Posts Tagged ‘walking down the aisle’
Why bother is a comment I heard when talking with a local wedding vendor about reaching out to engaged couples about money. That came back to my memory this morning as I decided to turn up the heat on MONEY DISCUSSIONS BEFORE marriage.
Why bother learning how to read and write?
Why bother learning how to drive a car?
Why bother getting a high school education?
Why bother going to college?
Why bother applying for a job?
Why bother sizing up who you are going to date?
Why bother dreaming about your wedding day?
Why bother having a wedding planner?
Of course that vendor rubbed me wrong and I decided to run with the comment. Think about it why do you learn how to drive a car, or why do you use a wedding planner, why do you dream about the wedding day…
I understand the message has not been communicated on a LARGE SCALE that you should be focusing on Money Talk Before Getting married because everyone is thinking about the wedding dress, the party, the cake, and more. Be honest with yourself – are you prepared if one of you becomes unemployed either before the wedding or afterwards? How would you handle a spouse making financial mistakes that impact the marriage? If one of you has more debt and the other spouse has none, how do you handle it?
Those are only some of the reasons that you BOTHER talking about money before walking down the aisle and taking those VOWS. Your VOWS should not be taken lightly. It seems as if couples are not taking their vows seriously especially when it comes to For Richer or For Poorer, For Better or For Worse. They only want the good and bail out when the bad comes.
Another reason you should BOTHER is “According to a survey by the Association of Bridal Consultants, MORE THAN 67% of newlyweds believe the most serious conflict in their first year of marriage is over money!!
Do you value your upcoming marriage ENOUGH to learn how to talk about money now? If so, go to www.moneytalkmatters.com/products and INVEST in your copy of Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and The Debt Stops At The Altar financial education program that you can use throughout your marriage.
Notice I said INVEST – Some of you expect to invest thousands on a dress or even for the complete wedding. What are you willing to invest to ensure you and your mate know how to communicate about money throughout the marriage instead of divorcing because of money?
Brides if your fiance is bad with money, now is the time to talk with him and plan for your financial foundation during your marriage. It is a GREAT thing that you are finding out this information prior to your walking down the aisle. You may be puzzled as to why! Because there are so many brides and grooms that are not even discussing money before marriage and then they become mad when they find out that the money is not right or the other person has debt.
The biggest expense of marriage is DIVORCE. While you are seeing that your fiance is bad with money, why not take steps together to correct his financial mistakes and any financial mistakes that you have made. While you are putting it out there that he is bad with money, what about you? Is your financial background spotless? If not, then I suggest you share with him as well what your financial background is so that you are starting from a place of everyone’s financial cards being on the table.
It is not fair if you do not share with him and you know in the back of your mind, you have made mistakes too. Even if you have not made mistakes, share with him how you handle money so that it can enlighten him on how you make financial decisions as well as what you base those decisions on.
After you have shared how you handle money, the two of you should look at what his plans are to clean up his financial situation. Establish goals that are achievable and realistic. He needs to be able to take some steps to correct his financial picture. That may or may not necessarily involve you. What you can do is to talk with him on a regular basis and see what progress he has made. This will let him know you are not just going to have a one time discussion and drop it. Encourage him to pursue financial relief in his own life.