Posts Tagged ‘shopper’

postheadericon Savers and Spenders Marry all the Time

The topic of savers and spenders marrying continue to be a hot topic. I know firsthand that this is true even of my own marriage. I read an article a couple of days ago that was titled Why Savers and Spenders Marry . The author shares how her husband started a new job teaching in the fall and suggested he might need some new work clothes. She braced herself for a fight. To her surprise – she calls him Mr. Frugal, he agreed with her.

I know when I met my husband, he was a shopper to his heart. Believe me when I say shopper, I mean it seriously. One of the first things he asked me was to write down all of my sizes – clothes, shoes and jewelry. I must say this floored me because that had not ever happened. Mind you I did what he asked. Once we got married, he would shop for me. This was great because I HATE shopping. I love to shop for books (I am an avid reader) but not clothes. I don’t do Christmas shopping like most. I have to make my list of what I want, where it is at. Go in, purchase it and come out.

Okay, back to the post – so when we got married we agreed on a plan to clean up our debt. Within our plan we also decided to balance his spending and he agreed. So we established healthy boundaries in money management. So the shopper became conservative and saving.  I believe that in every saver and spender their is a part of the other perspective in each. It just depends on what you would purchase. Because I turn into a shopper when it comes to books, however, for anything else I am a saver.

Husbands and wives, brides and grooms  – open communciation and being honest about who you are is essential. If you are a shopper, you are a shopper. If you are a saver, you are a saver. Do not let that role cause you to live an unhappy marriage and life. Work together for common goals in the financial aspect of your marriage.

postheadericon Overcoming Impulse Buying to Benefit the Marriage

OOOH, I know this is a hot topic. Every marriage has a shopper and a saver and it can be quite the challenge initially to overcome impulse buying. You are window shopping and you hear those stores calling your name. Kind of like that young lady in Confessions of a Shopaholic – the intensions were good but weakness got the better of her.

When you are married and it is “OUR MONEY” and no longer “Your Money” it is a great thing to learn how to overcome impulse buying. So let’s look at the Pros and Cons of impulse buying which should really bring it home that you need to get it under control.

Understand I am writing this as if I was in my husband’s mind who is the shopper in our family.

Pro side to Impulse Buying
Get the item you want right then
If there is only one left, you do not miss out
Immediate gratification
Certain satisfaction of being able to do buy it because you can without having to save up for it

Con side to Impulse Buying
Spending money or charging money that you do not have
Buying it today and then realizing the next day it is not exactly what you wanted
Lack self-control

Understand there are different types of impulse buying such as this:

If you are impulse buying just for the sake of buying because it is a WANT and not a NEED. Then two days later you are asking yourself, why did you even purchase that.

If you are impulse buying because it is something you really need, have the money and it does not stop you from paying your bills.

Steps to Overcome Impulse Buying:

Remove the peer pressure if you feel pressured when with your friends.

Establish healthy financial boundaries and stick to it no matter the environment.

Leave the credit cards at home and take minimal cash with you when you go to the mall.

Do not fall for the credit card application and you will get this or that gift or discount. Go to the store and purchase what you went there for and leave the rest of it behind.

Impulse buying can lead to secrets about financial expenditures when revealed can divide and destroy a marriage. Get the impulse buying under control today.

postheadericon Money and Marriage is My Ministry

Money and marriage are near and dear to my heart because this is what I live.  I am the person that came to their marriage with financial baggage and maybe different than you I did put it on the table. As a matter of fact, so did my husband. We both came to our marriage with financial baggage and we are both Christians. My husband and I are a happily married couple of 13 years that know from our own experience how to be successful at money and marriage.

When it comes to dealing with financial baggage which can be anything from  – slow pays, homelessness, debt, bankruptcy, cleaning up credit, family and money, becoming parents, job loss, spending, student loans, bad credit, business decisions affecting finances and relationships – we have experienced it.

