parents. He was getting really perturbed with the bride. He said she was a spoiled brat which was annoying him. But because she was needy to him, this would impact her marraige because she had that behavior. Then he started the movie back up. So we continued watching the groom’s mother and her continued dislike for the bride. This was primarily because she felt she had been disrespected by the bride not coming to meet her ahead of time. Later we found out that was the groom’s choice based on the mom’s past behavior with previous girlfriends.
Another point that he was sharing was that the groom didn’t know about his bride’s family secret until it came out that his mother put it out. The only person that knew his mom overheard the bride’s family secret was his mother’s best friend. The bride wasn’t even aware there was a secret until his mom made it a point to reveal that tidbit of information.
Of course he and I talked about the money aspect. It was ashame that the bride’s mother felt the husband was having an affair when at the end of the day it was about their investments. Yet, they don’t really touch on any of this in detail but it is sort of an underlying story. There are so many marriages that are impacted by finances that it warrants more discussion.
Overall it was a good movie.
Yesterday was quite busy. I had to go out to a meeting that morning, then return and do some follow-up emails. One of the discussion my husband and I were having as I was out that morning was what bills had been processed and he needed me to review a bill from his business account. He wanted to make sure he was right on what he had been charging a client for a specific job. There I was opening up one of my favorite programs – Quickbooks and doing the research. Easy enough!
Once I was out, I knew that I would have to do the banking at the end of the day instead of first. I was more than happy about that because I was on a MISSION! Once I’m on a mission, I will not be distracted. Went to the meeting and did what I needed to do. Then the kids and I headed back home. We already had a plan for lunch which having planned our meals for the majority of the week has helped out.
Believe me there is nothing like being real hands on with your finances. You know what comes in and what goes out. Makes it that much easier to plan and enjoy life. I was sharing with my husband on Day 7 – each day we have to make a choice when it comes to money. Do you pay this bill or do you not pay the bill and spend your money on something else. It ALL boils down to choices and what you want to experience in your life. Do you want to have a good quality of life, bills are paid, you can do what you want or will you choose to not pay the bills and be living a life full of stress and worry?
We often talk about brides and grooms, why some people hesitate in getting help? Let’s face it there are some people that are very comfortable struggling financially and being stressed. Now take a minute, because I didn’t say it was right but I am sure yo have heard there are people who don’t like trying new things. There’s usually a fear of the unknown when truly the unknown could be where you need to go.
Back to the money conversation we had today. Bills paid – check, where are we with the IRS — let’s return to that conversation. So once I told him about the IRS and we agreed to keep it between us, then the work really began on my part. I contacted the IRS and scheduled my meeting with them. Very thankful that it was the second week in May because I was due to leave for the Bridal show within three days after that phone call. Mind you, my excitement level was really high because I’d be debuting my latest book and I’d FINALLY get to meet one of my twitter friends in person.
Who would have known how much fun this was going to be. Did you notice that I didn’t let this notification nor phone call stop me from what I had already planned for the book, nor did I let it stop us from different things we had already planned for our twins. We continued to proceed right on with our plans.
Because they were auditing all of our businesses for a particular year, I had to spend a great deal of time pulling receipts, mileage charts, expenses and etc. I would hang out with the family and I went to the Blackbride.com Bridal show, met my dear friend Mary and had loads of fun. When I returned the work really began to locate documents, receipts, and all that fun stuff. Since I was the one that got all of our accounting records together every year, I had already shared with my husband that I would attend the meeting and handle things on our behalf this way he wouldn’t have to sit there with me and become frustrated. From my understanding of the video I watched, the meeting could take up to 5 hours.
So we agreed that he would keep the kids that day while I handled the meeting in May. I also would be meeting with our accountant once I returned so that he could give me some idea on how the meeting would go. Ladies and gentleman when you are not knowledgeable in an area – go to an expert and get some answers. It is worth the INVESTMENT! No need in creating a mess when you don’t have to.
Join me tomorrow as I share more about IRS.
Money and Marriage Lessons for today:
1) Do not tell everyone what you are going through when it comes to finances because they will express their fear and anxiety and if you are not careful, you will take on those feelings when they are not warranted.
2) Continue on with your plans whenever a financial situation arise. Believe me it is all in how you handle situations that determine how you will come out of it. Expect a GREAT report and it shall be. If you are expecting negativity and doom and gloom – so be it. You decide what you prefer to experience.
3) When a husband and wife are in agreement, they are UNSTOPPABLE!
4) Know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and work together accordingly.
Money and Marriage Encouragement Today: When a financial challenge arise, take the time to think about the big picture and consequences.
Ladies and Gentleman, last week was one of the best weeks that I have had in a long time. It was a week filled with faciliating Money and Marriage Teleseminars during National Marriage Week. I must say WOW! What a week it was. Thank you to Rev. Angela Chester who kicked off our week with Faith and Finances. Talk about setting the tone and knowing that you have to STAND on YOUR FAITH in Good time and Bad, whew – she set the tone. She shared about women encouraging their husband’s and that the “MALE EGO is VERY FRAGILE” how you must be careful, especially in faith and marriage.
When Tuesday came, I was ready to hear what Mary Chatman, CEO of Love Life Designs, LLC was going to say. She shared with the audience how it is important to keep romance alive even after several years have passed by. How your tone is also a factor in marriage. Mary shared how couples have to talk about romance and their desires, furthermore that it is more than sexuality. Then she got into how romance appears to take a back seat when the finances are not right. We briefly talked about wives talking with their girlfriends about their relationship and how that shouldn’t happen because girlfriends cannot change their marriage.
From there Wednesday came and the Black Marriage and Money panel was ready for it. Dr. Harold Arnold, Talayah Stovall and Christine Pembleton came on the scene and set the record straight when it comes to Black Marriage and Money. They started out saying yes the statistic is there; however, who was the group that was looked at, furthermore if you start buying into all of the statistics or propoganda we make it a fulfilled prophecy by living it. Oooh, this conversation was “ON”. This panel ROCKED – discussing youth, media, marriage and money and we felt as if we only scratched the surface. Before we knew it, we were out of time. Stay tuned there will be another time when we get together.
Thursday came in with much EXCITEMENT and I knew it was going to be another night of affecting CHANGE and INSPIRATION for those on the call. Teisha Shelby Houston was no joke. This SISTER, MOTHER, WIFE, Entrepreneur discussed the essentials of communciating with the spouse about being an entrepreneur, as well as RESPECTING EACH OTHER… whew. I tell you what she said, it’s okay if you have to get a job while building your business and continue moving forward. Teisha shared a lot just like each EXPERT and one of the things that was CRUCIAL when it comes to being an Entrepreneur is RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH. I am telling you they all know their stuff.
As the week of teleseminars was coming to an end with Suzanne Mayo, Director of Black America Saves I was still filled with soooo much excitement. Suzanne was on the teleseminar and from the JUMP talked about the importance of Saving. Thinking BIG and Starting Small. As long as you start, it will get BIGGER. Suzanne shared from personal experience and even expanded this discussion into Health and Wealth and how if your health is having some issues, more than likely your money is too. Whoooo. I second that. I have seen people that have financial issues which causes stress and then they began to have symptoms of health issues, they go to the doctor and they cannot figure out what is wrong. We could have went on for hours.
As I said this was a great week and it has only just begun. Definitely stay tuned to this blog for more teleseminars, courses and chats. Money and marriage is a lifestyle like no other. Its time you work it to your benefit and not your detriment.