Posts Tagged ‘Morris Chestnut’

postheadericon Marriage and Money Movie #24 – The Brothers

Stop the Press! This was one of the best movies I had seen and it was not what I suspected. Favs on the screen Shemar Moore, Bill Bellamy, DL Hugley, Tatyana Ali, Jennifer Lewis and Morris Chestnut. Haven’t seen this one in quite a while but sure enough it will probably come on TV within the next couple of weeks because I said that.

Lots of dynamics in this movie and let’s see if I can hit the highlights of this one.

Jackson (played by Morris Chestnut) he is a doctor and has major commitment issues. Found it interesting that he had a dream of a woman in a wedding dress with a gun.

Brian (played by Bill Bellamy) who is a lawyer and has a very distorted view of women. This is due in part to his mother and her lack of affection towards him and his brother which carried over into his adulthood.

Derrick (played by DL Hughley) he is the married and devoted man that would like to try different sexual things with his wife and she is all about one way.

Terry (played by Shemar Moore) who is the womanizer and yet the one who is settling down.

Money Implications:
Regardless of what happens with your parents, even when you are an adult, handle your financial responsibilities. Jackson’s parents even though they were divorced, they counted on him. So did his sister.

When it comes to Brian whose mother did not show him any affection, he did not let his emotions stop him from pursuing his profession as a lawyer. He even said that the younger brother could move in with him. Very responsible individual.

Money Tip #1: Manage your money. These gentleman did take care of business regardless of what was happening.

Money Tip #2: Husbands and wives you should be talking openly about finances throughout your marriage.

Money Tip #3: Money and marriage is a commitment, take it one step at a time.

Money Tip #4: If you make a financial mistake, learn from it and make better decisions the next time.

Observations:
Commitment can cause people to be afraid. Stop and ask yourself what are you afraid of and why. Then make sure you do not carry that baggage into any new relationship especially if it leads to marriage.

Jackson’s dream did come true about the woman standing there in a bridal gown with a gun. It was not his bride though and the woman had just lost it. Brides and grooms a lot of pressure comes with wedding plan and making sure everything is just right on that day. Take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. Keep the lines of communication open.

Recommendations:
(1) Do not wait until a problem arise in the finances to talk about money. You should be talking about money in marriage all the time, evaluating goals and making adjustments where necessary.

(2) Take your vows seriously. Recognize that husbands and wives are partners and are supposed to be there for each other in good times and bad, rich and poor. If a husband and wife can make it through financial difficulty and come out on the other side, then they can handle anything.

(3) Do not let what happens with or in your parents marriage dictate your stand on marriage and relationships. If you do, you could end up in a very serious and devastating situation.

Life happens and you are the one that controls how you HANDLE life.

If you need a financial education program that you can utilize throughout your marriage, go to http://www.moneytalkmatters.com/products and get your copy of Money Talk Before the Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar today.

postheadericon Marriage and Money Movie #12 – The Best Man

This movie has several of my favorites again Taye Diggs, Morris Chestnut, Nia Long, Sanaa Lathan and Terrance Howard. It is always my goal not to spoil it for you if you have not seen the movie, so here is my brief recap.

Harper Stewart (Taye Diggs), who is a writer and The Best Man at the wedding of Lance (Morris Chestnut) and Mia (Monica Calhoun). The three of them went to college together. Lance was a football player and becomes  a pro player. Needless to say he lived up to the reputation of a football player being physically intimate with all the girls. Then he meets Mia and decides he needs to be with her. Harper tends to dissuade him saying she is a “good, Church going girl”. Eventually Lance and Mia do hook up and he plans on marrying her. The weekend prior to The Wedding, all of their old college friends get together in celebration of this upcoming union. Harper’s book comes out and they discover he has captured their lives in print but changed their names. He tries to say that it is fiction. Lance believes he is the only person Mia has ever slept with but according to Harper’s book secrets begin to come out… You will have to see the movie to get all the juicy details. It is a GREAT movie.

Money implications:

Once secrets are revealed, it can alter the course of a relationship either temporarily or permanently. Whether they are salvageable or not depends on the people in the relationship. These young people set out to accomplish different professions and they did it. It did not change them and they were genuinely happy for each other.

The character Terrance Howard played tried several different things and was talented. The bottom line is he did not stop at one thing  – he kept on going. The bride-to-be was comfortable in who she was and so was the groom regardless of what anyone thought.

Nia Long’s character, Jordan was an independent business woman that had everything going on. Yet she was not in a relationship. Although while they were in college, something almost happened between her and Harper. She is very career focused which happens with many women. Once their career is at a certain point, then they think about dating and/or marriage.