When I say this morning, Money and Marriage is My Ministry,  it is a ministry for me that I do not take lightly. I thought back to when I was interviewed by US News and World Reports – a question she asked was does faith impact money? I had soooo much fun answering that question because it does when you are a Christian, believer.  I am here to listen, then encourage and provide solutions that work to:

  • Couples that are in church whose finances are funny and they do not understand but do not think they can reach out to anyone for help because they believe they will be judged or their situation will become church staff gossip


  • Couples who are embarrassed to even say we have made wrong decisions and want to get our money and marriage right. We don’t want money being a reason we get divorced.


  • Individuals who are tired of making wrong financial decisions but need help in cleaning it up.  


  • Anyone that want help in the area of money and marriage without judgment and condemnation. 


  • The person that has fear when it comes to money.

Regardless of what you think, you can come out of financial frustration today. As far as I am concerned, Christian Marriages should be setting the example for those not of faith and encourage them to want to be a Christian. But I know that is not what has happened.   

It is time to equip Christian marriages with life skills to sustain marriages and not let them be a divorce statistic.  Let me address this – do you have to be a Christian to contact me? No, you do not and I will continue to provide you with solutions based on what I know works. 

Christian or not, when you are given solutions it will be your choice whether or not you utilize the information and move beyond financial frustation and begin the path of financial independence.

postheadericon Managing Money in Marriage – More

Everywhere you turn, managing money in marriage is a hot topic. It is no longer a subject that can be ignored. It such a blessing to be a money and marriage advocate that champions the cause of GREAT money and marriages that are successful.

I read an article in the Jamaica Observer this morning about Managing Money in Marriage where this person is frustrated with her husband because he spends a lot. Although they agreed to stick to a budget, he still spends. That is happening every day in someone’s marriage.

To the wife that is reading this, before you blame him – you know that he is a shopper. So you cannot fault him for his spending even though he agreed to save. Let’s face it he has done this before, this was not the first time. So before you blow up and get all upset and begin spending out of emotions, why don’t you sit down with him and re-evaluate your financial plan.

The idea is to be flexible in finances with your financial plan instead of stringent and not allowing any freedoms. If you are too stringent, then you will have frustrations with every expenditure that you did not count on. Relax a little bit.

Make sure that you take the time to discuss all the household bills and your income. This gives each person a picture of what needs to be done when it comes to the money. Work together for your money and marriage not against it.

postheadericon Couples Saying “I Don’t” To Expensive Weddings

Couples are discovering hidden talent and becoming craftier as they plan for their weddings. Due to the economy, weddings have been turned upside down by the recession. I have read story after story, including this one that says Couples are saying I Don’t to Expensive Weddings

I congratulate every couple that is realizing what is happening with the economy and choosing not to overspend. I encourage these same couples to take it one step further and invest in financial education skills for the lifetime of their marriage. Why you are making compromises for your “Dream Day”, think bigger and think about the day, the months and years after your wedding.

Money is a topic that should be discussed even know in a larger context beyond the wedding day. For example, the bride and groom should be asking each other, what financial obligations are you bringing into the marriage that I am not aware of? Are you a shopper or a saver? Those are only the beginning.

Talking about money in depth while you are preparing to walk down the aisle cannot hurt your relationship. It can actually help your relationship because you are choosing to be transparent and not hide anything from your respective bride or groom.


postheadericon NORMAL CAN no longer be the STANDARD

It is TIME to take MONEY and MARRIAGE to a new level.  Normal means regular, conforming to the standard. My definition of normal is this what the “world” deems as acceptable because it is common place.

Let’s take a look at what being “NORMAL” has done for Money and Marriage:

Its normal for people to get married without discussing money.

Its normal for brides and grooms  to carry debt into their marriage without disclosing.

Its normal for shoppers and savers to have financial infidelity in their marriage.

Its normal for young engaged couples to get caught up in planning for a marriage and not even think  beyond the wedding day.

Its normal to attend premarital counseling and not even address finances.

