Money Talk Matters

Posts Tagged ‘money mistakes’

I have been busy over the last few weeks between the kids, my husband and I talking and evaluating our businesses over and over it has been lots of fun. Communciation is key when you are married. Talking with your loved one about the concerns you have, your dreams, your goals and even the things that you are afraid of. Yes, that’s right I said if there are things you are afraid of open up about them as well.

From day one, my husband and I have always been each other’s biggest supporter. Having said that it was fun talking about the growth we want to see in each of the businesses and stepping out of the box to make it happen. Believing in ourselves and what we have to offer was absolutely great. What would you do if your spouse was your biggest encourager? Where do you think your marriage and money would be if you were on the same page and had mutual financial goals?

I have watched different Court tv shows which some are my favorite, but when I watch these people I think what were they thinking when they say I Do. Clearly some people were not thinking. It is evident that they should not have been getting married because they were too young and not ready to be someone’s spouse.

Marriage and money means working together and not against each other. There will be issues come up that you do not even expect but believe this if you can work THROUGH them together, your marriage will be stronger for it.

The idea when you say “I Do” should be to be married for a lifetime. With marriage comes different challenges and issues. Your first thought should be how can we work it out instead of its your fault and I am out of here.  You didn’t get married to suddenly be divorced and single. Together you can accomplish much.

Brides – if your fiance does not make any money, how are you going to handle that? In everything you do, you must have a plan whether it be education, career, purchasing a car, buying a house and even getting married. Each of these areas involve money and it is not wise to make decisions with your eyes closed.

Financial decisions have long lasting effects if made carelessly. So if you are engaged at this point and your fiance does not make any money, let me provide some “food for thought”. Hold on to your seat because that does not mean I am going to say break off the engagement. Continue reading below.

Questions to ask yourself if your fiance does not make any money. Make sure you can answer these questions based on your own observations of him, by talking with him and what you know is true:

1) Is your fiance a hardworker, but poor at managing money?

2) Does he feel that he should not have to work, but think things should just be given to him?

3) Does he have bills?

4) When you and your fiance go out, who pays for dinner, movies or whatever the activity is?

5) If your fiance does not work, what was his last job and why did he quit?

6) Does he want to start his own business?

7) How are the wedding expenses being handled?

After the wedding, where do you and your fiance plan to live?

9) Does your fiance have dreams and goals for himself?

10) What does your fiance’s credit report look like?

11) Was he married before, if so was money one of the reasons the marriage ended?

Brides, when you take a trip and you plan on driving you have a map and you map out your course. If you are like me, you map it out in complete detail even to where your gas stops will occur. When you are planning on getting married to someone that you are going to share your life with, it should not be any different. Take the time and get these questions answered. Do not ignore the fact that his not making any money is bothering you.

PLEASE PLEASE pay attention to the little red flag that is raised. It should bother you and that means it is worth discussing and not being swept under the rug. If it is necessary – get Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar financial education program which teaches couples how to communicate about money in a non-threatening manner.

Brides, Grooms, Husbands and Wives take a note. When you enter into marriage realize that prior to your saying I do, you had a life outside of your mate. That life included making financial decisions that were good and some financial decisions that might have been not as good. The money mistakes are a part of you if you chose not to clean them up prior to marriage and are a part of your marriage.

They are a part of your marriage because you will think about them. Once your spouse finds out about them voluntarily or involuntarily is entirely up to you. The result can be different. The question I ask you today is this: Could the financial baggage that is surfacing in your relationship becoming detrimental to the welfare of your union? If so, then what are the steps that you are taking to remove the baggage.

Baggage in itself is not a good thing. Usually tied to baggage of any nature is emotions which leads people to act hastily without thinking about all of the consequences.  Remember, every decision you make has a consequence. Take a few minutes to think long term and not short-term when it comes to your decisions.

The only time that I know of that baggage is good is if it is luggage and you are taking a much deserved vacation. Otherwise financial baggage is not good, revisiting old girlfriends or boyfriend baggage is not good and even previous employment situations that had baggage is not good. It is time to have a clear picture of what you want and where you want your finances and marriage to go.

With that in mind, quit living your past in the present. Live the PRESENT now and take care of NOW, TODAY and the future will take care of itself. This is not a time to keep looking behind you or you will miss opportunities in your present to get your finances in order, to impact your marriage for a lifetime and much more. Sure, it could be thought of as “Not the Norm” – it’s about time. Going along with the norm has ended marriages, caused separations and stopped people from talking about money in marriage. It is a New Day and time for New Financial Beginnings and Plans.

Don’t ignore the baggage.  Baggage  can overtake you or be overwhelming to your spouse. Talk with your spouse today, develop a plan to remove it and BEGIN removing it. You can talk about things all day BUT until you take action it’s just TALK.  JUST DO IT! BE IT!