Julian was a teacher and content doing that job, yet his girlfriend Shelby all the college friends did not like. Shelby was a woman that was into shopping and prestige. She wanted Julian to return to become a lawyer and he is not interested. She also was big on pouting if she did not get her way. You will have to watch the movie to find out what happens.

Observation:

One of the main secrets revealed almost caused this wedding not to happen after a lot of money had been spent. It does not matter if you are on the bride’s side or the groom’s side, if a wedding is called off after the money has been spent and you cannot get deposits back it can upset everyone. Granted if you found out something the night before that you just could not live with, then those expenses would not amount to what it could costs you later. Be true to yourself and decide what you need to do. Think about the big picture not just the short-term. CAUTION: Too many people rush into a wedding trying to save face. They are more concerned with what people are going to think about them instead of their true feelings about getting married and the person they are marrying. Do not get into the habit of trying to please people.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

1) Financial secrets can tear down trust in a relationship and marriage. Share your financial background upfront and if the fiance’ cannot handle it then you are better off.

2) Be comfortable in who you are. That means if you are comfortable being the homemaker then be the homemaker. If you are employed outside the home, then you are employed outside the home. Have the discussion about what the role of the husband is and what the role of the wife is according to how each of you see it –  not what your parents think. Talk about the respective roles and agree. If you choose not to talk about it, it can be costly in the long term.

3) Husbands and wives have to believe in each other and support them in their individual dreams as well.  At the end of the day, it does affect the household bottom line. Do not be so short-sighted that you think it is only about you. Once you said “I Do” it is no longer “ALL ABOUT YOU”.

Definitely one for the library:

postheadericon Marriage and Money Movie #2 – Not Easily Broken

I must share when I went to see this movie, I hadn’t been to the movies in a very long time. Busy mom of twins and so I was treating myself that day with “Mommy” time. For at least ten minutes, I was in there by myself. I can’t say I was necessarily surprised.

I don’t want to give too much away in case you have not seen the movie but from a money and marriage aspect – wow, I have much to share. Briefly – Boy meets girl, they become high school sweethearts. Boy and girl get married. His dreams of being a pro athelete are shattered by injury. Woman gets a corporate job — makes lots of money. Holds it over man’s head.

First – I did not enjoy how she continued to demean him. Understand this the Power of Speech is crucial in a relationship. Instead of building up their relationship, she continued to tear it down, including when it came to his JOB.

Money Tip for Wives: Do not talk down to your mate about his business or his job. This affects you as well. Sounding unappreciative of what he does and continuing to bring this before him will eventually get old and they could go to someone else that would appreciate what they are doing.

Second –  When the husband had to take over the finances, it was very clear he was not aware of what the bills were. All we see are bills on the table and a look on his face in unbelief. You did not see bill collectors calling at all hours and him trying to figure out how to pay the bills.

Money Tip: Regardless of who manages the money in the household, both husband and wife need to know what is happening with the household personal finances. Share with them what bills have to be paid on the first of the month, what has to be paid midmonth – to who, how much and how it is paid — whether check or automatic deductions from certain accounts. Let them know what is paid quarterly, annually and monthly.

Third –  Remember when you came into your marriage, both of you had dreams. Do not sacrifice one person’s dream for the other. In this movie that did happen because the wife felt because she brought the money, that her dreams were more important which made him feel inadequate.

Money Tip: Agree to go for both husband and wife’s dreams which can only enhance your marriage relationship even more. Help each other achieve those goals because in the end there will be a part of it that deals with finances. Imagine if the husband and wife both achieved those career goals and all the bills were paid off and you could take vacations every other month or donate to causes important to both of you or buy that dream house or start that family. There are a myriad of things husbands and wives can do together successfully when they are on the “same page”.

Fourth: When they were at the restaurant and she wanted to pay the bill, he knew they did not have the money but she insisted on paying the bill. Then one of her clients, ended up having to pay the bill.

Money Tip: Talking about Money is very important. It is a conversation that is more than a one time conversation. Talk about money throughout the week so everyone is clear on what is happening with money in the house. No husband or wife is a mind reader, especially when it comes to finances. It does not matter how long you have been married, Money Talk Matters. Talk about it, talk about it and gain insight and understanding.

Brief Aside: If you talk negative about your spouse to your family, that is how they will see that mate. It is hard to undo negative speech about someone you love. Choose your words carefully.

If you have not seen this movie, purchase below:

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