Posts Tagged ‘premarital counseling’

postheadericon Benefit of Premarital Financial Counseling

Bride and Groom, Engaged Couples the benefits of premarital financial counseling are many. First and foremost it teaches couples up front that money is a topic that should not remain taboo and ignored if for no other reason, that is it one of the top reasons for divorce. Frankly it costs more to get divorced that it does to get married.

Premarital financial counseling is what it says pre-marital meaning financial counseling that occurs before you get married that can benefit you throughut the lifetime of the marriage. Understand that this should not be a one hour or a 30 minute talk about your finances and then you are sent on your way to muddle through “money and marriage.” Premarital financial counseling should be focused specifically on finances for a certain length of time and be somewhat interactive with couples.

When you are sitting in front of a counselor with your soon-to-be spouse in the room, you could answer things a way that the bride or groom expects you to answer but it might not be the truth. The premarital financial counselor should be interested in getting to the bottom of any financial issues that exist between the couple.

Additionally, the couple has to be honest and participate in the premarital financial counseling which will help them in making decisions when they are no longer in the presence of the counselor. Premarital financial counseling should include finances, relationships and even employment discussions between the couple.

It is not just about there are going to be some hard time, but should also focus on solutions for topics that have not even been discussed. There are times when financial discussions could get heated but if you remember to stay in a position of the decisions we make today will affect tomorrow and as well as consider the long-term consequences, you will do alright. Do not get swayed by the short-term solution (band-aid).

If you are interested in premarital financial counseling and don’t have someone local that you can talk to, contact me. We can conduct premarital financial counseling via telechat or email.

postheadericon Brides & Grooms – What are your goals for Premarital Counseling?

When my husband and I became engaged, we knew that we were destined to be together. Throughout our dating we had been talking about our past, previous people we dated, my husband’s previous marriages and what we were looking for in a partner. The discussion came up about whether or not, we needed to go to premarital counseling.

Brides and Grooms, I ask you today – what are your goals for premarital counseling? Look at the options below and you decide:

(1) To ensure you and your future spouse have the necessary skills to make your marriage work for a lifetime?

(2) Is it because everyone says you have to yet your heart is not in it?

(3) It is required by the church you attend to be married there?

What areas do you expect to discuss in premarital counseling? Compatibility, Communication, Goals or even finances? If you discuss those issues, how much time do you expect to spend talking about each?

Premarital counseling can be crucial to any relationship. I know that my husband and I did not attend premarital counseling because we were talking about everything even prior to our engagement. We had shared the positives and negatives about relationships we had, financial mistakes we made and what we looked for in a mate. We did not see a benefit to holding anything back.

One of the things I remember saying to him, was do not let anyone have information about you that I do not know about.  No one should walk up to me and tell me something about my husband trying to embarrass me or say I know something you don’t know. I don’t believe in MESS or DRAMA. He did not either.

Prior to marriage is a great time to talk about your finances, dreams and goals that you have. The more you talk you will discover this is someone ou can see yourself with for life or you cannot. Begin talking today.

postheadericon Who is saving marriages? Is it secularism?

Yes, I am a researcher to my heart. As I was researching marriage articles this morning, I discovered this article that was in a column of USA Today titled Is secularism saving marriages? I continued to read because that title had me interested. It discusses how men and women are perceiving themselves as mutual partners which transforms marriages.

I wholeheartedly agree with that. The article seems to think that the religious community does not get that. At the end of the day, whether you are spiritual or not, your beliefs about marriage and what you would like to see happen in your marriage will guide you in your relationship.

I am proud to see more people taking premarital counseling and learning to work together. When married couples have situations, they have always had the ability to choose I thought who they sought guidance from. For some they will turn to their Pastor, others will see experts in that field and that is okay too. What matters is that the couples take action and get the guidance that they need in order to sustain their relationship.

Marriage does take work from the husband and wife. Both parties must be willing to do what it takes to make their marriage work. It is not always about being right but being able to forgive, not holding on to the past, accepting responsibility for choices made and moving forward for the benefit of the marriage. Nobody is perfect.

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