Its normal to spend huge amounts of money on a wedding and not provide life skills for the marriage to work.

Its normal to talk with co-workers about fiance or spouse’s spending habits and never talk with the spouse.

Its normal to get into arguments about money without resolving anything.

Its normal to allow silence to become the language of the relationship when it comes to money.

Its normal NOT to get help with finances and continue financial stress and strain in the relationship.

Its normal for marriages to end in divorce because of money. Look at the statistics. Money is one of if not the NUMBER 1 reason for divorce.

If you do not want “NORMAL” to be the standard for your marriage, then I am the one that is not the NORMAL choice. I believe in money and marriage without it being a TUG of WAR. Money and Marriage does not have to be stressful or make you become a person that you do not like because of financial challenges.

If you want to step out of the box and take a different approach, then contact me. It’s time to take your MONEY and MARRIAGE to a new, stressfree level.


Copyright ©2009 – Dr. Taffy Wagner – Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper citation.

postheadericon Saver and Spender Financial Tug of War

He spends, she saves or is it she saves and he spends? Regardless of which way, it is the shopper and saver roles in marriage can and have caused conflict. Conflict because when the husband and wife should be saving, the other person is spending. This sends the wrong message and causes conflict. The saver is hurt because they feel as if the spender is disregarding the overall household finances and doing what they want to do without  focusing on the short and long-term consequences.

The spender knows they want it now and that is all that matters. Question: Did the saver include the spender when establishing the household financial budget and how the bills are to be paid? Does the saver (could also be the money manager) explain how the overall finances work? Do not misunderstand I am not saying it is the saver’s fault. I am saying instead of having the saver and spender financial tug of war, sit down and start talking about money for the benefit of the marriage.

There are savers that are being hurt because they feel they are not being listened to when it comes to paying the bills. They see money continuously being spent when it should be saved or used for bills. Then they come up short for bills. Emotions began to come in and words are said that can hurt, emotional spending can occur and create more bills.

If you are the spender, before you purchase that next item that you HAVE to have (sounds like a want) ask yourself, is it worth it? If you waited until next week, would you still have to HAVE it or would you  have moved on to something else? Take 24 to 48 hours to think about it.

No longer be in a tug of war but rather on the same side.

Tip: The saver does also need to relax sometimes and splurge within bounds. Meaning where it will not affect the overall household finances.

postheadericon Marriage and Money Movie #4 – Father of the Bride

This is almost a typical father’s response when a daughter would announce her engagement. First thought she’s too young and definitely he is not good enough for his daughter. Naturally he would want his wife to agree with him but she does not. Mother and daughter hire a wedding consultant and spend uncontrollably. He is clearly dealing with the cost and also thoughts of losing his daughter. Movie does show the relationship that exist between a father and daughter.

Money Implications: The father is a “tightwad” as some might say. The mother and daughter are excited about the upcoming wedding and spend, spend, spend. In my opinion this sends the wrong message because she could spend uncontrollably against her soon to be husband’s wishes once married.

Money Tip #1: Emotions tend to dictate money solutions and should not. I always recommend people step back from the situation and let cooler heads prevail.

Money Tip #2: If you are a shopper, admit to it up front and do not let your spouse be surprised weeks after you return from the honeymoon that each week you are spending uncontrollably.

Money Tip #3: Pertaining to parents and married adult children, be cautious in the area of money. The husband and wife need to viewed as the husband of his new wife and not just “their son” and vice versa. They should for their household finances initially without running to mom or dad.

Money Tip #4: The wedding day is only the beginning of the marriage, begin the money talk prior to the wedding and continue it throughout the marriage.

If you want to purchase this movie and add it to your library:

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postheadericon Money Movie #3 – Confessions of a Shopaholic

This movie deals with romance and shopping, not so much romance from the outset. As a young girl, she thought shop windows saw a perfect world of dreamy thing. Grown up girls getting whatever they wanted and equated them to fairies and princesses that did not need money. They had magic cards. Once she is a young adult on her own, she shops her way through life. Loses job. Finds job giving money advice in a magazine. Love interest on job.

