Posts Tagged ‘teamwork’

postheadericon Discussing Money Before Marriage

Brides and grooms there is no reason to fear discussing money before marriage if your soon to be spouse is your best friend, the person you can talk to about everything and the one you are marrying for love and not money. Regardless of what financial mistakes that were made prior to your saying “I Do”, you should put the cards on the table.

There are a variety of benefits to discussing money before marriage such as:

(1) Trust – If you can openly and honestly discuss your finances before you get marriage this can increase the level of trust within your marriage. This could say to your future spouse that you trust them and love them enough to share even the not so pretty picture so they are not broadsided later by an ugly truth.

(2) Teamwork – This presents to your future spouse teamwork versus division because of money. Discussing money before marriage allows both sides to see what each other did right and what mistakes might have been made. Furthermore, the two of you can come together and discuss a way to resolve financial issues together. This in itself can reveal how you will handle financial challenges once you are married.

(3) Financial Goals – Talking about money early gives you an opportunity to establish mutual financial goals. This gives you a glimpse into what you have to look forward to once you are married and how you can think about the short and long-term consequences of decisions made. You will see whether each one will fight to have their own way or be willing to compromise and work for the benefit of the relationship.

(4) Can keep you from being a statistic – Discussing money before marriage instead of keeping financial secrets from your groom to be, could keep your marriage from becoming a divorce statistic due to the lack of financial discussions.

postheadericon First Family Barack and Michelle Obama in the Marriage Fishbowl

I was watching CNN a few days ago when they were discussing the NY Times Reporter’s interview with The First Family regarding their marriage and it is very evident they are in what I like to call “The Marriage Fishbowl”.

The Marriage Fishbowl is clearly where everyone is watching your every move that the husband and wife make. Did he do this? Did she do that? What was the response? How do they handle this or that? Being in the marriage fishbowl will cause your marriage to be critiqued by some, praised by others, some will remain silent in wonder, there are couples that will try to live up to your representation of marriage and much more.

With Barack and Michelle Obama, clearly based on the interview facts are facts:

1) He had not lived in the home full-time since 1996. So being in the position they are in now is a good thing. Togetherness.

2) Date night is important to them. Yet it was criticized because of how he did it a year ago.

3) Family is important to them and he makes time for his wife and daughters despite being The President.

4) It was shared that there was a very stressful time in their marriage.

Life Lessons to Accept:

1) We all have a role in our marriage. When the other spouse is not there full-time, we take care of business and do what needs to be done especially when there are children involved. You do not let things fall apart.

2) Marriage takes teamwork. Communication is very important. Not arguing but talking with cool heads.

3) Wives and husbands are to support each other in their individual and mutual goals. VISION is important and know where you are going.

4) Date night is important because it gives you time to enjoy your relationship and each other.

Money was not a topic but I want to interject. Discussing money is very important and would alleviate financial mistakes. Because that too is something that is watched when you are in “The Marriage Fishbowl”.

What do you think it takes to make a marriage work? Leave your comments.

We will discuss “The Marriage Fishbowl” again.