Posts Tagged ‘mistake’
I love it when I find stories like this that reaffirm what I have been saying. Naturally when I found this one, I had to share this. This article talks about the 5 Costly Money Mistakes Newlyweds Make
One of the five mistakes is a lack of communication. That does not surprise me because we both know that money is still a “Taboo” subject when getting married. Even in 2009 with everything that is going on with the economy, sometimes money is not being discussed in the manner it should be.
I must admit when I read about this couple who are newly married but lived together for seven years, purchased a home after they got married stated that they realized financial decisions can be some of the toughest.
Makes me wonder what were they doing when they lived together! Were they keeping things separate and not even talking about joint finances for seven years or what do we do if this… since we are under one roof. Now, I am not advocating living together prior to marriage -what I am pulling from this article is it appears couples have not thought about married life.
A second one is a failure to plan. To me this goes without saying because when you are unprepared, financial challenges can tear down a relationship really fast, cause husbands and wives to point the finger at each other and lead to all sorts of stress in the marriage. This can happen whether you are a newlywed or married for a longer period of time.
A third one is handing over control. When it comes to managing finances for the marriage, I am a huge believer in including the person that is not the money manager. They need to be aware of all the details – how the bills are paid, when, the account numbers, the automatic deductions and more. Do not set your spouse up for financial disarray by not including them in the financial picture.
What do you think are the costly money mistakes?
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Money has many roles in our lives. Yet at the same time being something that most everyone wants, it is also one thing that many have limited knowledge in how to manage. With limited knowledge people manage money by trial and error thereby causing other mistakes. Look at these statistics for example:
1 in 3 marriages deal with financial infidelity
Money is one of the top reasons for divorce
The average college students has over $20,000 in debt when they graduate.
From a survey of married couples, only 14% said that income, debts and assets should be disclosed before marriage.
These are only the beginning of statistics that are out there. Money is a tough subject that changes lives good or bad. A lot of people remain in financial stress and unhappiness because of these three words that are the toughest to say…… I NEED HELP
If you cannot say these words, you stay in financial stress and difficulty. Once you step out and say these words your life can change. I remember when I said those words – it was very hard and even made me cry but once I did it, things began to change.
Caution: Do not let pride keep you in the vicious cycle of debt.
Are you making more financial mistakes this morning without even trying and your spouse is fed up? Is he or she barely hanging in there with you because the mistakes are soooo many that they are ready to throw in the towel? If this is you, then keep on reading and know that there are some steps that you MUST take.
First and foremost admit to yourself that you are not good at managing money. Re-evaluate how you managed money over the last six months. Consider the following:
a) Did you pay the bills on time?
b) Did your checking account become overdrawn at any point?
c) Did you spend money frivolously that should have went towards the bills?
d) Did you forget about an automatic deduction that only comes out quarterly and it affected your account?
How many times during the six months did that happen? Maybe it is time that you turned over managing money to the spouse. Then forgive yourself because you have limited financial knowledge which is one of the reasons you have made some of these mistakes.
Second, go and ask your spouse to forgive you for the mistakes that you have made. Ask them to sit down with you and discuss the finances so you can turn over managing the money to them. You are no longer comfortable doing it and do not want to hurt the family’s finances in this way. Understand while the spouse is managing the money you want to talk with them about how they manage the money and see what is done.
Third, stop using credit cards. Literally put them away. Do not create more debt, but order your credit report to truly see what debt you have. Remember, the majority of the time debt does not occur overnight – it is slow but once it happens it continues to spiral out of control unless you take action.
Fourth, establish realistic mutual financial goals per month. I am not talking about saying we are going to pay off every bill in 30 days. I am saying look at what your bills are, what your income is and place your bills on a schedule for paying them off. Caution: Do not create a bigger financial mess by being unrealistic.
Do not take what I have shared lightly. For some of you, your relationship – your marriage is on the line and you must make a change. Do not be in denial about your choices. Every choice has a consequence good or bad. Choose this day to take a stand in your finances for your marriage. If you want my help, then contact me and let’s work together.
Let’s have some fun with truth this post. Prepare yourselves because it could hit some hard and others will read it and still not do anything.
When our car breaks down, the first thing we do is call a mechanic or take our car to a mechanic.
When we do not feel well, we go to the doctor.
When our vision is blurred or we think we are not reading clearly, we go to the eye doctor.
When we do not hear clearly, we go to an ear doctor.
When we have financial challenges and are making financial mistakes, look at what happens:
1) Because of embarrassment, we do not talk to anyone. Consequently we make even more mistakes.
2) We attempt to ignore the problem, thereby ruining our credit.
3) If in a marriage, we point the finger and blame the other spouse. Which causes anger in the relationship and causes stress.
4) Our work performance deteriorates because we are constantly thinking about our lack of money to pay the bills.
5) If you are single and have borrowed money from friends, we stay away from our friends.
6) Money problems lead to divorce in marriage because there is a communication breakdown.
7) We do not talk to anyone for fear of being judged.
Yet in every situation prior, we consult the most likely person who has the expertise to fix the problem or provide recommendations on solutions.
Why not in finances? Do you like where you are in your finances today? Or, do you want to make a change? If you want to make a change – Dr. Taffy is in the financial house and ready to help you.
You have to do something different in order to get better results. I know some of you will read this and agree with it, yet not take any action. I wish you well. But for those of you who take a stand today and say I want to make better financial decisions, get ready for your path to GREATNESS in financial achievement.
I was doing research earlier today and discovered this story titled More people are saying it: Is marriage a mistake? As a money and marriage advocate, you should know titles such as this ruffles my feathers. Even still I continued to read the story.
The story says, “Today, the typical American adult is unmarried, either living a solitary life or residing with unrelated persons. Marriage, long in decline, is now a minority institution and shows no signs of revival.”
This is my personal opinion – one of the main reasons marriage is in a decline and now a minority is because of the picture that is painted about marriage. Prime example is the article I just cited. Furthermore, Time magazine had a cover this week titled: Is There Hope for the American Marriage? Then it goes on to show photographs of 3 political figures and Kate and Jon Gosselin.
Alright – TIME OUT. My personal opinion, these couples and people do not represent the majority of the marriages in the United States. They are not examples of every day households and therefore DO NOT get to be the rule for whether or not a marriage will work or if it is a mistake.
A marriage involves two people that takes work on the part of both people. Sure marriages have challenges which could be financial which if not handled properly can cause the marriage to end in divorce. However, if the two people who took those vows are true to their vows and each other, then they will make the effort to work through the financial challenges together.
When infidelity is committed and the other person happens to find out via the media, then the faithful person has a lot to think about in regards to their health, if they choose to remain in the marriage or divorce and if there are kids involved what happens. People need to be honest with themselves and not take their marriages lightly or for granted.
It sickens me that people have patterned their lives after television, politicians and celebrities. Live the life you are meant to live. Your marriage is sacred and should be cherished, not easily tossed away at the first sign of a challenge. What does that say about you? One thing is for sure, people are always watching you whether its family or not. Whether you are a high profile person or not – people are always watching.
Marriage is not a mistake. Do not be swayed by what you see on television or read in the newspapers. There are very successful marriages out that involve everyday people.