Posts Tagged ‘mutual financial goals’
Today, I was doing my research and reading on Marriage and Money of course. I came across this story on Abcnews.com titled Marriage and Money: Husbands get the financial benefit – which I would strongly recommend you read.
This article discusses how women today are bringing home more income than their husbands. Some find it difficult to cope with. I must share with you, my husband and I have always been of the mindset that it does not matter who brings home more or less as long as the household bills are taken care of. We have experienced in our marriage seasons where his income has been greater for several years and then other years mine has been greater. Regardless, we have always taken care of our household and did not let that become an issue for us.
Caution: Do not get caught up in what “SOCIETY” has to say about the husband bringing home more money than the woman or even vice versa. What husbands and wives should focus on at the end of the day is what works for their marriage, are their mutual financial goals being accomplished and are the household finances being taken care of. That is all that matters.
Do not even allow friends or family members to speak negatively about either spouse’s earning potential. It is all about you and your husband (and kids if applicable) but that’s it.
Brides and grooms there is no reason to fear discussing money before marriage if your soon to be spouse is your best friend, the person you can talk to about everything and the one you are marrying for love and not money. Regardless of what financial mistakes that were made prior to your saying “I Do”, you should put the cards on the table.
There are a variety of benefits to discussing money before marriage such as:
(1) Trust – If you can openly and honestly discuss your finances before you get marriage this can increase the level of trust within your marriage. This could say to your future spouse that you trust them and love them enough to share even the not so pretty picture so they are not broadsided later by an ugly truth.
(2) Teamwork – This presents to your future spouse teamwork versus division because of money. Discussing money before marriage allows both sides to see what each other did right and what mistakes might have been made. Furthermore, the two of you can come together and discuss a way to resolve financial issues together. This in itself can reveal how you will handle financial challenges once you are married.
(3) Financial Goals – Talking about money early gives you an opportunity to establish mutual financial goals. This gives you a glimpse into what you have to look forward to once you are married and how you can think about the short and long-term consequences of decisions made. You will see whether each one will fight to have their own way or be willing to compromise and work for the benefit of the relationship.
(4) Can keep you from being a statistic – Discussing money before marriage instead of keeping financial secrets from your groom to be, could keep your marriage from becoming a divorce statistic due to the lack of financial discussions.
Grooms make a note: If you have to support your bride-to-be financially before marriage make sure that all the cards are on the table beforehand. What is good about this is the opportunity to find out the good, bad and ugly about each other’s financial background. What each of you have done and what you plan to do for your future?
Now is the time to find out why you need to support the bride-to-be financially and is it due to her mismanagement of funds. If she is working, then the two of you need to talk about money management skills. What have you done and you already know that she is having some issues? How do you plan to move forward because one of the first things that you need to decide as husband and wife if not before is who will manage the money for your marriage.
You do not want to go into your marriage managing money by trial and error. Debt after a wedding impacts the marriage relationship like nothing else in the beginning. It robs husbands and wives of the opportunity to learn about each other and nurture their relationship. They almost automatically go into fight mode because of the financial strain that they are facing.
Take this time to talk about each other’s financial background and establish a new financial foundation for your marriage, who will manage the money and pay the bills as well as mutual financial goals to pay off debt, plan for vacations, buying a house and more. Think long-term and not just for today.
One of my favorite Money and Marriage Tips that I often post on Twitter is the biggest expense of marriage is …. DIVORCE. Well, well how about that the New York Times released an article on October 23, 2009 and in the very beginning it says, “But most couples don’t realize that divorce can also be among the most ruinous financial moves anyone can make.”
Money Talks To Have Before Marriage continued to share the affects of divorce affect far more people. Divorce is not just about the husband and the wife, it affects the children, relatives and friends of those spouses. It is very costly. The author of this article states, He has wanted to devote a series to divorce and money for a long time and decided to start with discussing finances which could save some marriages if people made it a priority”.
Money and Marriage should be a lifestyle of open communication about finances, establishing and achieving mutual financial goals as well as removing financial stress and strain from the relationship. When financial stress takes over the relationship, husbands and wives tend to forget about the loving and nurturing part of their relationship. Dreams are forgotten. Pointing the finger becomes the norm and shifting the blame. Blaming each other does not solve the financial challenges.
Brides-to-be, grooms, and even newlyweds take note. Sure you can spend thousands of dollars on your wedding, but what will you do to ensure that your marriage lasts for a lifetime?