Posts Tagged ‘wedding expenses’
There are fiances that have been affected by the economy several times and are not able to contribute to the wedding. If this is the case of your fiance, continue to support him and encourage him to continue to seek employment. It is hard when a man is not working because they are even harder on themselves because they believe they should be the provider.
As his future wife, the best thing you can do is encourage him and let him know that you are in this together. Speak life to him and say he will get the right job and it will pay what you need. If you and your fiance can think of the money now as your money, then you will be that much more ahead then if you are still in the mindset of yours and his, then once you are married it becoming ours.
Lessons you can learn right now are how to compromise, how to shop wisely and purchase your needs versus your wants. You can also learn how to be supportive of each other and work together. It is important that if you have a place together now that he also helps out with the household upkeep so that you do not have to work all day, come home clean and cook dinner. Will some future wives do that? Yes they will and then reach a point where they are burned out.
Communication with your future spouse is always going to be important. Talk WITH your future spouse and not AT them there is such a difference. Remember you are on the same team not opponents. I want to say this as well, if your family and close friends know your fiance is not working, DO NOT let them talk negative about him to you by any means.
There may be an instance or two where a bride is paying for her own wedding instead of her parents. She could easily be in position where she has saved money for her wedding, is working and will continue to have money after her wedding expenses. Should this be frowned upon by friends and colleagues? Personally I don’t think so, because the wedding will be paid for and the married couple will not start out their marriage with wedding bills.
It is important for couples to get to know each other as husband and wife, nurture their relationship after the wedding without financial stress. Let me tell you, when you are dealing with financial stress all you can think about is how are we going to pay the bills, not necessarily romance and continuing the honeymoon once you have returned.
Financial stress will cause you to point the finger and blame each other for different financial choices that are causing this strain. If the strain is sooo heavy, you might not be able to see your way out. This is the time when most couples will seek guidance because they were not prepared for the financial stress and strain on the relationship.
If the bride is in the position to pay it can be a good thing. If she is thinking about the money as “OURS” versus “HERS” then that will be a good thing. That can make the difference instead of her thinking of it as hers and her maybe potentially rubbing it in his face later that she paid for the wedding.
Enjoy the process of planning your wedding and knowing that when you prepare to walk down the aisle, it is all PAID for.