Posts Tagged ‘money issues’

postheadericon Marriage and Caring for Each Other

If you thought that a marriage could succeed on love alone, please rethink. Love is transitory. The mutual attraction or the infatuation that comes in the initial phase of love disappears soon. Then you know the honeymoon is over. Once money issues start, love tends to go out the window. After that what is left is the feeling that he/she is mine and I am his/hers. We have to journey together.

How a marriage changes in character after love disappears? This can occur in many ways. For example, the couple may begin regretting the marriage after the finishing of initial love phase. Or the couple may continue together as a sense of duty with each other and begin making a life together without passionate love. That needs caring for each other.

If you look back and think of marriages few decades back, most of the couples cared for each other. They called it love. It was essentially caring. A mother cares for her children because they are her responsibility and they belong to her. Similarly, partners care for each other because they got married. This kind of thought process can take the marriage last forever. The different thought processes of I want my freedom. I made a mistake. I am not happy with you. I must search for somebody better and so on leads to break-up. This thought process is I centered, where as the earlier one I described was care centered. You are mine and I must care for you.

We have to learn to respect human beings. We have to set aside our selfish desires for some time. We have to think about destruction that takes place by frequent marriage and divorce. Developing the thought of care for each other can surely help in making a marriage last longer.

postheadericon Brides and Grooms dealing with Money Matters

Congratulations to all the engaged couples that are dealing with money matters during the engagement! Does that sound strange? It should not because better now than later to be discussing money matters. Talking about who is going to manage the money, what are the existing debts being brought into the marriage and much more can save you from a lot of grief, headaches, nights where you go to bed upset with each other because of financial stress – believe me it is not worth it.

When you stand across the altar from the one you love, those first few months to couple of years should be spent nurturing the relationship, having fun as you learn more about each other as a husband and wife, the quirks, the habits and so much more. Coming into a marriage with debt that has not been discussed is setting the marriage up for division and a lack of trust in the marriage. Once trust is gone in the relationship, it is hard to get it back.

If you are engaged and wonder what you should be talking about, the following is a beginning point:

1) What student loans are being brought to the marriage?

2) What credit card debt is being brought to the marriage?

3) What happends when a financial emergency arises? What do each of you think would be the best way to get a financial unexpected emergency handled?

4) Who is going to be better at managing money?

By all means are these the end all of all the questions. This is a starting point. The idea is not to overwhelm and frustrate each other to a point of not wanting to discuss finances. You should talk about finances with the idea of resolving challenges and having a game plan. Financial discussions can lead to greater intimacy in a marriage.

When there are no financial problems, the fun can truly begin pampering each other just because you love one another. It does not have to be a special day – each day you spend with each other is a GREAT day.

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