Money Implications: I knew this would be a fun one for me to asses because of the title and my not being a shopper.

First: Her mindset from her youth was as a shopper. This carried over into when she became an adult.

Money Tip: If you are a shopper, you are shopper. You can learn to shop within balance.

Second: This character had an excuse for everything she bought.

Money Tip: Stop shopping on impulse. You should not have to make an excuse for the things you purchase. That already says you know you should not have purchased it.

Third: This character stated she heard the mannequin calling out to her.

Money Tip: If you are walking in the stores and you hear the voices saying, come and buy me. You can respond mentally and say it is not the appropriate time. I am not giving in and walk away. Leave without giving in. It may be a challenge at first but you can overcome impulse shopping and overspending.

Overall Lesson: This movie clearly shows how your upbringing and exposure does affect your choices when you become a young adult and as an adult.

Recommendation: Do not hide it from your spouse that you are a shopper. It will eventually come out if you try to keep it a secret and it might come out to your disadvantage.

If you have not seen this movie or know someone that it would make a great gift for, purchase your copy now:

postheadericon Asset or Liability?

I felt this needed to be shared here.

Congratulations you are with the one you love. It is safe to say you have spent a lot of time together getting to know each other. You are engaged and planning the wedding of a life time. I remember exhibiting at bridal shows and all the brides going from booth to booth with family members and friends discussing specific items. It warmed my heart as I thought about these couples preparing to open a new chapter in their life.

As you are beginning this new chapter, I would prefer that you walk down that aisle with insight versus being in the dark. Before I continue, there are some of you that might believe you are prepared and could say “I Do” right now. We are about to find out. Understand this part will be fun but there is a serious side to it. Do not discount what you write. I ask that you be honest as you answer the question.

The purpose of this exercise is to open your eyes in an area that is one of the leading causes of divorce. It is to make you truthfully look at yourself and recognize where you could need some help and be more forthcoming about your financial picture.

If you have 5 or more yes answers then you are an Asset to yourself, will be the same in your marriage and will more than likely not keep financial secrets.

If you have 5 or more no answers then you are a Liability to yourself and will be the same in your marriage if you do not take steps to become a better financially oriented person.

If you have an equal number of yes and no answers, then you are in the middle of the road. You probably would benefit from some additional unbiased guidance to ensure you enter into your marriage with a goal of financial success and not failure.

Take out a sheet of paper and number from 1 to 10. Then write Y or N beside it after you read the question.

Are You An Asset or Liability?

(1) You have talked with your fiancé about your debt? Yes or No

(2) You have always paid your bills on time? Yes or No

(3) You believe that you and your fiancé should have separate accounts once married? Yes or No

(4) You know how to talk about money during engagement? Yes or No

(5) You have managed money well as a young adult? Yes or No

(6) You are a shopper and your fiancé has no idea? Yes or No

(7) If your fiancé lost his job once married, you would stay the course? Yes or No

(8) Would you be willing to share with your fiancé what you are being paid? Yes or No

(9) You would admit to your fiancé if you had a previous bankruptcy? Yes or No

(10) If your fiancé is bringing debt to the marriage, will you still marry him? Yes or No

(11) Do you believe that financial mistakes can be forgiven? Yes or No

(12) Would you keep financial secrets from your fiancé? Yes or No

Did you wind up being an Asset or a Liability? An asset means useful or desirable thing.
When you enter into your marital relationship even in the beginning you should be an asset bringing value. Or did you wind up being a liability which means debt owed. If you are a liability, you can take positive steps to change that for yourself and your relationship.

The above questions are to help you focus on a very important part of marriage. This was an eye opener and know that The Debt CAN Stop At The Altar. This tool can help you even face the reality that you need to begin talking with your fiancé about money even if you find it painful.

Copyright ©2009 – Dr. Taffy Wagner – Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper citation.